Happy Resident Evil Day to all who celebrate

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a lady clown

Abraham LinkedIn

Me: I’m currently obsessed with jasmine rice. Coworkers: Who is Jasmine Rice?

Ever eat a banana in a hot dog bun?

Dear diary. The AI told me I had a great idea today. …crushed it.

In my mind Panda Express is healthier than McDonalds and Maria cookies are 1 calorie each

My dog just farted when he jumped on the bed

Megyn Kelly flogging herself after catching her foot inadvertently tapping to NUEVAYoL

Why is America so obsessed with Frankenstein at this moment?

Something about ketchup that comes from a packet that excites me.

My brain is so broken that when Alex Warren was performing at the Grammy’s I thought “it’s the song from the Reminders of Him trailer!”

Gex: Enter the Gecko (1998) youtu.be/MEOffa2N27w?...

Ok Jessie Buckley, what’s your speech gonna be

Some new movie is out? Starring an AI actress??? It’s called MELANIA??????

*Frozen Ghost voice* “I’m cold.”

Live feed from the Board of Peace

Anyone re-editing the trailer for Song Sung Blue with footage from Saving Silverman?

Move over Susan Lucci, you’ve been replaced with Dianne Warren

This is Park Chan-wook erasure

Oh? Is there a Mrs. Beast?

Shit. I’m already down $5000 on my Golden Globes picks on Polymarket

Very happy the unhinged T-Mobile ads with Zoe Salaña, Druski and Jeff Bridges are still playing after the holidays

Can’t decide which one to buy

If I had to guess what this image was promoting I’d say “90’s Anne Rice Vampire Adaptation”

Being humbled at work by having to create emails that work across different mail clients without any sort of templating/design service.

Remind me what happened after the US captured Saddam Hussein? Everything worked out perfectly there, right?

Between Noah & The Whale in Superman and Wolf Parade in Heated rivalry, it seems the time has finally come to those of us with Rdio subscriptions in the early 2010’s

As is tradition, when the clock strikes midnight, cover yourself in a blanket and eat 12 Chicken McNuggets for good luck. Sauces are optional.

Google Translate is making up words. “Snooms”???

Toruk Makto < Lisan al-Gaib

And here I thought the Sony PS store had some integrity

TikTok is so weird. A video of a guy making a pool trick shot came up and I went from “Oh let’s watch this” to “No! click away now! Before your entire feed turns into pool videos!”

How will I know how much money I spent on my utilities without an LADWP Wrapped?

Avatar Fire & Ash getting a Box Office Achievement nomination before its first box office receipts have returned is sus

Amazon really makes it difficult to return gifts considering ‘tis the season

Tonight, as I ALWAYS DO, I stood up in my crowded AMC theatre to recite the ICONIC Nicole Kidman monologue for all of my fellow patrons’ ENJOYMENT! Imagine how AGHAST I was to discover that they shortened the original ad! Completely throwing me off script and making me look like a FOOL!

Gabby better explain these plot holes in dollhouse movie or im shutting it off

I didn’t know they had Songs of the Summer in the wintertime but this new Ice Spice SpongeBob song…

How long have you been banana?

“Don’t Bother” by Shakira is the precursor to the Cool Girl monologue from Gone Girl

Worried that Justice Smith is getting typecast as a sorcerer

I could see Mia Goth and Cole Escola playing siblings

Me, anytime they say “finger buns” on GBBO

TikTok really is the tool of the devil if it has the power to get the Jet2Holiday song stuck in your head

“He’s got the Midas touch. But he touched it too much! Hey Goldmember. Hey Goldmember!” - Beyoncé

Seated for Shelby Oaks in a theater all to myself

The Floor is the best show on tv

Why am I just learning about squeaky bum time?

Halloween costume idea: Bosch Spice