Organizing my pantry: stop buying tomato sauce, you have seven jars Me at costco: omg the fancy tomato sauce is on sale! It's never on sale! Well its on sale every other month, but what if I run out of tomato sauce and then have to buy it full price because I want sauce?

I could scrub my shower and wash my bed linens, or I could watch the fellowship of the ring extended edition. hmmmm what will I do this rainy morning?

It annoys me way more than it should that the episodes of Friends that are streaming on HBO Max are not the same cuts as on the DVDs.

Opening up a container of shelf stable icing and dipping pretzels into it because this day has been garbage

No, I did not buy a vanilla chai scented candle on sale yesterday and now I regret every life choice that led to that disaster of a decision.

Instead of buying fruits, vegetables, and a protein, I focused all my attention on grabbing a Trader Joe's lavender tote and two jars of curry. I have zero ingredients for dinner, but I do have cold curry sauce with absolutely noting to put in it. and a lavender tote I can't eat. a win is a win

Spent $17 on prepackaged bags of nuts to keep in my desk at work. Why

I've seen a lot of fat dogs today. Idk how I feel about that

The beans and pasta caveat is really important. It's almost impossible to buy the same items that you'd normally get at another store for less at Aldi, but Aldi's nonperishable groceries are generally inflation proof compared to other stores for the first couple of months of a sharp price increase.

PSA: Melted cheese is magic

Bought cookies just for a mechanism to eat whipped cream. Why don't I just spray the whipped cream directly into my mouth like a normal person?

Roast some sweet potatoes. Just throw some sweet potatoes in the oven until they are soft, wait for them to cool slighty, and go to town. Don't even worry about butter or oil or salt or anything for the first bite. Your taste buds and tummy will thank you.

Fully ready to make and accept the consequences of a peanut butter sandwich. Only to realize I have no bread.

Yes I can eat cheesy popcorn for dinner and no one can stop me but maybe someone should

I guess my middle school home ec course was truly and only for repairing ripped ball caps in my 30s en mass.

What does one add to make a milkshake look and taste green?

I returned a horrible quality pair of work pants yesterday, and with the refund I bought four non-work clothing items I'll 100% wear. I have zero work pants, but at least my non-work game is on point.

Sorry, no, I can't come to work in person on Mondays. Mondays is the only day I can wax my eyebrows sufficiently enough to be seen in public on Tuesdays.

Been there, got irrationally angry sitting on a bus on the express way in traffic when I would have rented a car had I known it was bus and not a plane that I paid for, about that

My super low risk retirement accounts lost over $4000 since dumper invaded Iran.

I forgot to buy yogurt again. What can I even eat for breakfast that is high protein no sugar and low carb?

Why does Jane Fonda keep emailing me?

I'm so tired of doing laundry. I refuse to do laundry today. I may regret this tomorrow.

heated rivalry audition take 3

Is anyone tracking the rich white actors that are quietly exposing themselves as awful horrible people with zero shame? They're popping up too fast and too subtly to remember when their movies come out so we can boycott.

Friendly reminder: wash your metal/plastic/glass straws with a clean sponge and clean straw cleaner, super hot water, and good soap today, especially if you haven't in a while.

Everything is terrible, but at least I don't have to worry about snow.

Wait, these are both Miranda Otto?

Home brewed ice tea + extra creamy oat milk would fix me.

Pro tip: buy yourself christmas gifts in march so that you forget what you bought yourself by december, and the gifts are a surprise but you actually like them.

Oh, salt contributes to thirst

I still don't have a bookshelf with a rolling ladder, so no, I'm afraid your email did not "find me well.”

If you can't stop sneezing: Take doctor recommended allergy meds (don't try random ones), vacuum your home, shut the windows, wash your face, drink a glass of water, and wait two hours for improvement. When there's no improvement, cry until you have no snot letft.

Each any every time anyone at work who recommends I use AI, I'm going to schedule aa 45 minute meeting with that person and insist they walk me through how to use AI until they realize how it literally can't do the tasks they want me to use it for.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend Season 1 would fix me www.youtube.com/watch?v=9253...

Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job http://theonion.com/economists-warn-that-even-their-friends-son-who-went-to-business-school-cant-find-a-job/

Had a dream that I had two and a half packs of kraft singles in my fridge. Woke up devastated that I have zero kraft singles and zero bread in my kitchen. Also extremely revealed I have zero kraft singles. yikes.

Too tired to drive to Costco or walk to Trader Joes. Zero healthy food left in my house.  Dinner of boxed mac and cheese with no milk tonight.

There's no law that says I can't make pumpkin pie today, right?

Did I spend $25 on fertilizer last night because that's the best price I'll find it all season? Assuming its even sold during the whole season. Only my tomatoes know for sure.

Those magical 10 minutes a day after washing my face when my skin is so soft and magical and perfect.

The Princess Diaries 2 is hella gayer than I remember But not gay enough.  Also the accents are widely inconsistent from the Europeans: some are British, some are French, some are hella American but they're all Genovian??

I'm actually shocked Variety never had their own TV channel for entertainment industry news. aka, thoughts I had not watching the gloden globes, sag, and oscars

chased raw cashews with a spoonfull of peanut butter  i'm immortal

I ate cashews unsalted, unflavored, nothingness cashews

Open a bag of pretzels (slightly satisfying) or open a bag of cheese curls (extremely satisfying, extreme thirst, and probably causes heart disease)

Make mini pain chocolat appear on my table please

White Lotus is kinda amazing at ramping up the tension on three disconnected simultaneous storylines at once to the point where I actually embody their drunkenness and psychosis until the episode ends

Band Sinister and Will Darling significantly improved my quality of life when I had to go back to work in person after quarantine. These are the perfect escapist books for an academic during spring break.

There's been about 2 dozen posts about dogs that had to be put down in the last two days. I'm going to assume this is a problem with my algorithm and not a cultural mass euthanizing of pets this weekend. I'm very sorry about everybody's dogs, also wtf is wrong with my algorithm?