I’m a SFW writer, btw. Closest I’ve come to writing smut is a scene in my web novel where one of my protagonists tricks a fae queen into giving him a handjob.

Need to borrow a puppygirl’s mouth for a bit.

My dick is free use for friends. Chances are giving you the cock you crave is all I’m thinking about, anyway.

Need to get my money up so I can get my own place and keep as many oomfs as I can as cocksleeves.

Girl who’s so desperate for friends she lets you shove your cock in her every time you ask just so you won’t leave.

Calling all good girls who can let me work out my stress on them with my cock.

I’m not very up-to-date on my lingo, but I was wondering if I could *checks notes* “bottom you out”?

Bit rude that no oomfies are spreading their ass open for me begging to be used like a disposable cum dump, if I’m being honest.

It’s a good night to cum in a lonely girl’s mouth.

If I could get a couple moots who’d like to take turns getting their backs blown out by me while making out with each other, please?

Who needs their ass impregnated?

I’m in a rutting mood if any puppygirls would like to be held down and fucked senseless.

I’d like a gf with the same taste in women as me.

I’m making what some might call “money moves” (borrowing from my 401k to pay off credit card debt).

Uppies for puppies! Who wants some?

Could I interest any of you in some…UPPIES?!

I have cummed.

I don’t post pics of me usually because I didn’t think anyone was interested in seeing some old, fat, hairy man. Now I don’t post pics of me because I learned how wrong I was and it terrifies me.

I need attention so bad

Breed your puppygirl extra hard tonight for those of us with no pups of our own.

Alright, I’m normal again. Still wouldn’t mind ruining some puppygirl ass, though.

Lady at the gas station wished me a blessed night. I’m eating gas station snacks for dinner and beating my meat to questionable hentai. God wants no part in my night.

Gimme some puppygirl ass to ruin before I crash out and start posting oPiNiOnS.

Need to bully a puppygirl and fuck her like a piece of meat if I want any hope of being normal again.

If anyone wants to put on a crop top and mini skirt and let me bend you over and take out all these icky feelings on you with my dick, that’d be great.

Right now, all I want is someone who can take it. Someone who’s ready to give their body to me and can handle whatever treatment I give them like it’s all they’re good for and all they deserve. I’ll take care of you after, but until this feeling is gone, I need you to be an object. A durable one.

Name says it all. I degrade you, pull your hair, maybe slap you around and pour a drink on your head, then fuck you like a piece of meat and cum in you wherever I feel like until I stop feeling annoyed.

I need to hatefuck something.

Gonna go ahead and make this a full-time offer. The annoyances keep coming and cumming violently in someone that deserves it is the only thing that’ll fix it.

Limited time offer to hatefuck any brats who need to be put in their place. Or any subs, really. I just need to work some things out.

Feeling mean if anyone’s in the mood to be treated like a piece of fuckmeat with no regard for their personhood.

Too annoyed to be horny but I’m willing to meet in the middle and offer something I’ve decided to call “bullyfucking”.

My insurance doesn’t cover therapy so blowing loads into puppygirls is all I got.

I have the day off tomorrow, which makes tonight the perfect time for a 🎊DEPRESSIVE EPISODE🎊 🥳

Kinky group sex would be awesome, but I’d settle for having someone care whether I live or die 🤪

Bending a moot over a table and groping their tits while I rail them from behind.

What if I came in your mouth and made you hold it there until I cum in your partner’s mouth so you can kiss and swirl my cum between your mouths before swallowing it all?

I NEED to cum in someone that needs to be cummed in.

I’m a service top in the sense that the “service” is topping you until your brain breaks and you see stars.

I wanna cum in something. Could be you. Who knows?

The Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel depiction of Hell has to be one of the most terrifying because it’s the only one where even eternal damnation doesn’t save you from having to get a job and pay rent.

In the mood to drain my balls in a puppygirl who barks with joy at the privilege.

Flirting Tip: Give her a kiss through my cock during a double blowjob as a subtle hint that you like her.

Sure hope no puppygirls turn up in my DMs begging to have the humanity fucked outta them. That’d be awful 👀

Need to fuck a depressed girl so hard she forgets what she’s sad about.

Not yet, so bend over.

Rather be using an oomf’s mouth to cum right now than my hand.

Two topless emo girls making out with each other through my dick won’t fix me, but three might.

I could be persuaded to bully and manhandle some sad, pathetic girlfailure before pumping her full of cum in every orifice like it’s her only purpose in life.