Is there any "Bubba" on Earth that WOULDN'T be funny for Trump to have blown?

Some day there will be a president who unironically refers to the nation as "chat"

It's so weird hearing Landslide being used to sell Lexuses. Lexi?

The "piss tapes" era was really a simpler time.

Soap should not smell like things I want to eat.

So how many people you knew from high school did you later find out joined a cult? For me it's like 3 so far.

I miss away messages, I just want to post lyrics I think are cool.

Does the AI Coke commercial past the Bechdel test?

It seems like everyone I know is going through a mega depressive episode right now and like yeah, I get it. Same.

If 6-7 is the dumbest thing this generation says, than that's fine. My generation called each slurs casually.

Babies are not allowed to slam dunk.

Million dollar idea: Air Bud branded ear buds.

Your fancast is garbage and if it was made into a reality you'd hate it.

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... but I have soooo much extra bubblegum, would you like a piece?

The Rent is Too Damn High Guy's platform would be better than ever if he was still running for office.

I haven't cared about Baseball since I was a kid but I do think it would be very funny if in today's political climate that the Blue Jays won the world series.

I don't hate tootsie rolls but every single fruit flavor one is better than the original "chocolate' one.

Why are the twins digging in their butts? Is it because they're 6,7?

Every room is an escape room if you have enough anxiety.

You don't hear about kids falling into wells anymore these days which either means we have improved well safety or kids are now more educated on the dangers of wells.

Shout out to all the bots who followed me after I posted this.

I feel like every Halloween I remember that Nestle's Crunch are actually pretty solid.

shout out to the people following me who are actual people and not weird bots.

Sometimes you just need to listen to Sufjan Stevens and cry.

It's crazy when Republicans are like "Muslims want to take away gay rights which is a travesty because Christians should be the ones to take away gay rights."

if I was at a disco I would absolutely panic.

I bet if you jork it while wearing a fitness tracker you get so many steps in.

As president I would like to announce I have slashed the budget of the Department of Keeping People Alive and given the funds to the Bureau of Killing People.

Cool opinion bro, but you didn't list every nuance and exception in your 280 character post so I'm going to have to call you out.

I have heard a lot of people have their ashes illegal spread at Disney Land when they die. Disney should capitalize on this by having an official Disney Cemetery and charge you like 20K for a Mickey Mouse headstone.

I grew up Catholic and even though I'm atheist now I took away some things from my upbringing, like everlasting shame.

I hate that now any time I see a new artists work the first thing I do is squint and see if I can see any telltale signs of AI.

10 games to get to know me

The most frustrating thing about being sent way back in time is I wouldn't be able to help advance society any because I don't really know how anything actually works.

Do parents name their kids Darcy anymore?

There were NO Children's hospitals when I was a kid. Because there were no kids.

cs2 skin market crashing is very very funny to me.

I'm book smart... but only fantasy books, so if you want to know shit about elves or dragons I'm your man.

The internet really destroyed the "pervert flasher wearing a trenchcoat in the park" industry.

I heard Trump is putting a Steak n Shake in the White House.

A pokemon game set in a world based on Detroit.

A movie that is the aftermath of a slasher movie where there are like 8 dead teens and 1 girl covered in blood who swears to god it was a supernatural guy in a mask and the cops have to figure it out.

I cannot think of a more miserable existence than to guide the way you live your life purely with the hopes of "owning the libs"

I have a plan to go viral and all I need is a baby hippo.

All I want is an affordable house that has a secret room behind a bookcase that opens when you pull on a copy of RL. Stine's Night of the Living Dummy II.

Is reverse Demisexual a thing? Where you can only feel sexual attraction to people you do not have an emotional bond with?

When we write or draw porn or erotica, we get banned from having a bank account and our livelihoods get seized even if we give it away for free. When billionaires steal what we've written or drawn to churn out a slop-approximate of porn, they're allowed to charge for it.

Zoomers move on from memes and slang too quickly. In my day you could just say a quote from a Jim Carey to get a laugh and the same one would work for like 10 years.

People who flip burgers for a living deserve to earn more than people who run hate mongering podcasts. They contribute more to society.