I’ve mostly recovered from my CAR-T infusion, day +10 and most of my symptoms have gone away. I’m unfortunately having a small reaction from one of my medications, but my teams working with me to identify and remove the one that’s causing it.

God. CAR-T also hurts soooo fucking bad

Feeling much better after some sleep. With any luck, the worst I will feel is behind me. Will just keep pushing forward

Day +2 after the CAR-T infusion. I feel a little under the weather, like I’m a little sick, but overall this isn’t the worst I’ve felt. This so far, knocking on wood, is nothing compared to chemo. Just means its working and my cells are going crazy killing the cancer off. Apparently day 4-6 is worse

Also. Fuck all of you who abandoned me without reason. You guys are cowards and couldn’t even give me a goodbye, just blocked me and moved on. Y’all are pussies who are too scared to have any confrontation. A simple “hey I can’t talk to you anymore” would have been better than just ghosting me.

I’m officially a GMO. My CAR-T infusion was a few hours ago.. I have Chimeric T cells coursing through my body rn absolutely cleaning house.

Finished my *last* round of chemo yesterday. Jesus Christ they said this one was not gonna be as rough as R-CHOP or R-ICE.. but man were they way wrong. Cyclophosphamide fucked me up good I haven’t been able to stop vomiting for the last 2 days.. at least it’s all over now.. no more chemo..

Had the follow up appointment to discuss the scan results and follow up treatments. I’m getting a good ending currently, the best ending would have been R-ICE putting me in remission, but doc was plenty happy that it’s shrunken down to the size of a peanut, especially compared to what it was.

Follow up scan results came back, first image is October, the entire mass is the cancer, the second image is from Saturday, it’s roughly the size of a pistachio now so epic win

Damn what a week it’s been. I finished chemo on Friday and immediately after my husband got the flu and brought it home. I have been bed ridden for the last week but woke up feeling GREAT today. Went out on a nice ride in the SVX listening to music loud as FUCK and enjoyed the cool winter air :3c

What is your problem

All done with chemo!!! As long as my scan looks good at the end of the month, I’ll move onto CAR-T therapy, become a GMO, then NEVER. Have to do this shit again.

Last day of R-ICE.. this chemo is frying my braaaiiinnnnnn

Round 2 of R-ICE starts today.. drug 1/4 is already done infusing… I feel like dogshit already…

Last round of this chemo regimen starts on Wednesday, ends on Friday. Just one more time with this stuff… R-ICE hurts so bad, that shit is liquid pain.. I guess that means it working..?

Finally bit the bullet and shaved my head. I’m actually devastated.

Yeah. I think it’s time I cut my losses with my hair sadly.. I think it’s done.. this really really fucking sucks… I know it’ll come back, but it took me a year just to get to where I am now.. this really really fucking sucks.

Despite, y’know, having cancer. I’m still a happy person, I’m much happier than I was a year ago, let alone a few years ago. God. I wasn’t living at all. How did I survive it lol

Losing my hair this time around really, really sucks ):

As time goes on I get my strength back.. R-ICE got me all sorts of fucked up.. but I can handle it.. I have to handle it. I have to beat this. There is No other option for me.

Oh man I was so violently ill this morning.. nearly passed out and could barely move.. I slept all day, got some nice cold water to help cool me down.. my husband made the most delicious chicken soup ever after too.. I’m feeling so much better now than a few hours ago.,

I survived chemo yesterday (: all done for a couple weeks.. I get to just stay home and relax now.. my body hurts so bad but the worst of it’s all over..

Rituximab hurts so fucking bad

Almost done with the first drug for today.. 2 more to go..

Day 3 and final for this round of R-ICE chemo… the Rituximab is scheduled for a 6 hour infusion today… it’s been well over a year since my last dose so my antibodies for it are likely gone. I had such a bad reaction during the first infusion that I was hallucinating and my heart rate dropped

I really didn’t miss this feeling. This regimen is so much worse than my last one.. at least I’m almost done for today.

Chemo’s going in.. hopefully this shit doesn’t get me as sick as it did the first time. It’s a different regimen this time tho and from what I’ve heard this one is worse.

T Cells successfully extracted… they will be sent off and reengineered and I’ll see the again in about 6-8 weeks.. until then.. I start chemo tomorrow.. R-ICE is a pretty intense regimen from what I heard.. not looking forward to it. Rituximab was the absolute worst thing I’ve endured.

Despite these last few years absolutely beating me into the dirt, it’s been so nice to be surrounded by people who care about me and treat me right.. I couldn’t ask for better friends, family, and husband.. y’all have made everything I’ve gone through worth it.

I got possesed into doing this

I will add, this is one of the funniest/unfortunate ways to come out to my family depending how you look at it. Forgot I was on HRT as my oncologists listing off my medications I’m taking in front of my family LMAO

So mixed bag of news. Yes, my cancer is back confirmed. Yes, it is likely the same cancer as before. But, with the larger biopsy sample taken this time, they were able to reclassify it from Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma, to Primary Mediastinal B Cell Lymphoma, which is a rare cancer.

Wish me luck today

I got Schrödinger’s cancer until my follow up appointment tomorrow afternoon… I really, really fucking hope it’s good news.. this has been horrible to go through.

Man. I just wanna live my life.

I hate waiting!!!!!

This is what they ended up cutting out of me the other day. Wild.

I’m scared

I’m home from surgery… I’m soooo sore but they gave me silly medicine to help with the pain which has been nice (:

Surgy time…

Surgery is in just a few hours to cut a good chunk of this fucker out of me.

Met with oncologist today. I don’t like the number she gave me, my life is basically a coin toss.

This fight will be harder I know it. If it’s the same type of cancer then it’ll be a different chemo regimen as well as radiation. I’m going to piss this one out the same way I did the first one.

Surgical consultation tomorrow morning for a biopsy on it. HRT had to be paused until I can talk to my oncologist… it’s gonna be one hell of a way to come out to my family that I’m on estrogen lol

I’m so fucking scared

Well… time for cancer again

Well gamers.. I’ve officially started HRT

I have also previously made it 26 laps around the sun without ever breaking a bone.. that has changed recently though.

I officially have an HRT appointment next week… I’m so nervous and excited