I’m sniffing flowers in my garden today and trying to forget about John.

Turns out “I have a right to defend myself” is not a good legal defense for blowing up my neighbor John’s house (different John than the last one I blew up) out of boredom

I just had a baby with a Vampire.

I was born in a fucking cave but you don’t see me complaining about it

I go through six bottles of dietz & watson horse radish a day. I am NOT addicted. This is HEALTHY!

This Easter I continued my tradition of killing my niece on Friday and then using my Moe Magic to bring her back to life on Sunday. I had her torn apart by dogs this year, made the resurrection a bit tricky but its good to switch things up.

I’ve been cursed to golf.

For April Fools day this year I castrated all my male servants and un-castrated all my eunuchs. The looks on their faces will be priceless

Taking a nature walk and injecting random flora/fauna with my DNA. Will post the results soon.

Just had a dream where my cortisol levels skyrocketed when I heard the news that Rob Schneider was killed in a drone strike. Unsure of the meaning of this one.

Today, I will be pacing back and forth in my kitchen thinking about various contraptions/gadgets/gizmos/doohickeys.

I want a neurodivergent chicken burger for dinner, and I want it NOW

The Moe-clear bomb is in production and is expected to have a yield of 58 gigaflorps per grungus. This will keep the raccoons out of my precious trash for sure

I’m learning more about the Wendigo every day

Elephants are famous for singing. During a safari trip I took in Namibia back in 2017 I saw a herd of elephants break out into a performance of “The Marriage of Figaro” My half brother Crester Ottis was so blown away that he has been confined to a padded cell ever since

I finally got to see the horse I’ve been dreaming of for years

Too many conflicts in my life have been born of pigs who wouldn’t jump.

Sometimes a bitch just forgets about the squishy tomato sub plot.

When did Conner McGregor make you boy pregnant?

I’m gooning until I cry, I’m crying until I cum, and I’m cumming until I goon

But do it be squirtin then?

Scrappy doo is actually real. And that’s concerning.

I DO NOT like seeing my friends be sad! :(

Just learned that there’s no jew.net. My heart is broken

jew.com ?

Go to Sun.com if you want to see the sun.

Just got word that the Pinterest pin has been stolen.

I would never let a girl go on the computer

In 2011 I needed to learn Turtle-Fu to defend myself from a rapist shark.

I sold a $400,000USD bored ape to JD Vance in February 2023, and after the NFT market crash, he nearly killed himself. I should have sold him so many more.

Every morning I wake up as happy as Scrooge on Christmas Day. Then I realize I have to deal with Chiang Kai-shek’s morning slam poetry sessions.

I was the #1 Don Cheadle impersonator in Bismarck, North Dakota from 2003-2017 And before you ask: NO, I did not wear black face I’m just that fucking good

Just found out that I drank a cider with a cube in it

Been thinking about getting into beef photography.

The desert is a great source of mud.

Igbo Moe has been buffering since Wednesday.

Just saw a homeless man eat an entire box of screws. That’s class, proper class

Do you think it would be a good idea if I put a POC into the body of a ferret?

When I was deployed in Iraq, I had 61 confirmed kills, all friendly fire. Thought I’d mention this now in case it’s relevant.

The war in Iran is proving to be a real impediment to my gasoline drinking hobby. Prices are skyrocketing but I’m not getting any less thirsty

Spent most of last night dreaming of moths/moth-adjacent beings. Hoping this doesn’t mean my cancer is back.

Just learned they named a mountain after me up in the land of fake white people.

I can’t stop eating ham #HamFridays #GoyRising #HamEmHigh

Every time a white man kills himself, and Angel earns it’s wings

I have not spoken to my crab wife in months. I fear she may be someone else’s rangoon-to-be now :(

My father told me he knew Fred Flinstone personally and promised me that I could meet him one day. I was heartbroken when I finally learned that he had overdosed ten years earlier.

Really exciting news folks. moeOS is now going to be directly competing with Linux Q2 this year. Big thanks to Igbo Moe for coding an entire operating system by himself in 4 days on a diet of nothing but Monster and Guinness.

I've received lots of feedback and at least 2 mail bombs regarding my previous post, so I am proud to announce that Silly Season is BACK ON!

Silly season is OVER!

Would you roll the Charlie Kirk dice?