Okay, I’m done with twitter again besides being a place where i just say random shit. What an inauthentic hell hole.

someone registered for the mustache masters with the exact same year, make, and model car that i had and it's incredibly alarming

we are using language that 2016 me would have believe was unrecognizable

What are the odds that “TrumpRx” is called that because he’s mad “Obamacare” exists as a name?

The Utah governor had to say the furry meme and that is seared into my brain

weeeeeeeeee

I turned 31 today, so I thought I should immediately start becoming a Strava guy.

Football season is back, which means I get to be so excited about America (in a liberal way)

I do not live and let live. I will continue to hate. And after finding this one person’s social media account where they are absolutely floundering and doing it in earnest, I feel vindicated.

M80 is unironically the best hope for German and NA CS

Having a job is going straight to my head. I just asked my wife if we could buy a sailboat off Facebook marketplace.

After years of being screamed at for the smallest mistake in the workplace (bosses, an entire rabid community who seemed to hate me for not a whole lot of reasons I was clear about), it’s still insane to get an “Yeah, it’s literally fine. Nobody is dying” response.

Playing in a dynasty league and realizing suddenly that almost every player I have has been in the league for three years or less.

Oh my god how are they already selling Halloween themed candy it is AUGUST

Unfortunately this playlist actually rocks

AND THEY WANT TO CUT RATES I actually feel like the Fed, who have been cautious and learned from mistakes, is being a bit too optimistic here concerning the impact of tariffs.

JEROME POWELL WHAT ARE WE DOING BABY

Finding affordable, authentic Japanese markets in Providence is going to burn a hole in my wallet

I have a great bit with a lifelong friend where I keep thinking her birthday is the 20th but it’s the 25th and I swear to god the last three years I have screwed it up each time.

Did you guys know that you can use Excel Macros to create folders in SharePoint? No? Well, whatever. This better get me a promotion.

I think the healthiest thing in my life over the last nine months has been a complete disattachment from social media.

Trying to be super chill, but I decided not to go to the Pats game tonight and the opening drive was returned for a kickoff TD and I am feeling emotional.

these people need to touch grass

I know I’m officially old and boring now when I get exited looking at the multiple investment accounts I get with my new job.

Made a mistake at work and I did not get three DMs, have four people screenshot it and post it on Twitter, and a YouTube video made about how I deserve to be fired. Feels weird.

i wrote a whole story about how he was a predator, consistently, with evidence from multiple women, and he has now successfully posted through a comeback. expect to see him on a broadcast soon. why the fuck did i even bother.

s1mple is not that good and the entire drama over him finally joining a team has been the most annoying side news of the last two years

sawx kid

beach

Excited to go to a Red Sox game this weekend where I will probably argue with my father about why we can’t be scabs and getting sausages inside the stadium.

If anyone has recommendations for Zadar/Split, please let me know! I worked some insane credit card points magic and I’m able to go this September for about 10 days 🥳

> maybe esports isn’t bad > wonder how cologne is going > and we’re already knocked out

Some other fun news is that I’m officially working at a brewery next week. I’ll be a part-time weekend bartender at one of my favorite spots. Definitely a fun gig to have for extra home-Reno project money, but also another step towards opening my own shop down the road.

Just saw someone turn a left fork in a sink into a seven paragraph LinkedIn post about leadership and this might actually be the time I lose my mind

I’m not really working at my job. I’m just helping update and automate systems that have not really worked since 2018. Honestly, it’s great.

god i bet this hits so hard if your fucking stupid

Hi, I'm back again. I have my job and have been having fun and getting the mental back. I will be back to political and esports shitposting. Thank you for your attention to the matter.

If you show a non-profit how to use a two-way XLOOKUP their heads explode.

“In Cell 15, Plaintiff Abrego Garcia and 20 other Salvadorans were forced to kneel from approximately 9:00 PM to 6:00 AM, with guards striking anyone who fell from exhaustion. During this time, Plaintiff Abrego Garcia was denied bathroom access and soiled himself…”

"But federal courts do not exercise general oversight of the Executive Branch; they resolve cases and controversies consistent with the authority Congress has given them." THIS IS LITERALLY NOT WHAT THE FRAMERS BELIEVED!!!

I TOLD HLTV TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO GET THAT FUCKING SITE OFF There is no reason that CSGOEmpire should have been on there after Copenhagen. I told them to cancel their contracts. They fucking knew all of this. I emailed, tried to set meetings, I pushed back. Ridiculous. Entirely ridiculous.

btw i am never getting over the fact that the second i got laid off jason lake unfollowed me it was the funniest thing i've ever seen a ceo do

I NO LONGER HAVE TO MAKE SIX WORKDAY ACCOUNTS EVERYDAY WHEN APPLYING

Turning off all the job alert notifications for the five job boards I was on is hitting like crack.

ZOHRAN MY GOAT I AM SO PISSED I LEFT NYC AND COULDNT VOTE FOR HIM I think Lander is primarily a more experienced and functionally better Mayoral candidate, but people need the vibes back. They need someone who looks and feels like a true fighter for them. Zohran is delivering that.

My new job offers lots of paid parking options, but not discounted public transportation (Bus) options. We are a C-Tier city with no subway, but come on. Anyways, I will be biking and bussing to work.

Honestly, I would have paid $40 for my TIPS Certification to go work at a Brewery just to get my dream job three weeks later.

I GOT THE DREAM JOB SEVEN MONTHS 872 APPLICATIONS ONE OFFER ITS OVER