Ooh! What a pretty dragon! (Watching from a burning tree)

"But you can have more rations and less rats if you eat them! Two problems solved!"

I can die now!

He's made a replacement horn out of cedar and beeswax, but it only produces a sad hiss and explosion of sparkles when he blows on it. ".... chestnuts."

(Face-first on the ground, bleeding from several wounds. Thumbs-up)

"Alleyways are a great place for murder!" Surrounded by several armed thugs who do not look happy with the goblin's continued existence.

(He returns about fifteen minutes later, holding a dozen rats by their tails.) Got them!

Oh! I can catch them! (Running off to catch the rats)

What's wrong?

found some cheese and chips. munch munch munch munch munch

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! (He stares in awe at the flawless backflip, nearly moved to tears by her performance.) Where are you from?! That was amazing!!

HELLO! I'M HUBIE! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?! (Dancing and clapping around her)

(EXCITED SHRIEK)

Butts

Many birds were harmed in the making of Hubie

"Wow! You're very tall! Are you a Priestess of the Cold?" Craning his head back to see the woman's face.

Offering the reader a half-eaten pasty. "You look hungry!"

12 crazy Goblin tips to slow the Rot your Dermatologist DOESN'T want you to know about!!

"New friends!"

"Lots of my blood was just used in a ritual!" Collapses to the ground.

"Oh! I know that!" Continues eating it, smiling wider.

Mouth full of petals. Muffled 'why?'

ow! OW! (Dives into a fox's hole and starts tunnelling away)

Uh oh. Mage garden. 𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘚 𝘚𝘗𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘈𝘞𝘈𝘠

Eating flowers

I can't tell! What do you mean you don't need hats? Not even a helmet? What if an axe ends up in your face?

//hubie never got a chance to shine on twt so im glad he's getting one here. One of the only canon characters ill rp (bc I love ocs so much) and that's just how great he is

Immediately snaps out of it, grabs the shrimp tail, and sprints away laughing.

Oh. Sorry, I already gave a traveler a hat today!

Screaming crying. Inconsolable. A puddle of tears on the floor.

Thanks! Where's your hat?

Big creature

Still crying. "B-But... the tails are the best part!!" Wails

Starts sobbing

Staring at the discarded tails

YAAAAAAY

Rapturous "YA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOoooo"

Dancing excitedly as if to music. The only sounds are those of a wooden cart passing by and a distant dog howling

"You don't want to know!"

"Yeah! Shield Maiden! Coin-slave! The hero! Emperor assassin! New god!" Crazy cackle

"Oh! I didn't mean i wanted to eat you! Sherbet and Boiled Scrod are my favorite foods! Eating bodies is only a sometimes treat if Miss Maiden says it's okay."

"I love the smell of mildew! Really works up the appetite!"

Waves! "Hi! I'm Hubie! You've got this, Mister Mildew!"

Clapping and cheering for the damp mage

"So then why do people try?"

"Who's ever heard of a goblin taking a bath? No one, that's who!"

He's climbed up a tree. Peering down from its branches. "... what kind of food?"

"NEVERRRR!!!" Ability Activated: Slippery

SCREAMS "You'll never catch me!"