mtg be so annoying sometimes because you’d have normal rules and then someone pulls that odd card with weird rules in some obscure set that goes “start a circle jerk and the first to cum loses 10 life”

my personal problem with playing physical MTG is that it requires a certain level of cognitive effort that’s more than I can muster and it makes the social activity aspect very much at the bottom of my priorities

someone once told me that he’s going to have me on a sling and fucked by a train until I’m crying and pissing myself and I didn’t even know that was possible but I’m just waiting for when that day comes

fuuuuuck sobriety goddamn

me @ 15 : wish I could get bigger me @ 38 : no wait stop

soooo like does the JFF conference have tech talks on how to improve their UI when viewing from a desktop browser?

not having been dicked down in a year i can handle but coupled with being sober this long is making me feral and im obviously too anxious and insecure to go out hooking up so yea I’m like hella fucking stressed

goonscrolling

new neighbor next door is a married dilf 🥵

just wanna spend a weekend on popperbating on psychedelics but i can’t ugh

i wonder how bathhouses were like before smartphones

been feeling dysmorphic lately and I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been sober for way too long without psycho blasting my mind to high heavens

yeah i need more soft core porn scenes with David Harbour. Pass the meat.

need a train of thick viltrumites dilf run through me 😩

in the mood to get dicked down by someone who looks like him

age gap discourse with straights is so silly because because some gays be getting stretched out by a 55 year old John Goodman lookalike at 19 (ie me) if everyone is of legal age, just have fun

if you retweet scat/blood (especially without the proper label) that’s an immediate straight block from me

sad cock friday

they’re not wrong when they say porn drives the tech industry because we be living in times where we getting god angles of our friends spread eagle jerking off or gagging on a salami like your face is right next to them in ASMR 8k definition

if I had the power of telepathy I’d just make a hot dude around me get hard and leak precum non-stop They won’t even nut - it’d just be endlessly riding on the edge and just soaking through their briefs

twin telepathy challenge both orgasm and nut balls deep in me at the same time

pullout

training for a marathon

free skit idea for SNL : parody of two sweaty fat dudes playing MTG w/ tension building slow mo, macro shots with Reznor soundtrack à la “Challengers”/“Heated Rivalry”

so Cameo let’s you book actors to do custom content? Need to book David Habour to do a 6-7 min poppers coaching sesh

hotel zoso just seems to have the most uncomfortable layout. it just looks like the back of an industrial parking area.

been doing more butt stuff and I’m starting to get the appeal of the difference between being stretched out vs using a prostate massager but now I need that feeling coming from a 350lb+ giant using his body weight and gravity doing all the work

best part of tech conferences? big chunky meaty hogs

never having been in a relationship and close to hitting 40 at this point I think I’m too scared to even try

yes I love that we have more hardcore Asian bear porn in 2026 but now I need the overlap of western bear porn stars crossing over and piledriving these Asian bears/cubs with poppers play my needs are specificccccc

oh please do

if I had a pup name Pup Debt 😩

phone sex is a lost art of the 90s/early 2000 Netmeeting era and we need to make the most of that with today’s tech

need a couch like this

using AI to push medical advances : good using AI to manipulate human behaviors to generate shitty engagement content : bad

my workplace has private showers and I can’t stop thinking about this 6’5 bear who works in my building pounding me out to start my morning

just waiting for the news headline where cops are fighting against ICE

hot showers is my therapy

ready

would rather not have shit escalate and instead have the world come together because you know I’d still like to revisit New Orleans someday and also get high and dicked down in the desert in Palm Springs and not worry about all this

I’ve been on a consistent roll of working out and everything else - sleep schedule, prepping food just naturally falls in place Along with 9-5, it’s already 10pm How do people have kids or a social life? I can barely even have a weekend to myself just doing nothing getting high and cranking it

missed opportunity from Reznor to go “I wanna stroke you from the inside” to really take his lyrics to the next level

Pound Meat Metamorphosis

working out isn’t enough i need to get folded and get pounded inside out by a train like the compact sack of fuckmeat i’m built to be

considering how men are so horny and needs to subset everything to nut to, I’m surprised there’s no healthy “gainer” content where it’s just big dudes eating super healthy spreads because you can still get fat while eating actual foods instead of hyper processed trash

like a steamed ham

manifesting this for myself in 2026

first of 2026

one time while on acid, i saw a bearded redhead with patches of white in his beard and it literally looked like cum dripping from his beard and that shit just permanently re-wired my brain because I haven’t looked at bearded redheads the same again