One of my first lab/research jobs in 1985 was for McNeil, makers of Tylenol. Although Tylenol elevates ALT levels (and I don't use it for that reason, preferring Motrin), it is generally regarded as a safe medication. It doesn't cause autism. There's nothing in the formulation that would.

You'd think if god was your co-pilot, you'd know where the f*** you're going.

The best way to rattle a Rapture-believing Christian is to tell them you'll get their stuff.

I'm all for the Rapture if it means lower vehicle insurance rates because the bad drivers all get sucked up.

We're now in the season where potatoes don't sprout three days after buying them

I'm all for The Rapture if it means more parking spaces free up

Being a true rebel, I had a Hawaiian pizza on National Pepperoni Pizza Day

"If you think that's bad, you should have seen life with a computer" - future me

#GrandePrairie getting some much-needed rain!

Ruzzia says fewer "deaths involving windows" to occur now that the window company has been blown up and its CEO mysteriously died.

Note: God was co-pilot www.cbc.ca/news/enterta...

You put cheese in the middle of the pizza. Good job! Now let's work on your edge cheese skill deficiency.

The @bluejays.com couldn't even get a field goal yesterday.

Womp womp www.bbc.com/news/article...

Diff'rent strokes for fascist folks

Gone for a few days. What'd I miss, aside from the Kimmel story? Is maga still trying to mistakenly blame the left?

The people who don't know what makes french fries crispy are the same people who place them in steam tables or put them in packaging that makes them soggy.

This is down from their initial estimate of 14.2 billion

Christian Nationalists initially blamed the left for the act, then realized it was one of their own, then realized the suspect was Mormon (and Mormons aren't left), so they returned to blaming the left and disavowed Mormons (who are Christians).

Since sending the Mexican Navy ship to NYC didn't work out so well, maybe we can send this bull to DC?

David Taylor (the Quickening)

Free speech can be very costly

Staying in camp usually means you yearn for a home-cooked meal. The various camps surprised me by making sweet-and-sour beef short ribs, roasted turkey, a banger chili, fettuccine Alfredo, fried trout, deep-fried cod, and a whole bunch of great soups.

Does your local bulffet charge weekend rates on a Friday afternoon?

Trump meets speed bump

Saturday breakfast pasta should be a thing. I had egg linguine with a chicken cheese sauce and now I'm ready to interact with humans

Not sure why it's such dramatic music for a dishwasher tab commercial

I think this is the perfect example of why you get family members to sign something that says they won't turn you in.

Sometimes, but not often, putting on a shirt is like plugging in a USB cable

I reckon Bolsonaro won't be visiting Mar-A-Lago anytime soon.

Far be it for them to admit they jumped the gun again.

Thank you for your procrastination to this matter

#CharlieKirk's kids didn't deserve it when Charlie was alive

It's pretty evident that Charlie Kirk wasn't an elementary school student by the big Trump response

I'm surprised Trump hasn't started a GFM for Kirk's family by putting out a commemorative coin with Trump's face on it.

Tragic, tragic news coming from Utah Valley University yesterday. I was unaware they don't allow alcohol on campus.

I heard the crime rate went up at Utah Valley University. When do they send the National Guard in?

Imagine if you sat in a restaurant and your food had already been prepared, but sat for 30 minutes. Crispy shrimp gone soggy, sauces absorbed by starches, medium-rare steak continued to cook. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you food delivery services.

"Rose Garden Club" has a much different meaning to many than what Trump wants to portray those three words as.

How dumb of a Russian refinery do you have to be to get in the way of Ukrainian drones? Ryazan residents complain local refinery won't get out of the way of drones newsukraine.rbc.ua/news/--17570...

Not surprising that he's going to burn all the paperwork linking him to criminals

When the shooting starts, the fascism stops

Because it's Happy Hour at the Six Fingers Pub in Brooks? #abpoli

If you turn down the volume, RFK Jr. looks like a guy angry that someone knocked over the crypt he was sleeping in

A whole two cups left for putting on top of broccoli!

If you're going to make bechamel for baked mac and cheese, make enough for your broccoli at the same time. 😋

After years of research, I've determined you should use the horn before you drive through the coffee shop's plate glass window, not after. Doing it after is simply attention-getting behaviour.

I don't recall the bible talking about electrolytes

If you get the reference, bonus points!

They should install a fake bus stop at the White House, so if Trump is alive, he'll probably show up at it at some point. Unless the nurses spot him gone quickly.