What am I supposed to name my new gals? It'll be a Brazilian Jewel and a Colombian Pink Sunburst. One little gal and one big woman.

Somebody locally is trying to rehouse their $600 and $350 female tarantulas because they're moving to Alaska. How many tarantulas does a woman need to own before she is considered the spider equivalent of a crazy cat lady?

Witch Watch is great. Magical girl MC with a roster of boys at her disposal? We love a reverse harem

Getting $1800 for 24 magic cards is pretty fucking rad, ngl

There are correct and incorrect answers to this.

We had to fire a cook today and then I had to call his father, who also works for us, to come in tomorrow to help with the holiday.

Fucked up what they're doing to me. None of these? Shittier Birthing Ritual? Shittier Colossus Hammer? Jitte?

Manifesting a prison break in modern the day. Please please please

I hate being a weekly anime watcher. What do you mean I gotta wait another whole fucking week to see more Rintaro and Miss Waguri?

I don't think playing a game of chicken where you're trying to see who is willing to let poor people starve longer was ever going to favor the Democratic party when their opposition is literally evil. This was never going to end any other way. We're fucked. We've been fucked since last November.

Davis Mills is going straight into the Texans lore book right between TJ Yates, Tiger Killer and Brock Osweiler throwing a forward pass so ugly that they ruled it a fumble on Monday Night football

Modern is such a cool fucking format right now and I am actually really excited to see just how much of an impact the owl will have on the format, if it has any at all. Maybe more Avatar cards too (the cub?) I don't despise this Universe Beyond property tbh

This is the last of my top end cEDH stuff that I would like to move. Worth about $2400, hoping to get $1700. Everything foil but the Earthcraft

Anybody in the market for signed Judge Promo fetch lands? I have Foothills, Delta, Mire and Heath all signed. I can send pictures when I get home in like 2 hours.

I don't know if it's funnier if Oda paid off on a Marco Polo joke 800 chapters apart or if he accidentally drew Marco in the background of a fight when Marco wasn't alive yet and went « ah, fuck, lemme make that Marco's dad, I guess. »

4-0 with Jeskai Blink! Esper Blink ☠️🐕🐕 UG Eldrazi 🐕🐕 Goblins 🐕🐕 Phoenix Dredge 🐕🐤🐕

Trying to trim down my wish list and I just can't bring myself to cut specific things. None of these cards are relevant anymore and some of these cards haven't been relevant for 5+ years

Might've gotten myself fired today

Think I am gonna try to get the Ragnvaldr S Ending without exploits tonight. I'm not ready to start grinding every possible ending in Termina yet and I feel pretty cheap for cheating the Ragnvaldr's ending when I 100%'d Fear and Hunger

I don't know if I should be laughing because the Colts think Daniel Jones is the answer at QB or if I should be terrified that Anthony Richardson might be figuring it out and he's shown enough in practice that they're willing to leverage their future for Sauce Gardner

Is the Avatar Bonus Sheet just an excuse to reprint portal cards?

Seeing redditors complain about Quantum Riddler in modern is so fucking funny. < It's the new Up the Beanstalk > No the fuck it ain't. Y'all did not play with or against that card enough. That card was unbelievably nuts.

My choice of career and my choice of hobby do not align. This is my wishlist I hope to have finished by the end of 2026, which will be constantly growing as we're getting 7 standard legal sets in one year

If I had a nickel for every time I left my phone in my manager's car after work when he gave me a ride home, I'd have two nickels, which isn't enough to fund my favorite hobby (hotboxing my manager's car) (this is the cool manager, not the weird foot guy or the bumbling buffoon general manager)

Me, when Azeez Al-Shair almost decapitated Trevor Lawrence: It wasn't a dirty hit, it was a bad accident, Lawrence slid late. Me, when CJ Stroud has to miss most of a game due to the exact same thing: I want this guy drawn, quartered and set ablaze. I'm the most unbiased sports fan of all time

I miss baseball already

RAAAAAAAAA! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾

Could totally be the new strain of weed I'm smoking, but Spy x Family episode 8 is the funniest thing I've ever seen

It's not that I am patriotic, it's just sickening to see the city of Toronto beat the US at something the US invented twice in my lifetime. Please Dodgers, I need y'all to pull your heads out of your asses

I do not understand Vinnie Fino's first place list from Houston. What is going on with the fables? Why only 2 Ephemerate? Why Subtlety and Force in the board with only 11 blue cards main?

