If a king sleeps on a king bed, and a queen sleeps on a queen bed. What does a prince sleep on? An heir bed.

Had a blast with a massive Super Bowl party yesterday! Good drinks , food and most of all great company.

Did you hear the machine at the coin mint factory suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It just doesn’t make any cents.

Shower beers taste better. It’s science.

I always thought orthopedic shoes were overrated. But I stand corrected.

Still surreal to have the Cyclones Players Player of the Year named after me. Especially with the amazing humans that have won the award. Congrats Neil , well deserved

I told my doctor I kept hearing this buzzing sound. She said it’s just a bug that’s going around.

I took someone else’s drink at the cafe yesterday, but I couldn’t finish it. It just wasn’t my cup of tea.

You know you are getting old when you start to get excited about cleaning products

Apparently, keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain. Must be all the indoor fins.

Happy hump day 🍑, or lower back depending on how bad you are at it.

Every exercise is a lower back exercise when you do it wrong

What’s a coffee’s favorite workout? The French press.

I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s also terrible.

Why is it that I can remember the words to a song I haven’t heard in a decade yet can’t remember why I walked into a room?

Lil morning jog in a beautiful part of the world

Rule no. 8598643 for happiness Ignore your problems just the way you ignored these numbers.

I was gunna tell you all a joke about a girl who only eats plants. But you probably never heard of herbivore.

Wednesday workout. Glute heavy.

Rage bait tips - like all your own texts during an argument

Siri kept calling me Shirley today. It was really frustrating me until I realised I’d left my phone in Airplane mode.

It’s ok. I didn’t need personal space

Trying to get low and get that form right before going heavy again

Percy is trying to turn Salems Lot into Pet Cemetery

Good way to spend Australia Day weekend. Trip across to Magnetic Island.

Hey Merica - right about now is what your second amendment was written for…

If I had a dollar for every time algebra helped me in real life, I’d have X dollars.

A physicist and a biologist went on a date …. But there was no chemistry

A good morning to smash a personal best on pull ups. 19 1/2. Yeah the form was crap at the end.

My view trying to read.

After thoroughly enjoying Stephen Fry’s books on Greek mythology, I’ve just started his definitive collection on Sherlock Holmes and I think his narration would make almost book amazing.

What do you call a man who fixes pot holes for a living? Phil.

In bed by 9pm and still tired. Single parenting can be exhausting

What’s faster hot or cold? Hot- cuz you can catch a cold.

Roman numeral puns are great, and I for one will continue to make them.

When’s dinner?

My audible year in review.

Pull up Friday

I really like this

The inventor of the crossword puzzle moved into my neighbourhood. He lives five streets down and two houses across.

Little Thursday morning jalk (half walk half Jog)

Happy Wednesday folks. Felt fatigued today but still pushed through.

What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face ? Claude

Let’s get it #monochromemonday

The sounds you hear at the gym when you forget to charge your headphones…. And you realise most of the sounds are coming from you. 😳

Credit where credits due. Caleb Williams has balled out. Finish them off please Packers

💩🛌🧀

Packers offence. Time to make the adjustment. Need one more long drive and score.

Dominant first half Packers , best first half all year. Let’s play four quarters.