The Tesla Cybertruck looks like a stainless steel door stop

Idk if you’ve seen the whole video. It’s comedy gold. youtu.be/CMkYw4dp_NI?...

Innocent people don’t panic and pull the plug on their accounts the moment shit gets real. That’s what rats do when the basement floods

Believed I was past the point where some random digital predator could get under my skin. Turns out, some wounds don't need to be fresh to still fucking hurt

We’ve rightly dragged men for scaring the hoes, but it seems we need to be more inclusive, because what the heck is this?!?

Nothing says “shoot your shot” like having a dead spouse. Not the type to expose messages or put people on blast, but she earned her moment.

Your family tree must be a wreath. No other explanation for how someone so spineless could exist without genetic reinforcement.

I asked my kid what they wanted for dinner and they said “food.” This is the leadership we need in the world.

Alabama’s finest @crazyafbutcute.bsky.social is out here treating social media like her own personal casting couch, and I, for one, am sick of the performance. Apologies to the fine people of Alabama. I’m sorry you have to claim this one. I know this is not a reflection of your entire state.

As a Canadian, I am committed to supporting homegrown products. That said, what’s the punishment for finishing the American-made Simply Orange already in my fridge? Do I drink it or hold a small, polite ceremony and pour it down the drain?

J.T. Miller’s comment on Jim Rutherford’s remarks about the rift between him and Elias Pettersson “I don’t have one”

I love how both Miller and Hronek hinted in their interviews today that the media was blowing things out of proportion or « interpreting » things. And then the team plays horribly. But sure, it’s the media and it’s the fans. It cannot be the team, there is no team. #Canucks

Bruce there it is Bruce there it is #Canucks

This is going well. #Canucks

Take all the shots at me you want, but you come for my kid? You just volunteered for a one-way ticket to regret, you pathetic waste of oxygen. Touch my daughter with your bullshit again and I’ll personally deliver your ass to karma’s doorstep.

We were watching CBC news and there was a Canucks segment with Tej and I said to my partner and her mom that I’m not deep into Canucks Twitter but I know who the biggest douches are. “He’s an optometrist!” like that’s supposed to sound like an insult lol

Hopefully this W breathes some life back into the #Canucks now

Brutal #Canucks

Wild how a dude pulling in $10 million is out here throwing tantrums like a toddler who lost his sippy cup. Can the #Canucks just pack up Miller and Pettersson, slap a "fragile" sticker on the box, and ship 'em both out already?

Now imagine chasing those with a refreshing cup of flaming hot Mountain Dew

Imagine waking up, craving a bold morning coffee, and instead cramming COFFEE-FLAVORED DORITOS into your face at 6am. We are truly living in the darkest timeline.

Took my kid to see Taylor Swift and I came out looking like I stole the bracelet-making inventory from a camp arts and crafts table

Mike Tyson's showing up to box at 10:30 PM like a Gen Z starting their day. Meanwhile some of you are in your 20s crying about bedtime like a preschooler who missed their nap

We may not agree about politics or religion,,, but we can all agree that we want Mike Tyson to knock out Jake Paul

Are we watching the Tyson/Paul spectacle? Yes. Are we proud of it? No.

This kind of content is what makes the internet worth it.

Not everyone can agree on stuff like politics and religion, but everyone can agree that they all want to see Jake Paul get knocked out tonight

Finally left X because peer pressure looks good on me.