UGH I LEFT MY LUNCHBOX AT WOOOOORRRRRRRRRRK

The best part of my day is the uninterrupted hour I get to listen to an audiobook despite having to do it in the gym

This camera angle makes me look short.

I was really excited for this out of town performer I had booked until I saw on Facebook they’ve decided to stop performing 😔

That thing where everyone puts a handful of dirt on the grave? So cunty. Like that is DRAMA. Hope whoever came up with that enjoyed their success.

This suspiciously large woman wants to feed you breakfast foods while she pretends to sing other people’s songs

Need more venues to have WiFi that works, I’m very tired of tethering my phone

It doesn’t work to casually perform kpop because everyone expects choreography 🤣

The weirdest part of my experience with weight loss is that I’ve been this weight before but not this shape 🥴

I’ve tried really hard not to let my mom following me on impact the things I post but it stopped me tonight and I’m mad about it

Me, mid-interaction: wow I’m really killing this interaction rn Narrator: they were not, in fact, killing it.

I love to avoid conflict and responsibility by feigning ignorance. That’s a top tier avoidance tactic tbh

I get to be pretty gay for the next 48 hours and I’m always very excited for that

“Put that man in a flannel and slap him on a paper towel”

I feel like trying to go viral is the exact opposite energy of what it takes to actually go viral because it will always lack authenticity and that’s the first thing that weeds you out and vitality isn’t success anyway

The shoot in question

There is no good reason for teams to have Pearl gifs available but thank god.

I deserve financial compensation for how much more I look like my dad with less fat in my face

Trying to get my husband to feed my therapist topic suggestions since he has an appointment in the same office before me

One of my favorite Internet Hots(tm) is gogo-ing at the bar this Friday after the drag show I’m DJing 👀

I’m working at a different location today but I have therapy right after work (they’re usually located very close to each other but not today) so I’m spending all day not so low key stressed about making it to my appointment

I usually wear a sweater all day at work and was too warm for that today somehow so now I have to have conversations about my tattoos 🙄

A bts from one of my favorite photoshoots ive ever done where i happened to maneuver myself to get an entire page of just me in the final publication.

Went out and socialized tonight and it was lovely

I hope that my hockey boyfriends who aren’t at the Olympics are having a nice break

Internet work out guys who do absolutely no other grooming or effort kind of crack me up.

Officially down 50lbs

The worst part about being in to old men is that so many of them are my age or younger now and that’s very rude of them.

I love these pens but the fact that I’m down to the shit colored ones is 🥴

Some day I’ll have the space and means to have a proper studio with a big sink and all my own tools so my husband won’t have to wonder why the tongs are in the shower.

I think the polygamists are kind of cooking with the prairie dresses

Churned out a quick costume piece for a sister while she body doubled me and now I get to smoke and put a million braids in this wig

I have lost four inches around my chest in the last two months

When people ignore the sign that says wait to be called forward and just walk up as soon as someone walks away I punish them by making them wait while I pretend to click around. READ THE FUCKING SIGNS.

I need to schedule a country show asap, I need to wear fringe!

Honestly mad at how good exercising regularly feels. What the fuck.

Going to the gym after work and then coming home and hitting a blinker because life is about balance

Sometimes I miss being a sister

That thing where you dream and plot for years to find a specific breed of dog and then it becomes… this.

The tables have turned and now I am stealing Christopher’s clothes

*shops mexicanly*

Look, I’m a (mostly) reformed mean girl who is also fat and gay, there is cruelty in my soul that would sicken most people, and every day I choose not to be an evil little shit is a blessing.

There’s a special place in hell for people who take a full cart thru self checkout

Frequently asking people “what do you mean you don’t know any bad bunny songs..?”

TikTok keeps showing me sylvanian family BATS with no link to purchase I thought this was AMERICA

Time to give em the ol razzle dazzle (eye contact)

My health regimine is Go to Gym then Snoke Weed Until It Doesn’t Hurt Anymore

I’ve been rewatching big love because I love Mormon drama

I’m a gonzo sun, Miss piggy moon and fozzie rising

Some day I’ll let my weed pen fully charge instead of just charging it until it’s usable again.