I've been picking up a little ASL to talk w/ some people at my gym and I think I kinda have a knack for this! For some reason though the more ASL I learn, the more Farsi I start remembering. Brain works funny

don't cause a scene

Manspreading in my chair in the comfort & privacy of my apt. #IDeserveThis

Incomprehensible

Can you hear the horses? 'Cause here they come

Hannah Einbinder is so hot it makes me wanna gnaw my hand off #rabid

I made a friend from the UK/living in the UK last year and now I really want more international homies. Japan, Ireland, Cameroon WYA?

Katsuhiko Maeda my beloved

Oh, won't you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor

And so it began

I fear I may be fated to wind up with a Swiftie #SayItAintSo

Just gotta make it through Jan 10th without an entanglement & I should be good for the year 🙏

Still think Dua Lipa & I would have insane chemistry, but that's probably true of anyone w/ her if I'm being honest

There's a story at the bottom of this bottle And I'm the pen #EmoForever

I swear to God if I die from the measles I'll come back in the form of a goddamn plague!

A critical vibe

My steez is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a lovesick crackhead

Homosexual rigamarole

Sometimes feelings of imposter syndrome creep in @ work, but then my boss showers me with praise for doing things I normally do and I sorta begin to understand why some girls love the princess treatment

My favorite time of the day: bed

If we met on Big Brother do you think we'd have a secret Final Two deal?

The hold this album has on me lately

Good god I love women

Leave me ALONE, Kamala Harris! That era is OVER

Looking in the mirror, brushing my beard. Pretending I have any idea that I know what I'm doing I never even thought I'd be able to grow one, now wtf am I supposed to do with it

The Bills calling the tush push after voting to ban it

IDK about you but that was my match of the night, they put on a clinic #AEWWorldsEnd Run it back! Damn!

The intergender matches are always so good #AEWWorldsEnd

Just gotta stay awake long enough to see Statdaddy 🤞 #AEWWorldsEnd

I mean I could but why would I want to

There are so many crazy good shows coming up

ninajirachi is like McDonald's Sprite for my ears

Big dawg-ing my way through the pain

I am not having a good time moving on from this one but I suppose it's not supposed to feel good. 😮‍💨

Come on, don't leave me, it can't be that easy, babe

I am a lover at heart & sometimes that heart loves fighting

They need to display how long an IG story has been live before you open it cause wth do I look like opening a story 41 seconds after it's been posted!!!!?!?!?!!!!!

As is tradition

Has anyone ever died from loving beautiful women too much or may I get to be the first?

Draining the swamp* today (* - taking magnesium citrate b/c I ate cheese 3 days ago and it's still in me I can feel it)

You change all the lead Sleeping in my head to gold

Paul Evans (British, b.1950) "Winter Orchard," 2025 Ink and acrylic 30 x 30 cm #art #painting #artist #BlueSkyArt

Am I about to spend $300 on Jordan Jensen tickets without having a confirmed +1? Well,