Oh aye. Ohhhhh ayyyye.

Muse, why have you forsaken me?

And that's a taut twenty! Fucck. AHHH.

Over here child!

Wonderful fuckery. Scared the pants off me.

You could try a little more oomph. NEXT ONE GOES THROUGH YOUR FUCKIN EYEBALL. NOW WHERE'S THE LOOT? WHERE'S THE FUCKIN LOOT?!

Well, that was some weird shit.

The Gentleman Pirate I presume?

Lot of your friends are troubled aren't they? ❦ Ya, well. They are pirates.

You wrote me a lovely letter!

I yearn to make sweet love to the sea.

This is Stede? Like Stede, STEDE?

O k a y. Why you being like that? Why you being a dick?

Do you think he's better looking than me? He's got nice hair. His moustache is weird.

My name’s Stede. I'll be your robber here today!

I haven't even told you about the little man who died in my lap! He wasn't even a child! Just a very small man!

Real quick, I heard that you think the vibe here on the ship is poisonous.

What I'm hearing is they could do with more structure. Perhaps a firmer hand.

Crew of Revenge, you are not to engage. You are simply here to observe how real pirates function in the real world.

And... is that still on the cards or...?

Mutiny or no, we're going to need a scary flag.

Congratulations on today's raid. I do have some notes though.

You won't want to stay the fuck away from... THIS CAAAAAKE!

That's very kind. And accurate.

Ed? Do you know this guy? He's a complete asshole.

I know how to relax! I'm actually quite relaxed right now- FUCK YOU FUCKING NATURE FUCK AAH FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING SNAKE FUCK YOU AAH DIE!

I didn't conquer China by letting people go o n and o n about their feelings.

Good luck with your fishing!

These wee black dots look a bit Spanish to me, waddya think?

You are so fucking hot right now.

Oh ya, I've heard of you. I've heard a l l about you.

Ahoy! Surrender! You've no chance of escape!

Well, no actually. Science. Because women have crystals in their body, and the crystals attract demons. And the demons attract misfortune.

Theatre of Fear! Love that.

Not moving on is worse.

Hey. D'you wanna do something weird?

And some maniac got rid of the wheel!

Shut up. You're an idiot. And you're banished.

Ohhh leave it! You know you're the o n l y one that believes he's worked with Blackbeard?

Don't debase yourself for a man who hasn't a single tureen on board!

That's actually quite a cheap scare. I'm thinking more along the lines of psychological.

It is meant to be this shaky?

Oh, and then there was the time with the horse! When we made you french kiss the horse!

Ya, we love an audience.

Mutiny? Really? I can't believe it. Why??

You know, I thought I'd have a cooler death than this. Something like being eaten by a tiger, or massaged to death my mermaids or... belly flopping into a volcano.

He kills children? ❦ Well, it has to be a really bad kid. He's not a bloody monster.

Well, that's hard to say because I don't feel fear.

Nothing to be ashamed of. Anything goes at sea.

Well, here it is. High society in all its grotesque glory.