Tell me a piece of advice that you learned when you were a kid and is still good advice as an adult. I'll start: if you don't actually want to be a teacher, don't become a teacher.

September is apple flavored October is pumpkin spice flavored November is maple flavored So I have decreed

Sleeve of saltine crackers save me Save me, sleeve of saltine crackers

These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls

I wish Del Toro’s Frankenstein was a more comprehensive look at the monster’s life. They never cover when he met Abbott and Costello, for example.

Signal boosting this gang! ❤️ #TheLastDriveIn

Buying this cheap Italian wine and fancy Jell-O at the grocery store might have been the single silliest set of checkout items of my entire life. #MutantFam #TheLastDriveIn #girldinner

I heard tonight is Jell-O night, so here I am to represent Team Bava ... or will I? I like Argento stuff too ... Aaagh #TheLastDriveIn

*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please

In the shadow of the forest, though she may be old and worn, They will stare unbelieving At the last unicorn 🦄 🎼

It turns out, eating a fun size Heath bar in the shower does -not- actually enhance the experience of showering.

This is who runs this account

I thought I wasn't going to get any trick or treaters yesterday and was very pleasantly proven wrong and got to give out ALL of my full size candy bars. 🎃 🍬

happy halloween 👻👻👻

@realgdt.bsky.social Happy Halloween! 🧟‍♂️ #MutantFam #Halloween #Frankenstein

🔴

Went to see Frankenstein and now I can't stop Frankenstein-ing #MutantFam

I just think childhood trauma gives us good flavor. #TheLastDriveIn #Splatterween #MutantFam

Ok electrolytes, fix me already #TheLastDriveIn #Splatterween #MutantFam

All autopsies have two purposes: 1.) For fun 2.) For fun while determining the cause of death #FangoriaChainsawAwards

Can't help but notice that Ryan Coogler has a book all about grilled cheese behind his desk 👀 #FangoriaChainsawAwards

A couple of my favorite people laying on the cheese tonight. ❤️❤️ #FangoriaChainsawAwards

All snacks on deck and ready for the #FangoriaChainsawAwards!! I already can't believe the production value this year whoa.

I usedtah look good, I usedtah have class, usedtah be a contendah.

Almost done with the Ed Gein thing and all I gotta say is WHY BELLBOTTOMS

I think this show is a stellar example of how to cast some excellent actors and then make them seem less excellent by giving them terrible direction.

Dang it's so jarring to see one of my celebrity crushes go from being Raleigh in Pacific Rim to fucking ED GEIN 🥲

"IT ABSOLUTELY WILL STOP!!!"

Time to bring back an oldie but goodie. Magical girl transformation.

every AI ad is like “hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?” and then the phone is like “sandwich” and the guy is like “wow”

If I had the power to switch consciousness into other people's bodies, it would be really bad because I would have to taste the last thing that person was eating, and what if I didn't like it?

Allow me to offer you a healing brain simulation: close your eyes. Imagine that it's nighttime, an old Nova episode about dinosaurs is playing in the background on TV, you are wrapped in a warm blanket after eating a bunch of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Crickets are chirping outside.

💧🔫 #ScoobyDoo #art

Me, trying to talk about normal commonplace things during a normal day: "I think the American public may have become confused about the difference between terrorism and assassination."

I don't really have anything to say about 9/11 today, I only have something to say about fall flavors: September is the Time Of The Apple, and October is the Time Of The Pumpkin, let the apple have its time in the spotlight, have you no love for an apple cider doughnut?!

I might have enjoyed Weapons more than other people did

Made the mistake of accidentally opening the Discover tab, don't go in there, it got horny as hell at some point.

I have long felt that medieval beekeeper outfits have been underrepresented and plague doctor outfits overrepresented, it's time to let that beekeeper aesthetic shine! #TheLastDriveIn #TheChurch

I know I'm opening up like a can of worms here. But I typically tip takeout clerks 10%. Because it's not their fault that absolutely no one in the tech center has time to sit down and eat lunch at the restaurant, and now they have an empty dining area and no way to make their tips. #TheLastDriveIn

I always tip, I love tipping, I believe in drawing good tips on my eyeliner and leaving good tips for employees #TheLastDriveIn

The air quality in Colorado is currently the fifth worst in the world so everything looks like we orange like we live on goddamn Tattooine #TheLastDriveIn #MutantFam

Heading out to pick up my pizza for #TheLastDriveIn tonight!! Who's gonna watch with us?! #MutantFam

briefly peepin' the program director's desktop during an online lecture like

Was thinking about the word "university" today and how the root of that word is "universe". Like you go into a place which contains worlds. How amazing

This wedding outfit brought to you by clearance silk flowers from the dying corpse of the local JoAnn.

How's Britney Spears doin? Has anyone checked? Is she still flipping knives around or whatever?

Thred Up really needs to stop sending me targeted ads for clothes that are a size 0-4 it's just cruel.

Seeking: asexual male friends. Apply within.

I honestly think that the story of Jesus turning water into wine would have been way more compelling if instead of using magic he did a sleight of hand thing, like a magician, like real Mindfreaks shenanigans