One time a professor said to me, “I defy you to name one biological process that doesn’t involve kinases.” And you know what, I never defied him.

Considering there was a press conference where he told us to inject ourselves with bleach, this is saying something.

Nice try, Australia. Everyone knows that the rapture will start in America, God’s favorite country. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Shana tova my Jews!

The fact that only one person liked this tweet proves that we need more study on this issue.

The Taylor Swift channel on XM just played Fifteen followed by So High School. If anyone needs me I’ll be writing a second PhD dissertation about this.

If the Chiefs don’t make the playoffs does Cris Collinsworth self-destruct?

Fuck Jimmy Fallon. Sit down in solidarity with (and I can’t believe I’m saying this about the guy I first saw on Win Ben Stein’s Money and The Man Show) the better Jimmy.

Skattebo sounds like a funny noise Adam Sandler makes.

Haha Butker wide right again. Cut that joke.

😀: Asked to be on a thesis committee! 😭😭😭: It’s an immunology student!

If my name were Pickens I would play cornerback, not wide receiver, I’m just saying.

How sure are we about this? My grant is due on Sept 25, so I’d like to know how much effort I should be putting in.

Fantastic 4! Nap time!

Scooped out everything bagel.

Tonight’s Zoom happy hour theme: Goodfellas! Sausage, peppers and onions (with razor blade thin garlic!), charcuterie, cannoli, and crème de menthe!

I don’t particularly miss living on Long Island, but I do miss hearing the word gabagool on a regular basis.

It’s “funny” seeing people I used to interact with on Twitter being main characters in real life.

Don’t. Piss. Off. Reviewers.

What a (anxiety inducing) game! Go Bills!!

K1 made Bills potato logo cupcakes! Tailgate!

Fig balsamic glazed prosciutto wrapped Josh Allen melon. Tailgate-ready. #billsmafia

All that stands between me and tailgating for the Bills game is…a day of study section… 🫠

What’s the ideal number of PhD thesis committee members? Mentor + how many?

TFW you post about a new bagel on the scene and piss off your go-to bagel guy. Living the influencer life is hard work! 😜

News.

Food question: I’m going to a tailgate at the Bills game Thursday night. Meats will be plentiful. Will I be laughed at for bringing prosciutto-wrapped melon with fig balsamic? (Note: the melons are from Josh Allen’s family farm. Note 2: also bringing beer, of course.)

The post-Bills win nap is elite.

My wife and I both think the Bills TEs are looking great today but I’m not sure we are talking about the same thing…

Punching myself in the nose in solidarity.

TAKE MY NOSE, JOSH #BillsMafia

Once again begging the Bills to delete screens from our playbook.

Tonight’s Zoom happy hour theme: The Smurfs! Pork chops with blueberry sauce, roasted purple potatoes, lemon blueberry cookies, blueberry goat cheese, and Papa Smurf cocktails!

I am beginning to think that Elton John’s Rocket Man is about drugs.

Very excited to hear from Dr Ruth Franklin as the keynote speaker at the 6th Annual Post-Doctoral Symposium at Roswell Park! @ruthfranklinlab.bsky.social

A-tack-seq OR attack-seq? Explain your answer.

Quick break from study section to say that Dunkin Donuts discontinued their chocolate chip muffins and are therefore dead to me.

Just for fun, I'm going to give you some clips of the hate mail I got from being placed on Kirk's TPUSA Dangerous Professor list. Buckle up:

A PSA on PSA from @glaucomflecken.bsky.social... www.youtube.com/shorts/_u0CW...

Duolingo changing from an error-based system to an energy based system is total crap. Gracias.

Full professor complaining to an assistant professor on how hard it is to get funding nowadays

Let’s say a new coffee shop/entertainment space with a small stage opened up right near your office and you wanted to hold a “science open mic night” but all you have is the title and no idea how to run it. What would you do??

I also had a massively viral TikTok and escaped from an escape room today so really that Bills game was just icing on the cake.

I am so amped up I feel like I could write a whole R01!! (This is the scientist version of running through a brick wall)

My wife says driving around my neighborhood and honking my horn while I scream “MVP MVP MVP!!” is “not the best idea.” 🤔

My dad LOVED close games. I asked him to help out towards the end. So thanks, Dad.

WHO IS GOING WITH ME TO MEET THE PLANE AT THE AIRPORT?!?!?

MVP MVP MVP!!!

I can’t watch.

I am literally crying.