hit the squock so hard i got that gremular orbosis. got the milk sweat, that slippin cornea. hit that shit so hard my dog levitated two feet off the floor and got a job

best part of not taking your meds for 5 days is being able to cum again. time to hit up the aquarium

saw my reflection in the eye of a sparrow, it was headed west

hey pussy we're gonna go unload our glocks into a rotisserie chicken down the wawa. you want in on this shit?

*six bees in my ass voice*: there's six bees in my ass

kill yourself kill your self kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself kill your

fresh flesh carpentry living jigsaw puzzle meat man missing pieces

used cars, west ennui vehicular hostages suck exhaust rich boy

coming to you live inside your dad i now wait online parasite

chunky piss is here now in kidneys everywhere celebrate your pain

corroborated ethically studied ham pork science will reign

it's earth's haiku week. post/reply in haiku or get moon imprisoned

interviewer: 2 doubloons or a labubu subject: labubu interviewer: absolute power or a labubu subject: (pointing a gun at the interviewer) you will give me both

there's a small, pink man dancing on my grave. he's pink as a grapefruit, probably from all the exercise dancing

the government want you to know. they want you to share the miracle. mix every cleaning chemical you can find into a gatorade bottle and drink it. they need you to know that this is how we make it. this is how we break through.

cutting my tuna with mayo just to feel something

mission impossible: dad reckoning. 1.5 hours of dad looking at burgers on the grill and going mmhmmm i reckon that's done. tom cruise scissor kicks me into space

all five of my thumbs point to the east. i can't control it. it's like a physical metaphor for optimism

look upon my twerks ye mighty and despair; the booty is poppin for thee

"living" in "skin"

building a machine that will end

popping a clutch of horse eggs like jellybeans. gonna hatch in my tummy and give the gut flora something to bet on

sitting calmly at the end of a very long, elaborate rube-goldberg machine. the final piece is a shotgun, the barrel is in my mouth. i'm humming the theme tune from pacific rim

following a beautiful swan into the mist. our oil lamps are flickering and the men are frightened but it has my pocket watch and i need it back

battlefield 6 comes out in a few hours. gamers rise up #johnhaloismypresident

if mclaren don't put some respect on piastri's name i will subject zak brown to The Ten Gauntlets of Xiao Lu

my other car is joe lo truglio

books are a clown car for words

my dog joined a union. not sure what it means

i'm the 8th wheel in a polycule that has rigged every election on earth since mankind developed the census

turducken but it's the cast of friends in alphabetical order

The Buggles conveniently omitted that video put the radio star's entire hometown to the sword

my kingdom's treasury is full of stolen hope. i will never die

i'm not suggesting 1968 band rush killed kennedy, i'm a wolf. i seek only the hunt

objection!, leading question your honour. rush was formed in 1968 to combat the rise of kennedy, permission to treat the witness as turnstile honorable judge anthony fantano: bald

5k posts in 1 month take the challenge meet my dad

post your way out of a 1967 mcdonalds. the grimii are trying to kill you and the clown has forgone mercy

nautical shit is nonsense. poop deck yourself to the polls

i'm obsolete? tell that to horse topology. put that in your fucking article, hoss

hot new craze sweeping the nation, 'Pork Spine'. are teens losing faith in print media? find out tonight under my log amongst the moss

smoking on that vampire yoghurt big g's probiotic

we are an isthmus; time and tide erode our core, erosion to mitosis

post-war era punk band Saudi McDonalds

short form alt, long form heart

h.a.m squad responding to a 10-5 mustard-less glaze incident, 48 dead no injured

big wolf? you got a problem, playboy