I’m still in Scotland, so won’t be going up Lakey Hill today. But I have been up Arthur’s Seat. 😃 #TheArchers

I have no idea what my ‘Move Goal’ is. But #Edinburgh seems to have broken it.

The view on my way to work this morning. And also on my way back this evening. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙 #Edinburgh

Dismayed and exhausted by the breathless media commentary. As for the MPs, the words ‘rats’ and ‘sack’ spring to mind. #Starmageddon

Well, I’ve made it to sunny #Edinburgh! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😎 (Glad I brought my BIG COAT.) Train was delayed 30 mins. I was delayed 7 years. But I’m finally here again, for a long-overdue trip. #ItTookMeSoLongToGetHereButHereIAm

This. Am expecting Claudia Winkleman to pop up as a #BBCNews anchor any moment. #WATO

Well, #BBCNews is getting rather excited this evening. #MontyPython

Thank you, #TheArchers tweetalongers. I’m in #Edinburgh next week, so will be going up Arthur’s Seat instead of Lakey Hill. See you in a couple of weeks! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Miss Babs: “Mrs O, you’re off the hook – no one believes you Chardonnayed Mr George!” Mrs Overall: “Oh, I am pleased!” #AmbridgeAntiques #TheArchers

Brian: “At some point in the not-too-distant-future my children will have to manage without me. And I fear for them. Because they are not serious people.” #TheArchers #Succession

Brian: “Hello, Ben, sorry I called you a **** earlier. Just wanted to reassure you that Ruairi’s definitely not guilty of attempted murder, and I haven’t been protecting him with a false confession or anything, or perverting the course of justice. So that’s all good then. Bye!” #TheArchers

Ben: “Ruairi said he’s been talking to his mum. But she’s been dead nearly 20 years, so I think he might be going psychotic. Bye!” #TheArchers

Ben: “Why are global billionaires interested in investing in #TheArchers?” 🤔

Ruairi: “I think that means – it’s over.” Lilian: “Sorry, Darling – there’s another 15 minutes of this to go yet.” #TheArchers

Lilian: “I suppose it does sound a bit far-fetched, when you lay it all out.” Ruairi: “I’m sure the writers are doing their best.” #TheArchers

George: “Everything that happened, I’ve put it behind me and moved on, and I probably won’t shop your dad with my secret recording of his false confession or anything.” Ruairi: “What?” George: “What?” #TheArchers

Brad: “I’ve decided I’m not going to see my dad.” Tracy: “Who?” #TheArchers

Tracy: “Why are you talking about Clive all the time? He’s not coming back to #TheArchers too, is he?”

Ruairi: “It was me who attached you with a free bottle of Chardonnay on New Year’s Eve. Sorry about that.” George: “Yeah, right! You nearly had me there!” 🤣 Ruairi: “No, really. Catch up on BBC Sounds if you don’t believe me, or wherever you get your podcasts.” #TheArchers

Tracy: “It’s election day, isn’t it?” Bert: “Yes, it is.” #TheArchers #TopicalCrowbarrings

Brian: “Ruairi, wait, you can’t do this!” Ruairi: “I’m sorry, Dad, but I have to. It’s in the script, and I’m contractually obliged!” #TheArchers

Ruairi: “I’ve decided I’m going to go to The Police tonight.” Brian: “You can’t! You can’t possibly! They stopped touring in 2008!” #TheArchers #ThePolice

Ruairi: I have to do something to try and make this right.” Ben: “I know a good script editor?” #TheArchers

Azra: “Oh no! The budgie sound effect has flown straight out the window!” Akram: “Fletch has become… a silent character!” Fletcher: #TheArchers

Ruairi: “It’s really hard, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.” Ben: “I know, Ruairi. But I’m sure these scripts will improve soon.” #TheArchers

Akram: “I’d be very happy to help…” Tom: “No thanks. Your ‘helping’ is like letting Father Dougal help with a funeral.” #TheArchers #FatherTed

Ben: “Ruairi? Are you OK? You look like you’ve just confessed to attempted murder and made someone an accessory to perverting the course of justice after the fact or something?” #TheArchers

Adam: “I can’t believe it!” Ruairi: “No, it is quite unbelievable. But I’m sure the writers are doing their best.” #TheArchers

Akram: “‘Every walk of rural life’ – I like that. You could use it as a slogan.” Azra: “Why? What’s wrong with ‘contemporary drama in a rural setting’?” #TheArchers

Akram: “I’m in here, with this budgie sound effect!” Fletcher: *CHEEP* #TheArchers

Ruairi: “OK fine, fine – I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Apart from 5m #TheArchers listeners.”

Adam: “Lilian said Brian isn't as callous as I think he is, as though he was - I don't know - protecting someone by covering up an attempted murder and perverting the course of justice or something.” #TheArchers

Ruairi: “Dad is not on Hinge.” Adam: “No, Ruairi, it’s a misprint. It should be ‘unhinged’? Though he probably is.” #TheArchers

Adam: “We need to do something about Brian.” Ruairi: “I’ll fetch a bottle of Chardonnay.” #TheArchers

Natasha: “It sounds really hard.” Anna: “Yeah. But we’d better try to read it out anyway.” #TheArchers

Carol: “WTF are you doing?” Anna: “Recording an episode of #TheArchers. You?”

Azra: “The waiting time is fairly lengthy, I’m afraid. There’s still another 40 minutes of this to go yet.” #TheArchers

Anna: “What do you MEAN bats are protected by law?” Leonard: “Are you absolutely SURE you’re a lawyer, Anna?” 🤔 #TheArchers

Leonard: “Your mother’s quite batty.” 🦇 Anna: “I’ve been saying that for years.” #TheArchers

Natasha: “Want to give a talk to the W.I.?” Anna: “No. Bye!” #TheArchers

Anna: “I didn’t practice for a while.” Azra: “Don’t worry. You don’t need to rehearse #TheArchers – we just read it out?”

Natasha: “How are you getting on with the mental health initiative thing you mentioned?” Azra: “Great, thanks. I’m just advising people: ‘Don’t listen to #TheArchers, and you won’t go mental’.”

Leonard: “You’ve got bats up there, Carol.” 🦇🦇 Carol: “It’s been a while, OK?” #TheArchers

Leonard: “Can I go up your loft hatch?” Carol: “You’ll have to buy me a drink first.” #TheArchers

Carol: “I’ve been hearing things...” Leonard: “OMG – turn that radio off now, Carol! You’ll get us all trapped in a metafiction paradox feedback loop!” #TheArchers

Tom: “Have you checked the app this morning?” Natasha: “Yes. You really don’t want to see what they’re saying about you on Bluesky, Tom.” #TheArchers

Leonard: “I’ve had a go at Jill’s flapjack.” Carol: “Well that’s too much information.” #TheArchers

Leonard: “Can I tidy up your front garden?” Carol: “No thanks.” #TheArchers

Leonard: “Carol? It’s me, your comedy partner, Leonard Berry!” #TheArchers #FrenchAndSaunders #BerryAndTregorran

Lilian: “Thank goodness that’s over.” Brian: “No, Lilian. I’m afraid there’s another hour of this to go yet.” #TheArchers