being scared of the adult psyche ward makes me risk my life i am scared of and for myself

i feel like i need saved im so scared

"i'm tired of hearing it all the time" imagine living with it i can't take it anymore

day after day

bruising the wrist bruising didn't show up

went from 195 to 184 in two weeks

that's definitely not the half bagel i ate

yeah idk how yall get it up

how do yall purge i litterally cant get myself to throw up my food

i need to quit letting myself like people i go crazy

year ago today fell into my dresser getting into the bathroom

jesus christ

i hate how ugly and disgusting my skin is but i can't help but want to make it worse

never posted an update for those either

anyways here's that update i disappear because i feel fine for like a week or two after then i spiral again an AWESOME cycle right 😀

it's funny how i just disappear for weeks at a time every time im still going crazy dw

can't take it anymore here's some small ones

i'm so sick why does cutting instantly make me feel like everything's okay but that only lasts a week then i'm back to suffering

shrinkage is annoying as fuck

all i feel like i own are shorts wtf

but god that shower made me feel sick cause of the pain

next day and after shower the infected hair follicles is not it but i was not dealing with the blood all night so it was trapped under a tight gauze wrap

i'm bleeding through everything another roll of gauze and self stick shit

like please what did i do to you to be punished like this

i'm just trying not to kms why do i have to be punished

why me

okay actually kms dude my dad gets up in 20

anyways patchup job

i want to cut more but that spot is too sensitive and i don't like doing it in more then one spot

god i'm always losing my blades

but when i try it doesn't work

like you're joking

now imagine if i did it on my arm like i originally planned

no cause it's annoying how well they work stp

at least we know cutting is definitely a good distraction cause what the actual fuck why did they never work this good when i wanted em to

they'll definitely work for tomorrow tho i used to use these all the time tho

definitely a vein there bro they'll d

i have blood everywhere wtf when i had these last time they never one swiped like this there is blood on my bedsheet

fuck i'm not used to my favorite blades i wanted to die tomorrow not tonight wtf it's on swipe fuck fuck fuck

went to walmart alone and got my favorite blades again

these blades suck #shbsky

i just need to go to walmart alone so i can get my good blades instead of stuff i can get away with buying anyways

damn who knew texting 988 would actually keep me distracted long enough to be too tired to hurt myself. but paying too much attention to what i said sucked cause i don't wanna be sent away

my heart is beating so hard i can see it in my stomach and limbs

how do i get out i dont wanna die i just need out of my head and this place

gained a 15th body and then after the left and i cleaned a vibrator snd it got stuck in the sink is this god punishing me

having only vodka red bull and a black pepper bacon sandwich from dunkin in my system is a vibe