*in bold red letters* "Mark your calendars. This zoom meeting is mandatory." *attends zoom meeting* "Thank you for joining this meeting even if it wasn't required."

Not to be superstitious, but everytime I pay attention, watch the game, or keep track of the score, the Cubs lose. But when I know the game is happening and I just go about my day, they win.

Taught the same lesson 5 times. Retook the assessment with the 4th graders, did it with them, and they still didn't know exactly what to do. Did a Costco run. Took Robin to the vet and they were 30 mins behind. I have no energy left. I have nothing else to give today. I am drained.

I'm supposed to be grading assessments and planning but here I am, just...

Who what where why

One of my 5th graders: "You're a broski. That means you're cool." Me on the inside:

"I do have to say Nancy, you are making progress. We'll definitely keep exploring ocd. But I am seeing progress." A win is a win.

Now, why did I just tell the tire guy that I'm broke, and that's why I can't change all four tires...? He didn't even ask, nor did he try to upsell!

I used to be able to eat a bag of cheddar jalapeño cheetos with valentina and lime juice and be completely fine. I just ate some and I feel absolutely terrible.

When I hang out with my sister and her boyfriend and they have their own inside jokes.

Why did I dream last night that I had to go back to high school as a 29 year old?

After two weeks of teaching, I now understand why some people drive home in complete silence.

Reminder to self: You can only vent to your boyfriend and your therapist.

I have my kindergarten classes tomorrow.

Notes to self: - 2nd and 3rd graders don't think "I'm broke" jokes are funny. - 2nd and 3rd graders will think that you comparing yourself to a gif of a cat aggressively typing is hilarious.

Teenage me: tshirts are how I express myself College me: let me get rid of all my tshirts Teacher me: tshirts are how I express myself

The same people that are complaining right now about the Fed bringing back Brock Lesnar are the same people who are going to continue to watch the product. When the lawsuit came out, they voiced their opinions, yet they continued to watch it. When they brought HH back after all the things he said

If you don't have money, don't plan a party. The custom in the rancho my family is from is ridiculous. Having padrinos for every single thing is insane. Especially when they haven't spoken to you in months, years, then they hit you with the "quieres ser padrino de..." message.

Really craving a sbarro slice with some baked ziti...

I dreamt that I had a baby. So many confusing emotions right now...

I just need two mortgage payments!

One day, I won't be stressed... not yesterday and maybe not today... but one day

Is it trauma dumping or am I just comfortable sharing my lore?

Fireworks will be my enemy as long as my dogs lives.

Yeah, watching Lo Que La Gente Cuenta before bed was not a good idea...

5 more days until esy is done 5 more days until esy is done 5 more days...

Today, the social worker told the kids, "All feelings are valid, but all actions are not." Doing some deep introspection after that one.

The em dash and triadic phrases are, apparently, signs that someone used AI to write an essay. As someone who uses the em dash and applies triadic phrases—because I love the number three—it's insane that we have to dumb down our writing so that we're not presumed to have used AI.

I have to work for another 38 years until I can retire and receive my full pension. I don't like it here.

Health.

I will be damned if I allow a bunch of Confederate-waving January 6th apologists give the American people a lecture on flag waving. There is ZERO reason to enter an argument about patriotism with people who still worship traitors to America 150+ years later. They. Are. Breaking. The. Law.

When you show this classic to your kids and now they do it all the time 🙌

To the 4 people that always view all my stories on ig, I owe you my life 🫰

Me: do you know who El Hijo del Perro Aguayo is or who Los Perros del Mal are? My nephews: no... Me:

On the side of tiktok where moms complain about teachers/schools over a situation that was clearly the child's fault. Whenever they say "this mama" or "this mama bear," it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. If I ever refer to myself by those terms, it's likely that I've been possessed.

Chicago Day or Starved Rock?

Am I a Lego person now?

Little by little 🪴 #myfirstgarden

My downfall will be caused by my anxiety; I just know it.

"I feel like I look like the hunchback of notre dame or like the guy from the goonies." My therapist:

Someone needs to take away *reply all* from some people!

Me: luxury brands don't interest me in the slightest Also me: a Prada bag and sunglasses would be nice...

Plenty of politicians on both sides of the aisle feel threatened by rising class consciousness.

Seattle. Japan. Disneyland Tokyo. Ireland. In no specific order.

Tiktok, stop showing me wedding content. Read the room...

Finished watching Up in the Air and... SHE WAS MARRIED AND WITH KIDS?!?! AND THEN SHES UPSET BECAUSE HE SHOWED UP AND COULDVE RUINED THINGS FOR HER?!?! SHES THE ONE THAT CHEATED AND DIDNT TELL HIM SHE HAD A FAMILY