< The knee cart is kind of an inconvenience to work around, what if you came in with crutches tomorrow instead? > What if I killed myself in front of you and traumatized you for life?

Not to sound like an old hag who hates fun, but I HATE when Halloween is on a weekend night. Why the fuck is there a middle schooler knocking on my door at 2:10 in the fucking morning? Trick or Treating ended at like 11. Go home, get off my fucking property, quit stressing my dogs out

Obosh might genuinely be the 2nd worst companion I've played in modern. Zirda was awful, I won't touch Gyruda. Lutri? Your opponent can't genuinely play around anything Umori? There's some damn good creatures out there Keruga? Encourages abuse of free spells and spells w/ built in cost reduction.

Bitches wanna lick the inside of my teeth because my train hopping hobo costume is peak. I didn't dress up for Halloween

Dockside Extortionist reprint? Kishishishi

Watching two dudes beef on TikTok over their Zoro theories in One Piece is so fucking funny. Especially when said theories are: « Ivankov is going to make Zoro a woman so he can prove the world's greatest swordsman doesn't have to be a man in honor of Kuina » « Zoro is gonna plow Kiku »

Being in immense debt and knowing there are at least 12 mythics coming out in standard sets that you're going to need playsets of for modern is a feels bad moment. Almost like my choice of career does not support my choice of hobby

You can break up with me, you can block my number, you could even invent a way to unfuck me, but you'll always have a guilty pleasure folk punk song that'll remind you of me and I think that's the greatest power I have

Death, taxes and somebody screaming < This is why we castrated you, asshole > at our cat in the dead of night. These are the unescapable truths of this life

From a glance, this set looks like it might be complete ass from a power level perspective. Modern might delay the invasion of half baked crossover sets for another 6 months

Empty Sleeves are Tamiyos. Excited to finally play an Obosh deck in modern! With this, I will have officially played 9 of the 10 companions in modern at some point.

-$14 cash +

« Do you ever see yourself getting married again? » The words that spilled out of my mouth that I could not stop: « Probably not. I'm pretty married to this job. It's my life »

Got paid out $14 in cash today by a couple waitresses. Y'all know what that means 😎😎😎 It's not enough money for weed, so we're gonna post in the city MTG Facebook group and try to snag a playset of helping hand at like a 700% mark up

I take a smoke break and one of these idiots manages to smash his own nuts into a drawer. I'm never getting foot surgery because these fuckers can not be left unattended for 5 fucking minutes

« Veive talks back to management and doesn't get a write up » « Veive doesn't follow the written schedule and doesn't get a write up » « Veive wears a hoodie when it's cold over her uniform and doesn't get a write up » Well, Veive doesn't show up and the restaurant goes to shit. Get good or STFU

Snoopy Goyfs are still not allowed btw

Yeah, I'm mentally stable. I just happen to get stoned every evening and watch anime that make me sob like a baby or watch love triangle anime and always put my emotional investment in the girl who doesn't get picked. Normal girl behavior

You take one fucking day off work because your foot is too broken to do the job and it becomes such a fucking shitshow that you get called in on 3 hours of sleep and have to bail out worthless fucking cooks while moving around on a fucking knee scooter. How am I working circles around these mfers?

4-0 with RUG Masters Ruby Storm 🦸‍♀️⛈️🦸‍♀️ UG Eldrazi 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️ Snoop Combo Goblins 👺🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️ Mardu Energy 🔋🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️ Hero cards always win* *Legally, I am not responsible for the validity of this statement