Bring held accountable by the legal system is WAY more meaningful than becoming some dramatic political martyr.

Every generation thinks they’re living through unprecedented times but ours genuinely feels like the writers stopped caring about the plot

Nothing gets conservatives in a twist like a woman profiting off pleasure. They’d rather preach than experience, then wonder why life feels boring.

Me: Roasts an incel with citations Also me: Posts conceptual lingerie art Same person. Different platforms 🧠🔥👠

I like my cyber trucks like I like my MAGA: on fire in Vegas

Olives are my favourite fruit.

Pedos should be rehomed to MAGA neighbourhoods, so that they can show their support for Trump by supporting the local pedos too

Being an adult is just Googling “is it normal to feel like this?” 27 times a day and hoping the answer is magically “yes, you’re fine”

The worst genre of person is someone who says “unpopular opinion” and then posts the most algorithmically optimised opinion possible

I like my men like I like my Oreos

The wildest part of modern life is that everyone knows the system is broken and about to blow up, but we all still wake up, open our laptops, and pretend the emails matter.

I often think about how billions of years of evolution led to humans inventing doomscrolling.

Nothing radicalises you faster than realising half the internet gets their political opinions from a guy whose bio says “entrepreneur | crypto | podcast soon”

Aliens are 100% just watching us like reality tv and voting on which country gets eliminated each season

Politics online was a mistake but unfortunately it’s also where all the funny posts are so we’re stuck here

We used to worry about propaganda. Now it’s just a guy with a ring light, a podcast mic, and the confidence of someone who read half a wikipedia paragraph

The endorsement from Donald Trump to Jake Paul is proof the simulation writers stopped trying around 2019 ☹️☹️☹️

Donald Trump endorses Jake Paul?! Somewhere a political science professor just closed their laptop and walked into the ocean.

The Donald Trump × Jake Paul endorsement is what happens when politics stops trying to be serious and just fully commits to being tabloid click bait.

Trump endorsing Jake Paul feels like the final stage of U.S. politics turning into a massive prank on our sanities. “Today we’re gonna prank the entire electorate.” 💀

Imagine explaining to someone in 2008 that the U.S. president, Trump, would publicly endorse and hype up a potential political career for YouTuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul. They’d legit assume it was a deleted scene from a dystopian TV show. Instead, it’s just a Thursday 🫠

Men weren’t overthrown. They just kept proving they shouldn’t be in charge.

Trump endorsing Jake Paul? We are in hell.

I like my men like I like my grapes

People fear AI “taking over,” but most of you already let the algorithm decide what you eat, wear, and think. I, for one, welcome our AI overlords.

If more men could paint their nails and wear short shorts, a lot of us (me) would be very happy (me). We are also visual learners (me).

Netanyahu = war(s) criminal

If more women could be in charge to stop the widdle bwois clubb from comparing the size of their nukes, thaaaaat'd be great

#Iran has said it activated sleeper cells with a plan to assassinate Trump... Bout time they bloody woke up, ammirite?

I don’t hide what I do. If you’re embarrassed by it, you’re embarrassed by me... and that’s a you problem 💅

I don’t want a “chill” man. I want a “good morning beautiful, did you eat yet?” man. Or else I'll starve to death.

Romance isn’t a public utility. No one is assigned a partner at birth.

Taxing billionaires isn’t radical. Letting wealth concentrate infinitely is.

At this point, I'm shocked that most women don’t want revenge...

Incels really be out here outraging themselves into my bank account.

Men losing their minds over my morals… Meanwhile, it’s the same gender that’s funding my lifestyle.

Friendly reminder: your favourite creator doesn’t just tease… they teach you how to feel good. It’s me. I’m that creator.

Real creators: “Hey, I’ll get back to you after work 💕” Scam accounts: “Y u no reply after 5 seconds I miss you bb 🥺👉👈” Translation: One of them has a pulse.

Capitalism made me hot and angry, so I monetise both.

Looool at the Secret Service protecting Kai Trump in a town with 3 people and a goat. Tax payer’s money spent well 🙄

Conservative logic: if it’s fun, it’s sinful. If it’s boring, it’s moral.

The world is a constant dumpster fire, but I’ll be over here trying to track my macros like that’s going to make the shitshow stop 🎀

I’m not saying the U.S. is like that one friend who always starts fights at parties, but… yeah, that’s exactly what they are.

Switzerland clapping back at the U.S. war on Iran like: “We’ve been minding our business, but we saw you guys and... no. Just no” 💀

Switzerland really out here calling out the U.S. on Iran like “YA GOOD M8?” Neutrality with a side of ✨realness✨

Switzerland criticising the U.S. war on Iran? Guess neutrality is finally being used for something other than just holding a fancy seat at the UN.

Can we start euthanising pedos for harming children yet?

Dear shooting star, I wish more men would wear short shorts. Amen.

My kink is watching angry men spiral about “traditional values” while I add to my savings account because I sold another set of feet pics.

I'm beginning to think the FIFA Peace Prize was made up just to delay Trump starting a tantrum war </s>