Brendan forever has always said “Bless the Binky” after I sneeze and I never even registered it was weird until yesterday.

People who like Always Sunny really like to hear white people just screaming a lot.

Listening to F**k Me Eyes on repeat to distract me from this fucking bill.

“I know I don’t have the best confidence but I AM as cool as snoopy in sunglasses” @bstephens.bsky.social

Not my husband saying “UGH I found a hair as white as Santa’s pubes!!”

Ready for Taylor Swift to write the song about Travis Kelce being bummed to lose the Super Bowl meanwhile was losing her by being a Trumpie.

Is it just me or did parents that freaked out about saying OMG because of it ~taking the Lord’s name in vain~ instead of explaining that using it to justify and weaponize ya know destroying other people and civilization maybe not the move? Idk.

Trump has been in office 1 day and that morherfucker already gave me COVID

My personality currently is watching tik tok videos of people eating food I have no access to and being sad about it.

Just gonna say it: grow up and stop being afraid of all snakes. Most are fine. Get over it.

After Brendan’s first peloton ride he feels ready to be an instructor that wears corpse paint and does metal and REAL emo rides.

My work requires me to say good morning to everyone and my coworker and I did it in the wrong group chat and I got in trouble can I quit my job now?

First time getting Covid 0/10 experience donor recommend

I am often in the position where I get the opportunity to be the dumbest person in the room. I hope I am appreciated for this.

Brendan and I have animals that visit us regularly on our porch and we call them “porch pals” idk how to feel.