My hilarious friend Joey Bland was so gracious to ask me to compete on his amazing podcast. It’s quick and fun and you might learn something?? podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...

Got this in the mail and it took me TOO LONG to realize it was NOT a turkey in a bikini

good morning!

my kid: what’s that? me: pain medicine my kid: medicine… THAT GIVES YOU PAIN???

this year’s pumpkins 🎃

Starting the new season of British Bake Off, and I was not emotionally prepared for the amount of hands slapping oozing cake situations I witnessed in that first episode

Attempting to finally finish Lorelei and the Laser Eyes (damn it’s a good game) Come hang and help figure out these damn puzzles at twitch.tv/brookebreit

Pro acting tip: make sure you give them a Bigfoot sighting thumbnail shot in your audition. They’ll be like WHO IS SHE

Tried making “shortbread spoons” It went “ok”

If you haven’t already, please wishlist The Jackbox Party Pack 11 on Steam!

Very excited to play a game that looks VERY WEIRD. Come hang out and play Blippo+ with me Twitch.tv/brookebreit

hey we can’t really deal with this right now, could this wait?

I was at a school tour this weekend where during a large presentation, the computer projecting a slideshow of stats and school pics accidentally started sharing all of the personal photos of the person who owned the laptop and it was like an early 2000s comedy fever dream and INCREDIBLE

Tag yourself

I put on the tiniest touch of makeup my kids: WHY IS THIS ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS AND WHEN WILL YOU BE BACK BECAUSE WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT

playing hades 2 over at twitch.tv/brookebreit also I will be VERY BAD AT IT until I GET GOOD but that is THE WAY

I’m ready to fall in love again

Bold move for #Survivor to answer the question “what if snakes were also sperm?” These snake props are WILD

y’all I made apple cake

shoutout to everyone entering their warty goblin pumpkin era

The first 5 min of #RHOSLC is giving Blair Witch. If this season doesn’t end with someone standing eerily facing a corner then what are we doing here.

12-14 middle school science VHS tapes why did my child bring them home? because that shit was free (we do not have a VHS player)

oh hi

the official lil’ treat of the hellscape ™️

Someone in this house figured out how to fix our busted Xbox so their child could download silksong on a day when we have nothing to do (It’s me. I’m a hero)

Petition to get The Mocktails on the next season of The White Lotus

If you weren’t at the Jackbox stage at #PAXWest then you just missed a game of Roomerang where the players repeatedly voted out a 6 year old making him the HERO

Last day of #PAXWest ! Come by the Jackbox Stage in Summit and say hi! (50% chance my glasses will be STEAMY)

Also I was interviewed by a puppet. Truly a banner day #PAXWest2025

Great news today I saw a dog in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 cosplay

hey, treat yourself (I want it to just fucking drop like a soda)

Come by and say hi!!!

really great name for a 90s sitcom about a free-spirited landlord who inherited an apartment complex but her true passion is contact improv

Ok maybe we actually do finish Lorelei and the Laser Eyes tonight??? We finally got the damn clock clue so let’s gooooo Twitch.tv/brookebreit

nbd but a doctor put their fingers in my nose like I was a bowling ball while examining my eyes today

help my brain. I distinctly remember a comedy sketch/digital short about the Johnny cash/rick rubin recording sessions. It was audio only with some still images maybe?? I can’t find it anywhere. Anyone else remember this???

Radioactive shrimp? I think you mean The Incredible Shrump ™️

I used to have a mug from a thrift shop that had the name of a some random college with the tag line “takes women seriously” and goddamn I miss that mug

show me a more iconic duo no don’t I’m clearly good over here

Once again, big congrats to any parents who “have their shit together” enough to get a first day of school pic Couldn’t be us

After making some toast for my kids this morning, one of them said, “thanks so much, now why don’t you get yourself some toast” in the same tone as if they had thrown some quarters on the table, winked, and said “and now why don’t you get something nice for yourself”

As I promised myself and a few others, I’m going to try to finish Lorelei and the Laser Eyes tonight. Come by and hang out and help me with the puzzles and the MATH Twitch.tv/brookebreit

Day instantly made better by purchasing this fine gentleman

HYPE

Excited to go see Twenty-Sided Tavern tonight! But maybe not as excited as my kids were when they were promised GIANT FOAM DICE

me: wild that oasis is touring again my husband: why me: they had a huge falling out years ago husband: oasis? me: yeah the brothers weren’t talking husband: OASIS IS BROTHERS? me: OK I THOUGHT WE WERE OPERATING ON THE SAME PAGE HERE I NEED A MINUTE

my local Walgreens has Dolores Abernathy action figures so it seems like these violent delights can be found at the corner of happy and healthy

My 9yo pitching me her new book idea: Ok, so it’s about a werewolf cheerleader who doesn’t find out she’s a werewolf until halfway through the book when she wakes up during a full moon and says “oh yeah, this makes sense, I’ve always had the urge to howl”

hi I have not streamed in one million years so let’s play TOEM! Twitch.tv/brookebreit Come hang out ❤️

letting people cook = good being cooked = bad kissing the cook = illegal unless consensual and it has to be verbal and not just reading the apron