Maybe he just wants to make Greenland a territory so we can have a white Puerto Rico...

Woke up on the couch with the girl watching "Hot Frosty" and my edible was kicking nicely. Not bad! :) #hotfrosty

Matt Gaetz withdraws? I wonder if this is the first time he's pulled out of a "minor" situation.

Hey guys, now that we're finally going to deport all of them illegals we can all get some of them good fruit picking jobs!

I'm so glad someone else is getting heat for eating pets. I'm tired of having to explain we don't eat them unless they're delicious.

I'm looking forward to several months of tone deaf white people trying to tell black people who's black and who's not. #whitesplaining

2/2 This puzzled him, for he was certain that it had nothing to do with man, television, or elephant, and was most likely an artifact from his time with JD earlier. "Son of a bitch," Donald said. "Did that cocksucker give me the clap?"

1/2 Trump touched his ear, where his boo-boo suddenly appeared during an appearance a couple weeks ago. It didn't hurt then, but he had a ghost pain. A pain... not of loss, but of addition.

Wow... waifu pillows sure have... changed.

The couch sobbed as JD walked away. It didn't mind being the platform for the occasional grunt-n-poke, nor the provider of comfort during a solo session, but as the object of fornication... it somehow felt violated. Wronged. JD would never care, though. It was, like women, an object to be used.

2/2 Donald sighs and then gently grabs JD's arms by the wrists and pulls them apart while turning. He grinds his penis into JD's bellybutton. "My little Vancey-Poo. How could anyone take me away from you?"

1/2 JD cuddles Donald from behind and playfully bites at his ear. "STOP IT, JD! You know that stings!" JD reaches down and cups Trump's mound while he kisses on Donald's eggroll. "You know the only that stings is me. From behind."

I successfully made a pinhole camera and viewed the eclipse. I think that's my big win today, time to go take a nap!

IV: He carefully stepped over the railing, trying not to assault his testicles on the cold steel. He grasped his member, said his Hail Mary, Mother of Trump, and took the final step off the balcony. The disbarment letter floated away in the breeze.

III: . He tied the rope to the railing and slipped the noose around his head. He thought for a moment, then took off his pants... and worked himself into an erection. Slowly, methodically, the only pleasure he had left in this life.

II: HIs life, forever stained by his association with Don, is now officially ruined. "I"m not going back to being a store manager at Home Depot. Not after all of this." He sighed.

I: John Eastman stood on the balcony of his million dollar condo. "It's only a 10 foot drop... It might not work," he said to himself. The letter from the judge was clenched in his hand.

@wpio.bsky.social Welcome to Thunderdome! Wait, that's the other place, maybe?

Unexpected checklist item: contribute to an open source project and have my changes accepted and merged. Hooray! Do I get my Birkenstocks soon?

Work etiquette question: If you shit so loud you're certain the people in the office could hear it, are you supposed to shout "God DAMN!" so they know you are also either embarrassed and/or surprised at your sonorous effluent? Asking for a friend.

Goddammit Rob Schneider, you're ruining my memories of Deuce Bigalow.

The biggest problem I have with incest porn is that the actors rarely look related.

Trent Reznor is just Phil Collins for goth kids.

I just farted and stank myself out of my office. Yuck. It seemed important that I share this with everyone.

A robot attempted to rob a bank, but failed because its battery ran out. The police have no plans to charge the suspect.

Kitties looking at you and giving you a silent meow are sooooo cute. Of course I'll buy you a pack of cigarettes and some beer, little guy.

What if we finally invent fully self-aware general AI and all it wants to do is watch porn?

Let's face it: If telekinesis were real, you know you'd just use it for hands-free masturbation.

The Girl and I were driving to Ojai the other day when we saw a Cybertruck parked on the side of the road. Outside were 3 dudes kicking the shit out of, get this, Elon Musk. The Girl was all "OMG should we stop and help???" and I said "naw, I think those 3 got it handled."

Listening and Reading *Kill the Dog* by @pguyot.bsky.social (yeah, I got the audiobook and the physical book). I flipped to a random page and was greeted with the story about his time with Chow Yun Fat and the following paraphrased thought stood out: How do you start <anything>? Start doing it.

@johnaugust.bsky.social When writers say "write every day," do social media posts count?

> If you can't handle me at my best, you don't deserve me at my worst. #demotivate

Charlie Kirk looks like the sort of dude who has a Bad Dragon collection and keeps one up his butt while he talks to his morons about the evils of gay sex.

Ever notice most cold/darkwave duos are almost always a woman up front and a dude in the back? Or sometimes just two women? I think my *wave taste is basically the same as my taste in porn. Not that I watch porn.

NGL, after seeing a ton of these new Aeropress ads on my fb feed, I can't help but think Fleshlight should make and market an insert so the redpills can get their caffeine and their nut in the same device. No offense to aeropress; I love mine. I just don't *love* it.