Time for a break? Take just five minutes to clean up a flat surface (desk, counter, table, shelf, etc.) within sight. It'll help make things feel a little less chaotic.

Never underestimate the smug sense of self-satisfaction you can get by putting a load of clean, dry dishes or laundry away immediately after they’re done. Unstoppable. Indomitable. Can’t tell me shit. I could rule the world. Try it.

Feeling exhausted, hopeless, or powerless due to [gestures wildly at everything]? Step away from the news and exert a little control over your immediate environment. Clear off a counter. Wash a couple of dishes. Put away some laundry. It's a great way to interrupt the spiraling.

What household task can you half-ass today so it’s maybe just a little bit better than it was? Giving yourself permission to not do a perfect job is really freeing. Give it a try if you can!

Basically every author you know (including me!) has had their copyrighted work stolen by Meta to train their AI. The multi-billion dollar tech company could have legally licensed books and papers, but they stole them instead because it was cheaper and easier. www.theatlantic.com/technology/a...

Do you have a load of laundry in the washer that needs to go in the dryer? Go do that. (If it’s been a while, run it through a quick wash cycle again with 1/2 the detergent and 1/2 a cup of white vinegar, if you have it. The vinegar smell doesn’t survive the dryer and kills the musty smell.)

Being OK with doing tasks a little at a time without pressure to complete everything often results in more getting done overall, which is a nice little bonus! Plus you don't have the pressure or guilt you may have associated with cleaning your whole life.

This is WAY more common than you'd think. Lots of people having breakthroughs outside of therapy when they realize how much their upbringing fucked with how they approach (or don't approach) housework. Moved out? Good news! You can clean how you want. Your home, your rules. Or lack thereof.

Usually, having the household task done, even imperfectly, is infinitely better than having it done "right." This applies both to tasks you do yourself or tasks someone else in your household does (but not the way you'd do it). Is the outcome an improvement over the starting point? Awesome.

Have you reached the point where literally anything is better than marinating in the constant horrors of current existence by doomscrolling through bad news all day? Good news! Taking a few minutes to do some dishes, pick up some clutter, or put away laundry qualifies as literally anything!

Have you reached the point where literally anything is better than marinating in the constant horrors of current existence by doomscrolling through bad news all day? Good news! Taking a few minutes to do some dishes, pick up some clutter, or put away laundry qualifies as literally anything!

I highly recommend taking a picture of a messy spot in your home before you clean it, and then taking another one after it’s clean. Having tangible proof that you accomplished something is so helpful, plus it reminds you that you can get it back to that state when it gets messy again.

I just took a load of laundry out of the dryer as soon as it finished and then immediately folded everything and put it away. Nobody can tell me shit today. I feel like a superhero.

When it comes to housework: -“Good enough” is fine -Perfection is a trap -It’s OK if you’re not up to trying your best -Half-assing things is still progress -There’s nothing wrong with getting started and then stopping when you need to -Letting go of the “right way” to do something can free you

I love this framing.

And just a reminder: not all advice will work for everyone! Neurodivergent people can have different challenges than other people with the same neurodivergence. Life circumstances vary wildly! I try to offer advice that’s adaptable enough for many people. Sometimes it won’t work for you.

Domestic tasks are incredibly annoying because they’re cyclical. You do them, time elapses, and then you have to do them AGAIN. It sucks. Switching your mindset to accept this cycle instead of fighting it can help you let go of some of the frustration and resentment that comes with housework.

Do you have something on your to-do list that’s been hanging over your head for ages and will take less than 10–20 minutes to do? Doing it, crossing it off, and not having to think about it anymore will feel SO good. Try it! (Yes, even if you may need to do it again in the future.)

People are sometimes surprised I support outsourcing domestic labor if you can. My goal isn’t to make you clean your own house, it’s to help you get a clean house without sacrificing your mental or physical health. As long as everyone is treated and paid fairly, I’m in favor. Get your time back.

My most important message re: housework is that if you have a way to make it easier for yourself, do that, even if it’s not the way it’s “supposed” to be done. We have so much judgment and morality around household tasks and it just doesn’t make sense.

If it gets done, and it gets done in a way that works in favor of your mental health instead of against it, that’s the goal! However that gets accomplished is fine! It doesn’t make sense to torment yourself doing something you hate or find difficult when a way exists that you don’t have to.

This is absolutely not cheating! It’s not inherently more virtuous to do your own laundry when you have an alternative that fits your life and budget. There are many ways to make sure household tasks get done, and outsourcing is a completely acceptable and logical solution.

Did you know there’s a whole spectrum of stuff in between “spend all weekend cleaning your house” and “don’t do anything at all because it’s so overwhelming”? Wipe down one counter. Put away half a load of laundry. Vacuum one room. You can do a little bit, and it helps! And then you can stop!

Today’s challenge: Identify an invisible corner* and set a 5-minute timer to tackle whatever you can in that time. (*Invisible corner: any collection of random stuff in a weird place that’s been there so long that you don’t even register it anymore when you look at it)

Today's challenge: Every time you start spinning out in panic from reading the news or catching up on social media, put down the phone and spend 5 min. cleaning up/picking up/tidying/somehow improving your home environment. And then notice how much of a difference your small effort can make.

Need to step away from today's fresh new horrors? Maybe you have some dishes or laundry to do? A flat surface to clear off? Floors to vacuum while you zone out to a playlist or audiobook? Taking care of yourself and your immediate environment will help keep you from succumbing to the despair.

