All this reporting is making me crave iceberg lettuce with refrigerate tomato slices. Just like that week everyone was upset about cheetos.

To everyone impressed Taco Bell has higher food safety standards than the government... That's how the right believes the economy should operate: businesses voluntarily have high safety standards (or mid or low or no standards), and the government does not intervene or regulate safety levels.

Boiling salad summer

I got a $1.50 raise. Should I move it into my retirement fund or spend it on canned peas?

If we give into the doomerism we become complacent (that's how fascism works) and stop fighting to improve things, or even stop fighting to prevent things from getting worse.

Even if you've been there, and you have the most pertinent, perfect advice don't offer advice to someone who only wants you to respond "that sucks" They'll ignore you, get pissy at you, and will be less likely to listen to you in the future when your advice matters more.

No better feeling than my kitchen smelling like warm yeast. Except 45 minutes later when it smells like fresh bread.

cherry season is the best season

is there really no IOS potato chip emoji?

a day light savings time bill pops up in congress every year, often twice a year. and whenever it's proposed there is zero traction. now there's movement, but i do not care at all. day light savings time is the 2,4152,393rd thing I NEED congress to address this year, this month, this week, this day

outbreaks elevating rabbit food to haute cuisine www.foodandwine.com/recipes/aspe...

I've stabbed myself with multiple raspberry stem prickers trying to get my plants situated today. So not only do have I to worry about cyclosporiasis, but I have to worry about splinters making their way into my bloodstream and into my heart and killing me.

A thing I don't think many people realize is The Simpsons could show Bart's bare butt without issue from the FCC until 2004. And in 2004, suddenly something no one cared about for 15+ years became vulgar and un-airable.

who the hell is watching a streamer with ads, sees a ritz carlton yatch commercial, and thinks, 'yes, with the income i've saved by purchasing a streaming package with commercials instead of upgrading without commercials, i will spend that income on a ritz carlton yatch in greece'

Over here boiling blueberries because that's a normal way to clean fruit now.

businesses find an extra hour of day light in the evening more useful, but normal people who go to school (kids) or commute to work or shovel snow off their cars at 6am in the winter find an extra hour of daylight in the morning more useful

I'm convinced disney only did this because they were so worried the rock would lose muscle mass with age and they were convinced no one else could play the role but him in live action. Also, yes, 100% children and the industry and culture at large deserve originals

Bra shopping is the literal worst

fresh ingredients are all eaten up, tonight is ham sandwich with guac dinner. pray for me

Wasting the day making banana muffins and watching Back to the Future like some kind of person who has the day off during not a heatwave.

Finding it very fucked up how after decades of rejecting them, I've fully taken on both my parent's favorite hobbies. Love the hobbies. Still hate the parents.

So on Fox News I guess "experts" are people who aggressively don't know what they are talking about it. I thought their "experts" were people who were knowingly lying. My bad. I forgot the different for a second.

Not rereading an amazing book too soon because you want to forget the plot and the twists and the nuances and the jokes so that you can relive it like you are reading it for the first time.

Why do I keep trying to relax watching shows that stress me out.

My kitchen is so warm it feels like the oven, stove, air fryer, and kettle are all on. Nope, I checked, I didn't accidently leave any appliance on. That's the actual stale air temperature, sans open windows and multiple fans that are in the rest of my home.

Baking a cake because

Has no one claimed in writing that photo is AI?

You don't have to play those mobile games. You can just delete them from your phone. It's ok. You can if you want.

In the next 10 years you will have to buy this for someone because it will be the only thing left on their registry under $50 before tax, and it will be the registry of the bougie people who get unreasonably angry over non-registry gifts.

kettle chips and dark chocolate it could only be saturday night

Made rolls that look like horseshoe crabs and I have no regrets

Because they want to convince people film is art (I'm not claiming it's not), and they don't know any other way to do it but misuse words prevalent in academic interpretations of fine art. Ironically, filmmakers know infinite ways to create art and express art. And film nerds only know snobbery.

Downloaded nearly 50 books this morning to prep for vacation. Yep. I'm ready.

Why can't people who's only job is to fix things actually fix the things they are supposed to be able to fix?

Don't forget to take your summer allergy meds

Ever spend 80 minutes watching about 45 movie trailers while trying to pick a movie to watch, but never watch an actual movie?

There's 32oz of cheese in fridge. Not enough cheese.

Department directors who come into work with the flu and spread it around and get everyone sick are... people who model coming to work sick and expect their employees to come in sick too. Cheers to 87 people in my dept who have the flu in July.

I was 👌 to going to the gym this morning. I actually wanted to run on a treadmill. I stopped and looked inside the gym and then kept walking. Turns out the desire to want to gym is enough of a step for one day.

Ever see your reflection on a spoon and think, this is my life?

Emergency-I-need-to-eat-now-or-I'll-passout-Chipotle-burrito flared up my long dormant acid reflux and now I can't eat the $45 worth of acidic heavy groceries I bought. just another reason to never go to chipotle ever.

When celebrities become spokespeople for charities, do they get paid for it? Or is the not taking a paycheck a donation to the charity? Or do charities have a budget to pay celebrities millions of dollars to raise a different millions of dollars to replace the millions they paid the celebrity?

I miss June. It zoomed by too fast.

I pressed ⌘+f, and in the search bar "watermelon" was already typed. When did I type watermelon on the page search function and why?

The most unrealistic part of Back to the Future is that no one from the FBI showed up and abducted Marty for all the non-conformist, radical behaviors and things he said.

Sitting in traffic I heard NPR interviewing an economist who said "no one anticipate this kind of backlash against data centers" 🤦 Maybe if anyone had asked... they would have anticipated the backlash.

Chocolate ice cream with peanut butter pretzel nuggets might save my life right now.

Summer colds are the worst because if my nose isn't running, I'm sweating buckets in the heat.  There's zero minute for normalcy, just dripping fluids.

I can feel my neighbors running up and down the stairs, shaking my walls and floors and everything, but can't hear them and I'm terrified its actually an invisible monster coming to murder me and not my neighbors walking to their own door.

I feel like I can watch movies filmed on my employer's landholdings during work hours, right?