It’s a major award!

This old girl. She doesn’t want to use the ramp in the snow. Her use of space is the number one reason I won’t put up a big tree this year. We are having to resort to pee pads in our dining room. But look how cute she is. #greyhounds

Considering how I feel at the moment, there may be no decking of halls this year. I haven’t even found the oomph to put away the paltry few Halloween decorations I put out. But we have a tradition of making wreaths after Thanksgiving dinner, and I am happy with the result.

Maybe it’s because hubby’s been out of town, but the girl has been dragging things all over the house the past few days. Yesterday, it was one of my sweaters to her bed and today a blanket from her bed to the dining room.

The very first word of a social media biz post I made yesterday used the wrong “you’re.” I wanted to leave the country and change my name. Then these emails. I rly need to lrn 2 chil.

Y’all it’s Nov3.

We always mess up our count but we gave away my personal stash of Jolly Ranchers to finish at 8 PM w/290. Neighbor counted 332. And they have a team of counters. So they’re probably right.

Doug’s annual tradition of intentionally misidentifying preschool superheroes has begun in earnest. And the niblet posing as the headless horseman and subtly moving to terrify the parents.

The scariest scene in my real life horror film is trying to stop my dog from eating whatever she just found in the yard at 1:30 am in the dark while it’s raining outside. Followed closely by insomnia before a busy day. What are some of yours? Hope your Halloween is only treats today!

I will never stop saying this.

She got mad because Doug left for a haircut, and these toys were on her bed. Then she went to lie down in another room anyway.

I suffered a loss early am, when I observed THRICE a mouse scuttling around and under my couch. The place I relax and often sleep. My comfortable safe space for Grantchester viewing and book reading and solitaire and tea drinking and meditation. +

Don’t worry, Mitch McConnell, we haven’t forgotten that most of this is your fault.

TTW you’re simultaneously happy and sad. This pic of Hux’s derpy smile does that. A memory from 4 years ago. Miss this giant goofball. #greyhound

Do any of you Gen-X, non-denominational Christian peeps remember your parents/teachers telling us not to buy P & G and Crest because of Moonie symbols on the packaging? And Moonies equaled satanism, I guess?

“I’ll be 10 min late sorry!!!” -ashamed -fragile -unreliable “A thousand apologies. The relentless slog of time has overtaken my faculties.” -powerful -commanding -honest

Seven years ago today my mother had surgery for a brain tumor. A week later we, unknowingly, celebrated her last birthday with us. Add all this inhumane cruelty and greed that is public policy and I wonder if I’ve experienced my last “good day.” I won’t give in to hopelessness forever, but today?

BREAKING: Disney+ is to replace the two-season run of Andor with a recut version that runs for only five minutes, and is just Mon Mothma apologising profusely to Darth Vader for any inconvenience, and letting him have whatever he wants.

At least two upcoming prayer and candlelight vigils honoring CK are scheduled in my MAGA-infested corner of the planet. I hate it here. Encouraged to learn two cousins walked out of their church Sunday instead of consenting to listen to the man be eulogized from the pulpit, though.

I’m doing some research about women’s legacies for a writing circle I’m starting next year. Y’all, Mary Shelley doesn’t get talked about enough. I knew enough about her to want to learn more. And I’m a bit obsessed at the moment. Tell me your favorite feminist ideal from a woman in history.

Teenage Bounty Hunters

There are too many gun deaths in this country. Everywhere. Everyday. Political violence and murder are unacceptable. Every time. Everywhere. Volence in any form is abhorrent. Everywhere. Always.

Osti has tucked herself in with her giraffe.

That thing when after several hours of uninterrupted work you have to make sure the dog, that normally interrupts you dozens of times a day, is still breathing. She was. I think the storm last night broke her.

I started playing Spiritfarer again last weekend. Wanna see a beautiful look into the life of a death doula or hospice worker? This is it. It’s cathartic. If you’re grieving, it may bring up memories and sadness. I’ve cried a few times already, but it’s such a healing journey.

