“There is no definitive proof the puck crossed the line” I mean besides the overhead shot showing it crossed the line but SURE

accidentally becoming a Montreal Victoire partisan based on the annoying siren woooo noises

this feeling lasted an entire 300 minutes

I cannot keep defending this club, but I also can’t give them up. This is what hell is going to feel like when I get there, isn’t it

Sels has been PANTS this season and suddenly remembers how to make saves I am incandescent

my head has gone past mars and is rapidly heading toward the asteroid belt

on my way to Nottingham to fight the announcers for using the Q word this many times

Jesus/Saka, I get, Merino coming in I have Questions About

🎶 theeeeere it issss again, that funny feeeeling 🎶

the announcers calling that a sitter is excessive but fuck it’s hard to get closer without it going in

🔨

☺️

every single time Khusanov is in the citeh lineup:

FUCKING FINALLY, THANK YOU

lmao Doku just got spun and dribbled past by…hang on let me check my notes here…Harry Maguire. Hell yeah.

and a quick reminder that Nico O’Reilly was able to get two yellow cards for that one passage of play, but it is, once again, something you’ll never see be given again

Jon Champion taking the blatantly obvious bait of The Robot still being down is getting added to the evidence file for him being the worst PL announcer

Yanited have had the ball in the net twice since I cut this on about 20 minutes ago, which is going to make the 1-0 result to 115 FC even more annoying

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Lehman Brothers FC get Semenyo and Guehi within a week of each other, it is too fucking early in the morning for my head to be this gone

If you vote for Gavin Newsom, I will kick you in the fucking dick, if you give a dollar to Matt Yglesias, I will kick you in the fucking dick, there is no negotiation with fascism, you do not need advice on fighting a dragon from someone who’s never even smelled the fire

one of the best pizzas I’ve had in my life was a chicken pizza in Gdansk, Poland. 11 years later, I remember next to nothing about it and I still think about it sometimes

Friday the 13th Home Opener? It’s scary hours* *for Portland

T-15 minutes until we figure out when I’m flying to Chicago for my second @washingtonspirit.com away day ✈️

a stupid smelly match with two goals by shark faced fucker I can’t stand, but hey a win’s a win and we’re on to Nottingham Forest

“Garnacho was onside in 2023 you know” says a concerningly familiar voice in the Chelsea dugout

Benny Blanco loves a goal against the Blues

Simon Hooper AND Jared Gillett, oh joy of joys

I don’t really care about the starting 11’s on paper, I will be nervous until proven otherwise

(screams into every known void) FINE ITS FINE ITS ALL FINE FUCK

we all we got, we all we need, on to next week 🔵🔴

that’s such a fucking great throw

I love me some Will Campbell but it’s been a *tough* outing for him tonight

he’s gonna look so good in patriots navy and silver next year

GABI HAT TRICK GABI HAT TRICK GABI HAT TRICK GABI HAT TRICK

Welcome Back Kai 👑

scary hours… and not for us

these dumbfucks don’t even know that was his second goal of the game, I am clawing at my walls

bad vibes, bad weather, bad announcers, bad performance, can we just hit Sim To End?

“Two set pieces, ugly goals for Arsenal” that gabi header was gorgeous, fuck off

“We all expected this to be 4, 5 nil”

four goals with the robot on the field (two of them being OGs) and six with him off?

the annoying thing is folks are going to say that 115 FC beating the 14th best team in League One at home with most of their first eleven starting (I went to double check this and the cheats hit a ninth, good lord) actually means something

Macclesfield, I was not familiar with your game

I’ll be smiling about this until Tuesday let’s fucking goooooo

the real recap of tonight’s match youtu.be/vlWi1O6qSzQ?...

Slot: "I don’t know Martinelli but he comes across as a nice guy. The problem for him and in general is there’s so much time wasting and players pretending they’re injured that you can be annoyed... I'm 100% sure that if [Martinelli] knew what the injury might be, he wouldn't do that."

You’ve seen players try to move opponents off the pitch before when they thought they were wasting time. They shouldn’t do it, but it’s a thing that happens. To suggest it was anything more than that - a dumb decision - is a massive stretch.