The goodest boy.

Trump isn’t going to be peaceful because he didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize. Someone needs to tell him he didn’t get the Orange Prize for fiction either.

The right would be all for digital ID if they were able to turn women’s identity photos into bikini shots

Twitter is basically the PornHub comments section but a bit more misogynistic and with more porn.

Looks like Maduro has entered the US illegally

Loves his blankets

Merry Christmas from McTominay!

Jake Paul and Andrew Tate took as much punishment in the ring as a married Republican's Grindr hook-up.

They must have let Andrew be the cover star.

Barely a sign in English in London today. The invasion is complete

In the spirit of the Epstein files this is my statement on who funds me. Hope this clears things up.

My boy.

Nigel gets his first lesson in misogyny and says he picked it up in no time.

Spy kitten!

My new rescue cat. Isn’t he gorgeous. He’s a bit nervous but very sweet.

Hearing that the far-right are going to start a movement called You’re Party

A mate of my postman told him that in his local council you have to apply for planning permission to put up a Christmas tree! Even worse the decision is made by a Sharia Court! Unbelievable. You couldn’t make it up!

It’s a shame that landlords never say “if we make them pay more they might leave“.

A mate of my postman told him that in his local council you have to apply for planning permission to put up a Christmas tree! Even worse the decision is made by a Sharia Court! Unbelievable. You couldn’t make it up!

A lot of overconfident Reform supporters will have red faces this morning. No change there then

How do you approach your Russian backers after losing in Wales? Very Caerphilly.

Breaking: Starmer to allow the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to compete at next years Badminton Horse Trials.

Breaking: Starmer to allow the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to compete at next years Badminton Horse Trials.

I for one am more than willing to get twatted in the face my a Maccabi Tel Aviv supporter to prove the UK isn’t anti-Semitic. I hope you are too.

Liz’s Green Cross Code. Look right, look far right, cause a massive crash.

Need to warn you that a load of centrists from Twitter are moving over here. Please be careful out there

I have met many Americans and I would like to assure everyone that the clowns and hoodlums at the Ryder Cup are entirely typical.

Beautiful Hackney

Managed to photograph one of them immigrants catching a swan yesterday. disgusting!!!

Chapel Roan cancels UK tour after immigrant eating her fears

Managed to photograph one of them immigrants catching a swan yesterday. disgusting!!!

“Do you think having a pedo dad can give you autism?”

Scientists have discovered a link between being off your tits most of your life and ending up looking like this.

The American mind will never comprehend the parrots ate ‘em all joke.

Vampire hunter spots Trump and Musk entering the building.

Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s this Charlie Kirk gadgie?

Hearing that Trump will be allowing extra immigrants in shortly to replace all the people who are fired after laughing when he croaks

Happy Caturday from this trip hazard

Trump has formed a private army. The Democrats are boycotting Disney+

Greenwich Peninsula

They're talking about Reform here I think.

Yesterday Starmer managed to deport a sexual predator, a fraudster, a nonce’s friend and a compulsive liar. Unfortunately they were all Donald Trump.

The first foreign criminal gets deported from the UK. Well done Starmer

They just tear-gassed us. They tried to run us over in a van holding a peaceful protester. They shot us with pepper balls. They dragged another protester into the facility.

Toby Young looking like a blind boiled egg.

The Mandalorian sucks anyway.

To be fair we did try any cancel Rylan.

Now we can’t laugh at liberal comedians we’ll just have to concentrate on laughing at the right instead

He would have stuck in his throat anyway.