Damn… Can’t listen to Nicki no more. Shorty got BARS too 🤦🏾‍♂️

This white girl getting THE SHIT beat out of her. Got damn!

I need Bluesky to implement a filter cause it’s just some shit I really don’t wanna see.

I be getting notifications about all these old white men dying but every time, ITS THE WRONG OLD WHITE MAN!!

I’m calling out of work and having a massive cookout for all black people! We finna celebrate that shit!

Hol up… so it’s dudes out here who be watching porn with other niggas!? That’s fucking weird, but hey… let me stay in my lane.

Don’t know who need to hear this but… You ain’t get dickmatized. You just bat shit crazy.

Why the hell is McDonalds always slow as fuck!?

So two dudes talking at work. Person A: “I’m bout to have to pay this girl to get to her OnlyFans.” Person B: “Why? Porn is free.”

Please don’t call me and having nothing to say. I ain’t the “I was just calling cause I ain’t heard from you” type.

Just watched some of the Diddy doc on Netflix and I’ve always said Diddy killed Biggie and Pac. I can’t wait til the day it’s proven though!

I got at least 3 houses to hit for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. And that don’t include my own house!

My Thanksgiving plate: Mac n cheese Ham Candied yams Collard greens Apple pie Sweet Potato My wife All them getting gobbled the fuck up!

So at my brothers party, a woman tells my uncle “You look familiar”. My auntie eyes open wide. Me:

Did yall vote today? 👀

It’s some elections tomorrow. Make sure yall go vote. And remember this when you go to the polls… FUCK DONALD TRUMP!!

So… my team gets a new boss. After a week, he’s fired 😂😂😂

Let me be real clear… Any time i see a story about Disney and another service splitting, i know it’s Disney’s fault. Disney aint shit but a big ass money grab.

Candy corn 🚮

BREAKING: Democrats just tried to pass a standalone bill to fund WIC & SNAP to make sure families don't go hungry during the Republican shutdown. Republicans BLOCKED it. So Trump won't use emergency funds to keep SNAP running, and Republicans won't let any bills pass. Shameful.

Ime… Call her and beg like Keith Sweat RIGHT NOW!!

😂😂😂😂 This gon be good lol

If we all got email accounts, why do we still get mail in a mailbox? That’s seems pretty stupid and redundant to me.

Time to load the clips. Where I’m from (DC in the 90s), Halloween is an opportunity for you to get got. And that won’t be happening.

I don’t put in PTO requests. I put in “I ain’t gon be here” notices. I asking for shit lol.

As a person who never had an aspiration to be married, I love being married to my wife. She my nigga dawg! Like… we get to watch shows/movies together, laugh together, have alone time in the same house, AND I get to grab her booty and lick her face whenever I want! Yea dawg… marriage life sweet!

Listen here…if yall don’t get out and vote on these elections coming up, leave me the fuck alone cause you part of the real problems that’s raising hell in everyone else’s lives. Take yo ass to them damn polls!!!

I’m a villain connoisseur… My favorites: 1. Voldemort 2. The Joker (Heath Ledger) 3. Thanos 4. Scar 5. Jafar 6. Darth Vader 7. T-1000 8. Michael Myers 9. Dr. Evil 10. Magneto

I can’t deal w/ no more of my friends passing away. So I needed that good news!

My best friend been in Jamaica since last week. The hurricane hit, she still there, and I couldn’t get in contact with her. Well…. She just called me 15 minutes ago and told me she was good. Amen amen!!! 🙏🏾

If you tell me Star Wars is better than Harry Potter, we fighting then I’m writing a whole dissertation on why you crazy as hell.

Welp.. I’m bout to take a nap in my car. I’ll be back in the office in about 2 hours lol.

1. Hey Arnold 2. Rugrats 3. Rocket Power 4. Every other cartoon

Hey Arnold is the greatest cartoon ever made. FYI.

If yall ain’t watched it, yall need to see The Rainmaker. That show good as fuck!

Dawg WTF! It’s 1 PM EST. Save that shit for when I ain’t on this app. Got damn smh.

Man we been seeing a bunch of deaths being announced. And RIP to those folks that have passed on to the ancestors. BUT…. I can’t help but get pissed every time the announcement isn’t about that one guy. Yall know who I’m talking bout.

Homecoming this week! The Bruhz finna be OWT! Let’s get it. 🐶

I don’t spend a lot of money. Everywhere I go, I make sure I get rewards points. I will negotiate the price of a 7-Eleven Slurpee. I’ll hit cancel on a streaming subscription just because I know they gon offer me a cheaper price before I cancel. Am I cheap? OR…. Am I smart? You decide lol.

The first step of rehabilitation is acceptance. I’m accepting the fact that I’m cheap. Any time I wanna buy something, I don’t. I just put the money I was gon spend in another account 😂.

And my wife is a “call my husband” type of woman. If she call me, she already got bail money on her.

Now they talking bout marriage in the office and done ask me when I knew I was gon get married. I knew I was gon get married when I looked at my wife in the eyes and told her “I’ll kill a nigga over you and sleep peacefully the same night”. Good ppl, please don’t play wit w/ my wife lol.

The Gen Xers talking bout “Yea I got this environment set up at home so I can run tests on stuff for when I come to work in the morning.” Me (a Millennial): So you leave work to go home…and work!? Them: It’s practice. Me: They better send me to a paid training or something. Cmon Gen X bruh…

Had to go ahead and tell the Gen Xers “Yall treat work like a family structure. Your boss ain’t your Daddy. You can respectfully say ‘no’ sometimes.” They gon say “That’s the problem with the new generations. No respect for the hierarchy”. To where I responded w/ “No. We just got boundaries.”

After having a convo at work, I can say Gen X hates us Millennials lol. They are consistently confused and shocked when Millennials say “I’m not doing that”.

Let’s enjoy the day off. And remember, Christopher Columbus ain’t shit!

If a new person interact with me on here, just know I’m definitely going to the media section of your profile first.

Nope

Tomorrow is Indigenous Peoples Day. Make sure you tell the kids it’s called that because white men lied to us for centuries about a doofus who aint know where he was going.

If you drive in the left lane, you gotta go vroom vroom. If you gon pitty pat, GET TF OVER!!!