Today was feeling almost too heavy to bear. Then we played some games in a discord party with friends and I feel 75% better! And the snow is gorgeous right now.

Really grateful to have a whole season of Australian Taskmaster to binge during another terrible week.

Brew Earl Gray tea for 7 min, Cool tea in fridge overnight (or use ice), add about 1:1 parts tea and whole milk to glass and then 3 pumps vanilla Torani and 3 pumps lavender syrup (DaVinci is good). Stir or froth. It's great hot or iced; I like iced because I'm a New Englander with no soul. So good.

closed last week I was terribly sad for the owner and her customers (and myself) I love the treat of a beautiful cup of tea. So I bought all the ingredients for the Salem Fog, which is a London Fog with added lavender, to make it at home. I watched the kids at Rosadela's make them so many times. 2/3

So many people are having such a hard time right now with everything. It feels like anything could be the last straw before a total collapse. What are some good things in your life that are keeping you strong (ish)? When my favorite place to get tea...1/3

This is the first time.

I'm in a mode that includes sleeping a little bit later, wool socks, fresh baked cookies, and thinking/talking about soup. I can feel the protective turning inward working, but wonder if it will be a match for the shit storm that's coming with bird flu, the orange idiot and his flunkies, and winter.

It's the 3rd or January and I'm already reading 4 books at the same time. How does this always happen?

In a bid to fix my stupid depression I got dressed and dragged my 15 yo daughter to Costco. It actually helped a bit. Helped a lady carry heavy detergent. All the samples were either candy, holiday treats, or soup. They had cherries on sale. I had half a hot dog. Feel guilty that capitalism helped.

How 2 out of 3 pups watch movies together.

A deep depression just whammed the fuck out of me this week out of nowhere. I'm usually big on finding silver linings but, holy shit, this week feels meaningless. All my usual self care BS feels performative and false. I'm eating and drinking water and reading and that's all I've got.

Just realized that I need to read 3 more books this month in order to meet my goal of surpassing my # of books from last year. I'm cheating by sorting my TBR list by page number and shooting for the low page counts. I think I can do this.

Every time I go to Trader Joe's it's always the worst possible time to go there. Today I watched 2 women argue over the last box of seasonal Joe-Joes. It was getting intense until someone wheeled a cart full of them down the aisle to restock. The parking lot's insane. Are the cookies worth it? Yes

I look in the mirror and see all the things I wanted for myself when I was a teenager. I have an amazing family, my body is healthier than it has been in years thanks to being in remission, I'm covered in tattoos, I have wonderful friends, my ideas are heard and valuable.

I feel like we made the best choices for advent calendars this year.

The thing about Die Hard is that no matter how many times I watch it, I still get mad when John McClane takes off his shoes when he first gets to Nakatomi Plaza.

It's enjoyable to listen to a house full of teenagers boisterously chatting, singing, and laughing. No, wait. That's just 2 of the loudest kids who have ever existed taking over my living room and drinking all my soda.

I slept until 10 this morning and that's a major accomplishment for me lately. Sleep used to be my main medicine and perimenopause has been stealing it away from me. I was sleeping 10 hours a night and now I'm lucky to get 7 or 8. Last night I got 11! Yay! Still tired though...

I cooked for 10 hours today. I have zero plans to help clean this house. I'm laying in bed reading a holiday mystery until I have to face the turkey in the morning.

I used this little buddy to peel 5 lbs of potatoes, 3 lbs of sweet potatoes, and 10 apples. It is so fuckin sweet. Totally worth 20 bucks and even comes with replacement blades.

I had one of those comedy of errors kind of days where I was either late or early for everything I had to go to, technology failed all around me, it was raining, and I'm trying to psych myself up for a long day of cooking and cleaning tomorrow. But then this little beauty arrived and all is well.

Worked on my Thanksgiving spreadsheets today. How many spreadsheets with how many tabs is the normal amount to have? Separate one for the house cleaning with 1 tab for every room? For me, the spreadsheets are part of the fun. The neurodivergence in this household is strong.

There's a new-ish restaurant in Salem. I went today for my second visit and it made me tear up it was so good. The kind of food and drinks that make you feel like the owners are saying that they love you. Congrats to Maitland Farm Kitchen.

The mind fuckery of long Covid is awful. Am I tired because: poor sleep? Perimenopause? Not enough protein? Did too much yesterday? A germ tipped off long Covid and symptoms return? No idea, but I got unplugged around noon for the day. Doctor says "we still don't know enough" and is an expert.

This sweet girl stole an entire roll of Ritz crackers from the pantry shelf, brought them upstairs, and left them on my daughter's bed. Tasty snack left by Tanuki > Gross dead mouse left by other cats. I wish I had been here to watch her carrying them around.

One thing that's interesting about living in this blue corner of the US is how often I meet folks who moved here to save their LGBTQIA+ kids. Such a pleasure to share our beautiful part of the world with them.

When we got Kermit it was assumed he would max out at 45 lbs. He is now 65lbs. Here's his before and after because he got some puppy primping today.

When the dog groomer called and said Kermit is her favorite doodle and she looks forward to his appointments I realized I'm a gold medal winner in a sport I didn't know existed.

2 yrs ago I got our Thanksgiving meal supplies delivered from Whole Foods because I didn't have the spoons (stage 4 endo. and pre-op hyst.). It was $425 for a meal for 9 people. Today we went to Market Basket and it was $210 for 10 people. Same exact meal and supplies. And we went to Danvers (fancy)

If you were wondering how my early 40s are going... According to my history I have searched "how far ahead I can buy Brussels sprouts?" 4 times in the last 2 weeks. The answer is always a week. So, today is finally the day I can buy those sprouts! Good! Exciting!

Here we are reporting for family therapy only missing 1 dog and the cats. We feel strongly that doodles benefit from the family therapy atmosphere, so Kermit earned that couch spot. Cinnamon has a history of trauma that manifests as imposter syndrome so she believes she deserves the floor.

I got these great new boots that make me taller and infinitely cooler, but damn they are so heavy. These are the things I think about when I'm disassociating, but in a fashionable way. Don't worry about me, I'm just thinking about shoes.