Related: do not participate in dumb fights online.

Maybe almost never say anything about how someone looks ever.

If you're not sure what you want, it's almost definitely more sleep.

As you get older, you will increasingly fear losing power, and you will become bitter, defensive, and angry about change. Curiosity, acceptance, and exposure to new people can help with this. But, man are you ever going to get weird about people with purple hair who are not afraid of you.

Whenever someone demands you change who you are, it's useful to ask yourself what they stand to gain from you agreeing to become someone else.

Organizing your email is like alphabetizing your recycling.

Don't call it a "warning" if it's really a *threat*. "Be careful walking to school" is a warning; "I am going to bomb your school" is a threat.

You’ll probably need to listen to at least three episodes of a podcast before you will know if you could *really* love it.

When you get hit with a sock full of coins, it doesn’t really matter that much whether they're pennies or quarters.

Related: people who are *accustomed* to receiving honest feedback are often really good at providing focus on what they specifically need help with, as well as context for why your advice would be useful to them right now. If their big question is "So, do you love it?" you are likely not talking […]

In life, you *are* your options. (Thanks, Dan I.)

*Never* touch a pregnant person unless they specifically asked for it.

Related: always read the room. When entering any new situation, be practically invisible and absolutely non-assertive until you can gauge what happened before you arrived—and how it likely felt.

Related: great listeners ask good questions. "And what year was that?" and "Wow, did that feel really weird at the time?" and "Yikes, was that as terrible as it sounds?" are the sorts of things humans ask one another when they're actively listening to what someone is saying.

Related: knowing whether a problem is something you might be able to figure out on your own is arguably as important as actually "solving" the problem. Just ask anyone who's ever assumed they knew how to fix their own brakes or diagnose a weird lump.

Stop correcting people by immediately telling them what they "*should have said*." You are not helping.

Related: if you don't think you sometimes have *big* feelings about how you feel, please permit me to gently recommend your looking into mindfulness.

Relatedly related: quit buying products because "a portion of the proceeds goes to charity." If you actually care about a cause, give that cause some actual money. Then, you'll know *all* of the proceeds have gone to charity.

Lessons come where you find them. Not necessarily where you looked for them.

Buy some manila file folder jackets, and deploy them for any occasion or destination where random paper kipple is likely to pile up. You know that wad of receipts and boarding passes and theme park maps and whatnot that accumulate every time you travel? Anticipate the wad, and then easily manage […]

Related: if this strikes you as corny or emotionally disordered, then you, my friend, are not noticing enough things. Which also means you're definitely not saying "thank you" enough. So, honestly, who's the real weirdo here?

If you're going to participate in a dumb fight online, do it in the late afternoon. That way, you're less likely to blow a perfectly good working day being all mad. Plus, you'll both tire yourselves out eventually, and maybe you'll do better tomorrow.

Give each of your houseplants a funny name. Then, *use* it. If you have one plant and have no ideas, you may choose to call your friend, "Planty." That's what I do.

Try to always have fresh lemons around.

Related: these are each also true for real people.

Whenever you're considering escalating any relationship, ask yourself whether you'd be okay with getting ten times more of them. In other words, consider whether a lot more of "how they are" is a thing you really want to pursue.

Related: being chased makes feelings a lot stronger.

Sometimes, your brain decides it’s time to play tennis. So, it starts serving ideas and images at you, each of which seems to require immediate, urgent, and committed volleys in return. Just remember: *it’s your damned head*, and it’s fine if you just want to go sit in the bleachers and watch […]

Whenever someone demands you change who you are, it's useful to ask yourself what they stand to gain from you agreeing to become someone else.

Related: most kids can be surprisingly entertained by your making them just a little bit terrified.

Related: if you want a sex thing that you think is a little weird—and your partner is a healthy adult—just tell them. They probably want a weird sex thing too, and if you could just give a special thing to each other, how cool would that be?

Flirt with all elderly women.

Think of every email you send as a pebble. To you, it may seem like a comically small thing—almost non-existent in size and weight. But, to a recipient already holding hundreds of other people's pebbles, receiving even one more tiny pebble is not without a cost.

Any Slack is only as good as the guy who always has the latest post. (And, it's nearly always a guy.)

*Collecting* and *Hoarding* are insanely different things. It's only a "collection" if it's actively displayed and curated. Six unread magazines, on the other hand, is not a collection; it's a recycling project and a personal affliction.

related: this also goes for doors, lids, locks, and relationships.

Without active care and curation, any area in your home will tend to become "storage."

Give kids the opportunity to learn and practice new things in a low-stakes environment. Failure is important in life, but it needn't always be costly or dangerous.

Sometimes we make things to teach, but often we make things to learn.

Write at least a paragraph a day. Of *something*.

Related: there are numerous things in life worse and more damaging than hypocrisy. Including the implicit belief that eventually changing to become a little less of a jerk must be excoriated for its rank "hypocrisy."

Related: a lack of infrastructure is also why nearly all New Year's resolutions fail. Human will is a lot like a new locomotive; it's basically useless without the rails, controls, and signals that make the right thing the easy thing.

People often unintentionally screw up because they don't realize they're thinking more about their next thing than their current thing. In life, your next thing will tend to go way better if you focus first on not screwing up your current thing.

People think about you much less than you either hope or fear.

Whenever you and an acquaintance find yourselves at an impasse, consider that you are probably starring in different movies. Then, ask yourself how you might be looking in *their* movie.

Relatedly related: a *goal* can be a fine thing that describes a desired outcome defined by a positive change that you desire. On the other hand, think of an *intentionality* as the mindful way you'll choose to conduct and focus yourself on the way to a "goal." Or pretty much anything else for […]

Learn the difference between being "busy" versus being *time-constrained*. Time constraint is an immutable fact of adult life; while it can (and should) be managed, time constraint can never be eradicated. Being "busy" should be better understood as a time-limited result of an earlier management […]

Related: this also goes for most other scary personal anecdotes.

Related: Just because an area temporarily has nothing in it does not mean it can be instantly reclaimed for other things. Especially if it's the area in the fridge where only Daddy's seltzer goes. Because nothing else *ever* goes there even when there's "nothing" there.

Try to save some parts of your life to be just for you. Including some special things that you're happy about or are even a little proud of. If your only private things are shameful things, you will become very sad and will eventually despise your own company.