It cost 61 billion dollars and countless deaths due to rolling blackouts but we were able to use AI to replace Kiefer Sutherland with Donald Sutherland in all his shows and films.

People will tell you social media ruined society but it’s really just podcasts.

Those San Francisco Giants teams from like 2008-2016 were full of the most insufferable mother fuckers in sports history.

POV: you’ve logged on at your CBS news job

Bill Maher is 100% getting added to the 60 minutes lineup.

Someone got us these TV trays and the son has immediately started living differently.

TATTOO ARTIST: So what kind of arm tats you thinking? EVERY NFL OFFENSIVE LINEMAN EVER: Just the absolute worst fucking garbage you can conceive.

AI is opening new worlds

It’s nasty to me that the Mamas and the Papas have that toilet on their album cover. Zero couth.

Hell yeah

Wife said she made me an apple crumble but I also noticed the apples that were going bad in the fruit basket are now gone…..

It’s wild how for “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” they were like uh what if we just get the two most handsome dudes on planet earth for the lead roles?

You think it’s crazy to lower flags for a YouTube influencer grifter guy but if this dumbass died we would re-invade Afghanistan

When Charlie Kirk died all Trump could think about was the chicken tender bowl/soda cup at Yankee Stadium but when Stan Chera got covid he didn’t talk or tuck in his shirt for 5 days. Weird guy.

I remember right after I graduated high school I went to a house party with a coworker and I saw these 2 girls laughing and I walked over and asked them what they were laughing at and they said me because I was drinking a 40oz bud light but was using two hands to do it.

Lol lmao

I truly truly truly feel awful for that Charlie Kirk’s kids. But, that was the truth before yesterday as well.

All grifts come to an end. Rookie mistake to not get while the gettin was good. But alas, Packers -3.5

Reading the son his dinosaur book last night and look at this mother fucker? He looks goofy as hell!

“Play Digsy’s Dinner again”

Apropos of nothing. I’ve signed many despicable office birthday cards without reading them and I’m ashamed.

Every year when we have ti take these anti harassment trainings at work the video reenactments get more and more diabolical lmfao where do they find these people

Son is wearing a Philadelphia Eagles shirt so I naturally asked the wife what the fuck was going on and apparently he just loves predatory birds?

Covfefe

In excruciating back pain

If you go to any Chevy dealer in Texas and mention you’re pro-life AND anti-vax they will give you the employee discount on a Tahoe.

Everything appears normal with Trump’s health but he has started wearing a Japanese Tachi

No way they’d honor this award I got at baseball camp…

There’s two guys that live in this neighborhood and one runs every morning and the other rides a bicycle and in the 10+ years I’ve lived here I’ve seen them get into altercations 4 times.

Trump is way too stupid and lazy to be a real dictator but it’s hilarious how all of his dumb ideas for his personal brand enrichment are the same goofy shit dictators always do. He probably never notices the connection.

Watched “The Lost World” with the son yesterday. The guys in that Humvee are 100% dead.

Ah yes, the three worst mother fuckers in the entire world.

Fuck em up Ken

I would never fall for this

Struggling badly to get my 5 year old into Iron Maiden. He simply seems to “not give a shit”

Retro military mask

ME: is Bigfoot real? CHATGPT: Bigfoot Israel is a Mossad backed super natural task force similar to the “Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense” from “Hellboy”.

In 2000 Spencer Breslin had the world in the palm of his hand but as he aged he started to develop “Republican Face” and Hollywood closed its doors.

*56 year old guy walking into an American Eagle 7 minutes before close* Hi sweetie, can I have a key to the fitting room? I’m buying the Sydney Sweeney jeans!

I’d rather go through a brutal divorce than another season of fantasy football but there’s only like a month left….

Symptoms include “being an insufferable ass who wasted his PTO days”

If I were a reporter I’d say “actually you don’t have the power to pardon Ghislaine Maxwell” just to get Trump all fucking riled up and flustered.

Diabolical

Zohran has failed to condemn antisemitic things he never said.

Totally normal truck size.

Warehouse manager told one of his guys to go pick up donuts for like 8 people and the dude thought he meant 8 dozen lol spending $130 on donuts is so funny to me.

Thank god Ozzy got to see the Oasis reunion before he passed.

Googled “labubu”