What’s your fatal flaw—the one that’ll be the death of you? ☠️ The flaw 👉 Legally blind when it comes to clutter. The demise 👉 Trip over the pants my wife told me to pick up, crack my head on the dresser, insta-kill. Your turn.

Sometimes devils aren't under the bed—they're leasing space upstairs. Gehenna is a demon-hunting, descent into relics, rot, and redemption. Come see what crawls out when history refuses to stay buried. 📖 www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0FJ...

Indiana Jones meets Hellblazer. A rogue relic hunter stumbles into a hidden war between zealots and something far worse. Snark, grit, and biblical horror collide in— Gehenna The Plagueborn Series begins. 📘 Out now. www.amazon.com/dp/B0FJXZB78V

Working just hard enough to not get fired and busting your ass—shockingly—pay the exact same

River float day!

This is how I envision myself when I say I'll be in the woods. Tigerlily gets it.

Proof of life

My brain hurts 🤯☠️

😮‍💨

Series book cover; Book 3 Made by me. AI can suck it.

Series book cover; Book 2 Made by me. AI can suck it.

Series book cover; Book 1 Made by me. AI can suck it.

I now know drinking coffee through a straw does indeed caffeinate me faster, but with an added side effect of existential dread.

COFFEE!!! Maybe too much coffee...

16 drove himself to school today for the first time and a new level of anxiety has been unlocked.

My son's friend just doordashed him McDonald's as a congrats for getting his license. My doorbell rang at 10:30 pm but still, nobody sends me surprise food.

Do raccoons think we’re just really bad at hiding our snacks? Goodnight.

No, I’m not okay. But I put on pants and didn’t bite anyone. Heroic, really.

This is what “I’d marry you all over again” looks like.

I was told my vibe is a little witchy, a little wifey, and 100% not to be underestimated. I feel x-rayed.

If I think, therefore I am… what happens when I overthink? Am I more? I mean...I'm already a handful...it would explain some things. jinkies...goodnight.

I'm thinking scallops with a pseudo mushroom bacon risotto for dinner tonight. But can I pull it off?

🫩 ☝️What is this? I didn't give them permission to use my likeness!

Quote with the animal within you

Teriyaki tuna steaks sprinkled with lemonade chips, pamesean brussel sprouts & fingerling potatoes for dinner. I think I did pretty well.

I don't care if it's a bonfire/cookout in the sticks. My husband bought me a new dress and I'm gonna wear it.

We used to have other parents we hung out with at these events for the hour+ between matches, but now I just find a quiet place and play with snapchat.

The amount of pee on that gas station toilet seat was enough to make me consider just going out back by the dumpsters.

I told my son he tracked mud on the floor. Later, I asked him why he hadn't cleaned it up yet. He said it didn't ask him to. So I told him I put his clothes in the dryer...I never said I started it.

So...I may have punched my Mr. in the face with a vibrator. He said it made him cockeyed. I fear he will wear an eye patch to work just so people will ask what happened...

My 16 year old son almost punched me in the face! I mean, I jump scared him and probably would have deserved it, but still.

I pulled up to a stoplight in my orange jeep with an orange car beside me and an orange car in front of me. When the light changed, we all went in different directions like we were on some kind of mission. It's the little things in life. 😆

Sun’s coming up. Shadows, too. Some of y'all keep asking for peace while clinging to chaos. Go full, Elsa—let that shit go. Or admit you love drama more than healing. Me? I’m choosing clarity. And if that burns bridges—good. I walk better without the weight. (Mooning you photo credit: Me)

Did anyone else have a Yak Bak growing up and can you please explain why we wanted it so bad?

I didn't have great expectations for the thundershirt I got for my scaredy-cat of a doggo, but omg does that thing make a difference. She went from nonstop pacing and panting so hard she gags herself to pushing up against me and snoring. 🤯

This is why I need a bigger dick...duck

The d/f and u/i being next to each other on the keyboard is pure sabotage. Case in point: 'Bold dick stencil' wtf, no. 'Bold fuck stencil' damn it, no. 'Bold duck stencil' thank you. 😮‍💨

How long do I have to stay in the bathtub before I'm considered soup? 🛀🫧

Love Actually...Sucks "Nobody knows wtf is going on."

Do it, do it, do it! 😅

Being the mom of a teenager is crazy because I have to ask this dude that's bigger than me why the broom is sticky.

Truth.

⛈️ Great day for waterproof shoes! I love them! My Mr. found them for me because I have a problem with paying attention to what's ahead of me, not what's in front of me...I love him too. It really is the little things in life 🙃 @vessiofficial.bsky.social #puddlehunters

🤬 Why is it my responsibility to inform the healthcare provider that they have been paid by my insurance carrier? Because "payment is ultimately your responsibility." TF sense does that make? You're telling me they don't have systems in place to even indicate check's in the mail? Wait, that tracks.

Your Saturday morning chuckle.

Me: We did the cookie jar song in a Christmas play when I was little too. 16 y/o son: When was that? 1920?

Good morning 🫶🏻 I hope you have the day you deserve.

🥱 morning 😴

Good morning to those who observe 🫶🏻📷