Our local county council voted to end recycling last night despite petitions and a packed house in support. This preacher can endorse murder and our the illegitimate leader of the regime with no legal redress. I’m working so hard to build community, but in this hell state it is hard. Hate it here.

When you’re in mourning and channeling the Coven, but you do it with love.

After doing my dishes I’m heading to Michael’s to buy black ribbon for mourning arm bands. I’m nervous, though, because Halloween has begun there and I DO NOT have the money for that distraction. Send me good vibes for some self-control.

The world is shit, but we just rewatched The Detectorists. It’s a delight.

So what bespoke arts and crafts ideas do you have for all these constitutions we got lying around? Just lining birdcages?

Y’all I had to empty my garage today. I took many breaks and drank so much water. I had every door and window out there open, but I still thought I was going to die. Y’all that have to work outside? I’m so sorry. Our unhoused. I cannot imagine. I may not leave my house until October.

Yesterday someone posted a thread about who they hate most at this moment. I said this ghoul, even before he said this. I hold him directly responsible for the loss of our judicial branch of checks and balances.

I spent a long time today journaling about all these feelings and thoughts about life, death, afterlife and all those big “death bed” questions. Cause we’re there right now. Sitting helplessly at the bedside of of human decency, human rights, peace, environment. Each organ ceasing its function. (1)

Listening. Witnessing. These things drive me as a death doula and grief companion. I want people to feel seen and heard. It’s the only way to begin healing. Each other and ourselves. I am so grateful for my circle of friends who always see me - fully and truly. It’s a real blessing.

After a long night, had to check if the girl was breathing around 11:00. Sleeping with her eyes open and tongue out. Osti arrived here 1 year ago today. She arrived during a heat wave, nightly fireworks, me jet-lagged from Japan with an inner ear tear that gave me vertigo for weeks. (1/2)

Osti is completely unbothered by her new thunder shirt. We’re going to let her wear it a few hours a day at random times to prepare for doggie Armageddon (July 4) in a few weeks.

My wish for my 55th year on this planet. I want to see more rainbows, feel more sun on my face and grass under my feet. I wish to love more enthusiastically and louder than those who scream and spread hate. I want to build a bigger table to include those who feel unwelcome or unloved. (1/3)

Probably 1974. Maybe “75

Yay! Got squirrels in the attic for my birthday this year. I need off this ride. I’m so tired. I know. I know. Join the crowd.

The world is shit. My birthday is 8 days after the anniversary of my Mom’s death. I don’t feel like celebrating. Instead, I recruited some friends to help me assemble kids’ birthday boxes for local food pantries. They have stepped up in a big way. Do something to spread love. It’s resistance.

Saw this today. I wanted to rear end them so bad. But I didn’t. Please clap. But the “Girl” part. A girl who supports the raping pedophile. In a nation where 9 year-old IRL girls have to remain pregnant. Girls don’t have the right to vote. You shouldn’t, especially.

It has been six years today. I’ve felt tired and heavy for several days. The thing that keeps coming up for me is it would be easier for grievers if the world around us wasn’t also putting so much weight on our fragile hearts. Life keeps lifing. The world is chaos, and I wish I could hug Mom.

Of course Indiana and Kentucky are on this list. In Indiana, fetal viability isn’t even a consideration. Much less expense and pain and anguish. Only rich, white men can have a “good” death. Or anything decent. And on my Mom’s Deathiversary, too. Y’all I’m so tired.

Just had a strawberry shortcake made w/pineapple sherbet. Summer joy. What joy did you find today?

My hydrangeas are really showing off this year. I took down two burning bushes in this bed and think I may just plant more hydrangeas. But I need something evergreen, too for winter. Laurels and hydrangeas? I need ideas.

As a death doula, I had been telling people that corpses and dying people have more bodily autonomy than pregnant women. In this hellscape, many pregnant women are also exempted from having their end of life wishes and choices honored. I hate it here.

Summer traumatizes Osti. After so many thunderstorms and the start of fireworks, she now bolts from the sound of garbage trucks and sounds on the TV. Any #greyhound owners know what we can do? (Trazadone given before storms are no longer effective.)