hate feeling my libido when i can't do anything about it feels like there's something vile and rotten rooted deep within me that makes me want want to claw off all my skin to try and tear it out (not even in a horny way)

i played balatro for an hour this is a non-insignificant portion of the gaming i have done the past 8 months

how to be patient with myself when i either don't do anything, can't decide what to try doing, or immediately lose all interest in something the moment i start doing it

currently weighing the pros/cons between just using rm2k3, rmvxa, and godot

the only good nixos documentation is pretty lesbians with a hyperfixation btw. there is no documentation problem

bom dia

boa noite

oops another silly internet test aggravated the [REDACTED] personality traits again which then made me sad and upset about my entire existence

"i should voice train more and also try makeup and changing up my wardrobe to maybe try improving my dysphoria" vs "if my (absent) hairline is in my field of vision more than a few moments spread out over the course of the day i immediately start fantasizing about gratuitously violent self-harm"

girl going through just the motions of existence and survival while trying to appreciate the good she has, desperately hoping that any spark of further self-determination will return eventually if things stay "pretty okay" like this for long enough

tried it and tbh it is a bit too much like the franchise that shall not be named for me to take seriously (rn at least) so bwehhhh

i know i joke about it in earnest since i've become a lot more honest to myself about wanting it but bottom surgery is kinda scary and intimidating

i have to wonder if tailscale and/or ipv4 shenanigans are why i have so many issues with this account specifically since coming to brazil

feeling cute and thinking of trying coromon today

bom dia

boa noite

girl who returns from 8 hours of gay PDS jail 1 hour before bed

it is hard to be considerate and not resentful of how sensitive i am when appropriately accommodating myself for it seems more or less next to impossible most of the time without placing a tremendously unreasonable burden on others who aren't fucked up and broken like me

sometimes i yearn to make a shitty jrpgslop rm2k3 game but finish it this time now that [REDACTED] can't happen again

bom dia

claymore labelled "front towards future pussy" strapped to a roomba

shaped charge explosive that just does bottom surgery

cagando o seu cu

adoro qd eu digo alguma coisa doida tal como "meus ouvidos são recheados de porra" q faz a minha esposa facepalmar pq outras pessoas ficam perguntando pra ela se ela me ensina apenas xingamentos mas não eu me ensinei pra krl

I'm in the holy grail war now but my archer servant is just a girl using linux??? help???

how to do anything when my interests and goals shift around so constantly that by the time i manage to actually start doing anything i've lost all interest in that goal or interest for the time being

tive o meu primeiro sonho a noite passada em que tentava falar português

bom dia

someone has their steam deck on the open internet lmao

boa noite

i do not appreciate my most cynical, misanthropic, and horrifying predictions about the world ending up largely correct

how unsurprising would it be to learn that i'm the descendant of purebred southern US white trash

need a small quiet little burrow hole to hide in and ground ourselves when everything is a bit too overstimulating

just combed my hair for an hour straight while hiding in the bathroom and dissociating six ways from sunday

how to calm yourself and feel safe when anything short of total isolation/privacy from others directly or indirectly being able to observe you is anything from barely tolerably to overpoweringly distressing

honestly not sure i even qualify as literate in english tbh

bom dia

boa noite

Update: she's now chilling with her newfound buddy

Gay 🫵

awen toki mi toki Pona e poka pi jan olin meli mi tan ni musi mute

-wake up -take meds -eat breakfast -have no clue what i want to do all day and be anxious about it while mentally loitering the whole time -????? -sleep

um do meus obstáculos mais maiores de falar em outras línguas é que a minha memória operacional é muito pequeno então o tópico da conversa e palavras que eu querer falar concorrem à minha memória limitada

eu gosto de pão de queijo adoro pão de queijo amo pão de queijo eu quero namorar pão de queijo quero beijar pão de queijo quero abraçar pão de queijo quero transar com pão de queijo quero comer pão de queijo quero casar com pão de queijo

bom dia