If I open one more program I need to do my job and I’m suddenly being forced to deal with AI taking over every blank text field so I can’t write, paste, or edit, I can’t be held responsible for my actions. And none of the instructions to disable it work, even the workarounds. This is infuriating.

Need some art AND want to support an incredibly talented Black artist this BHM? Nani’s photography is vibrant, breathtakingly beautiful, and full of life — and she’s a delight personally, too! Class up your walls with her work.

What have you done today to channel your anxiety about [gestures wildly at everything]? Me? I: -Made a fancy pour over coffee in my favorite mug -Cleaned my desk, which was long overdue -Called both my senators and my rep (and added it as a daily reminder in my calendar)

Panic and despair without an outlet can be self-destructive. Interrupt the doom spiral: -Do 1 self-indulgent thing that makes you feel happy or content. -Do 1 thing to make your home environment more calm or comfortable. -Do 1 thing to help your community and people in it. Repeat as needed.

If you feel guilty about stepping away from the news, make the last site you go to before putting the phone down the homepage of a local food pantry. Donate a couple of bucks, whatever you can spare. That will make an immediate, tangible difference in the lives of real people in your community.

It’s OK—good, even!—to step away from the onslaught of panic-inducing news and focus on your own little world for a bit. If you need to, put the phone down. Shut the laptop. Put on a good playlist and channel your energy into your to-do list. Do the dishes. Scrub the bathroom. Fold some laundry.

Is your space full of invisible corners? You know, those collections of stuff that have accumulated in one spot that you just kind of don’t see anymore? Try chipping away at your invisible corners a few things at a time. You don’t need to tackle the entire thing, but start making a dent. It helps!

If the extent of your mess has you convinced it’s impossible to deal with and you don’t know where to begin, try working in 5s: -5 minutes picking up, OR -5 items put away, OR -5 dishes/pieces of laundry/etc. It may seem too small to matter, but a short, low-effort task can help you get started.

I mentioned supporting trans writers/artists/creators in my last post. I’d like to make that easy for others to do — please drop links for Patreons, newsletters, etc. with a little intro to what you create so people can find you. Directly supporting trans creators right now is meaningful action.

If the firehose of doom is knocking you down, today, try doing: 1 thing to improve your own comfort/happiness (let yourself have something good) 1 thing to improve your immediate environment (clear your space a little) 1 thing to support your community (donate, support, amplify, speak out)

For anyone existing in a depression nest: If you can, try clearing off the nearest flat surface a little (nightstand, coffee table, etc.) and changing your clothes. It’ll make it a little nicer when you cocoon back up in bed or on the couch and leave less to deal with when this heavy weight eases up

Do any other authors ever zoom in on people’s pictures of bookshelves just on the off chance you might see one of your books there? (I never see my books, but I do love seeing what people read and how they organize their books.)

Domestic labor (cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc.) is often outsourced for a variety of reasons: lack of time, ability, or desire, etc. And it costs to outsource — you trade money for labor, just like you trade labor for money at your job. If the labor is worth the cost to you, that’s fine!

“Why don’t they just…” is such a common response when it comes to people not having clean homes, and it always results from the person saying it failing to understand their experiences aren’t universal. People have different upbringings, education, and limitations.

Want all the UfYH good stuff in a tangible format? I have books! (Well, a book and a journal.) Get Unf*ck Your Habitat: You’re Better than Your Mess and/or Cleaning Sucks wherever you buy books — like your local bookshop, if you can! www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/get-the-book/

Guess I should feel flattered that my words from 2014 (which were then published in my 2017 book and repeatedly used in my social media from 2015–2022) resonated so deeply with someone that they’ve been using them as part of their brand in their publicity since 2020. Stings a little, though!

If you're committing to dealing with your mess in 2025, make sure you're being realistic about what your brain, body, and circumstances allow, so you can work with the life you actually have and set yourself up for success. www.patreon.com/posts/making...

I didn’t draft this post as carefully as usual, so the longstanding UfYH caveats apply: -Do what you can and stop when you need to. -“All” sometimes means “some” or “a few.” -Anything you accomplish is a win, no matter how small. -There is no “right” way, just the way that works for you.

Did you have every intention of starting the new year with a clean house but then life lifed and now it’s not an attainable goal? Focus on one thing: put all the laundry away, do all the dishes, clear off the dining table of doom, vacuum the floors — pick one and do it to the best of your ability.

Lost in the weird timeless abyss we’re currently in? Jealous of those who can be lost in time because your life is continuing as usual? Either way, try wresting back a little control of your environment by clearing off one flat surface that’s become overrun with stuff that doesn’t belong there.

Feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff around you? Without thinking too hard about it, take 5 things that aren’t where they belong and put them away/find a place for them/get rid of them, if appropriate. Just 5 things. Do it again later if you can.

Since I started doing this, people have asked why anyone should take my advice if I’m a self-proclaimed messy person. It’s hard to give advice from a perspective you’ve never experienced. A naturally tidy person won’t approach the problem the same. They don’t really comprehend the roadblocks.

I’m consistently furious that emptying the dishwasher takes under four minutes (I’ve timed it). Turns out, the shit we put off as long as possible usually isn’t that time-consuming or difficult to complete. I will absolutely continue to avoid emptying the dishwasher, having learned nothing.

Whatever mess situation you have going on in your home, I promise, other people have it, too. The depression nest, the floordrobe, the random boxes that have come with you unopened through multiple moves, the closet/room you never open the door to, all of it.