I know y'all are eager to dunk on Donald, but using gen-ai that LITERALLY POISONS WATER in poor communities of color to uhhhh, protest his treatment of people of color is a little fucked up but i hope you enjoyed your 5 minutes of social media clout #NoKings #NoKingsDay

while y'all are stanning Taylor's new album here's a picture that her PR team has desperately tried to bury but the great thing about the internet is that you truly cannot kill anything once it's uploaded

edgelord reddit atheists WISH they could blaspheme on the level that Evangelicals do on a daily basis

if it was a legitimate shooting, the alpha male's body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down

21 Pilots releasing a new album on September 12th means we're gonna have two pilot-related tragedies one right after the other that week

we don't support billionaires in this house

I know that Aubrey Plaza was only joking on Amy Poehler's podcast about not having watched Parks & Rec but like I wouldn't want to watch myself fall in love with Chris Pratt, either

Trent Reznor if he was on The Muppets: What have I become... my Swedish friend...

every time somebody talks about Bezos' wedding in Venice, I remember that we didn't clown on him nearly enough for sexting "i love you alive girl" to his current wife while cheating on his last wife

the job market is in shambles

the only fucking thing trump won't pass is away

reminder that the Jesus that Christians claim to follow was never & never will be on the side of people trying to convince you that it's okay to oppress, starve, bomb, and kill others.

apple showing an amex on their apple pay ads is some top tier comedy bc for the last 5 yrs, mine declines 75% of the time & they send me a text asking if i just tried to run that transaction, but when i tap the physical card in my wallet it magically always works w/ no issues

how long do we have until ChatGPT spits out highly-classified intel to some rando because it's pulling from info that one of our incompetent-ass, lazy-ass govt officials fed to it

Andor is peak Star Wars because what do you MEEEAAANNNN Luthen has Jar Jar Binks' skull with a sith emblem on it in his gallery lmaaaaooooo

There's a Lincoln Continental somewhere out there with more Kennedy brains in its backseat than this clown has between his ears. Shit, they left Rosemary with more brains than the worm left ol' Robby.

when people say shit like "i'm conservative and even i think this is funny" actually, you should always be clowning on politicians regardless of your political party. they aren't here for you to worship & revere. they can always do better. if you aren't clowning on them you're in a cult.

Paper Straws is one of the dumbest greenwashing scams that Americans have fallen for "they're biodegradable" yeah i know. they biodegrade in transit and storage from humidity if they're not wrapped in—you guessed it—SINGLE USE PLASTIC

RIP to the only pope ever to use gay slurs that are EXCLUSIVELY used by gay italian men to talk about OTHER gay men #frociaggine #popefrancis

people have lost so much faith in Target that their stock is currently at a 6 year all time low

when bill murray once tweeted "every olympic event should include one average person competing for reference" that's how i feel about gal gadot's acting

i've done a lot of cringe, dipshit fuckass loser shit in my life but at least i've never been a top level govt official sending emoji reacts to a warcrimes group text

US Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick telling Fox News viewers to buy TSLA feels VERY illegal but I guess we don't have laws in this country anymore. "it'll never be this cheap again" bro it CAN and WILL get cheaper as long as Elmo is there. Get those put contracts in now, folks.

in #Mickey17 Mickey blames himself for the death of his mom. We know immediately that it's not his fault because she was driving an SW20 MR2 & everyone knows they will spin you into a ditch/light pole/parked car if you so much as breathe wrong behind the wheel.

Actually the National Weather Service and NOAA are fucking wonderful public resources because who else is gonna tell me days in advance when it’s going to dump rain so I can make birria the night before

someone needs to start green goblin whispering into trump's ear about anime being anti-american because him trying to executive-order it out of existence is the only way conservative men will ever turn their backs on him

i didn't take any pictures at the capitol today, but i hope this sign brought some laughs to anyone that saw it #phoenix #arizona #fiftyfiftyone #r/50501

more from yesterday #phoenix #arizona #r/50501

#phoenix #arizona #r/50501

probably because engineering jobs in the UK already pay hilariously low wages, and engineering jobs in F1 are a race to the bottom in that specific niche

edward hopper never painting a single frog is the biggest missed opportunity in the history of art

sometimes your pets wake you up early on a saturday. sometimes that's okay.

the point of the trump admin proposing cancelling federal aid programs is to drive people to the church btw. extremist fundies want the church to be **only** source of aid for people.

truly love the way that cats are just like this all the time. 11/10 beasts

babe are you okay? i saw you taking liminal aesthetic pictures at 2am outside the waffle house again

if you get an std at a Breakfast At Tiffany's themed group sex event, they call it orgy hep burn

when people say Germans don't have a sense of humor, i point them to the gondolas for a ski resort in southern Germany on Mount Wank that take you up to... you guessed it — the Wankhaus

i love that 407,000 US soldiers gave their lives in WW2 so that an uncool, crusty, billionaire nepo baby from south africa could do a nazi salute in front of the president and the entire world today

the wife of a Bytedance board member gave $1.4mm to the Trump campaign, so let's not act like this was anything more than orchestrated PR for that orange twat

americans learning mandarin to use rednote meanwhile the majority of the chinese population here in america don't even speak mandarin

the far-reaching implications of governments banning apps they can't control aside, will y'all stop using words like unalive and seggs and other speak that infantilizes adult topics and is solely meant to appease an advertising algorithm?

i don't argue with people online anymore after finding out that 54% of American adults can't read above a 6th grade level

ever since i was a little boy i knew i wanted to annoy the hell out of my cat

had to pick up that Good Good™ on the way home from the farmers market from top to bottom: - shumai (pork dumplings) - har gow (shrimp dumplings) - taiwanese beef rolls - xiaolongbao (soup dumplings)

facebook/instagram: we're getting rid of fact-checking because right-wing brodudes get their fee fees hurt when it happens to them facts: i do, in fact, care about their feelings. which is why i'm bowing out to give my brother, Lies, a chance to shine

"why didn't the eagles just fly sam and frodo to mordor?" the eagles if gandalf wasn't there to supervise them:

no one: darkest timeline sabrina carpenter: eXspresso