If the Jaguars win the Super Bowl the NFL will really be showing their pro-London bias

As a parent and a football fan I move to abolish all point-related kicking from football because watching the misses makes me sad

Grok, I see a woman creeping around in the wallpaper. Put her in a tasteful one-piece

Jose Ramirez

Bari Weiss refusing to publish “Bartleby the Scrivener” because Melville “was unable to get quotes from the title character”

Looking forward to hearing Trump explain how our chocolate rations have gone from 40 grams all the way up to 20 grams, numbers no one has ever seen before quite honestly

The Browns have a D-lineman named Alex Wright and I always get sad when he doesn’t dance after his sacks

Don’t go to commercial during The Temptations you monsters

I got the duck to swallow the chicken, but the turkey is really resisting gobbling down the duck. Hypnotists on call?

I’ve been telling students for years that if they use AI for their writing they’ll go to Hell and now it’s official

If the Pistons lose their next 65 games they will still end up with a better record than they did two seasons ago

The Shedeur Sanders era begins with 2 hopeful completions unceremoniously interrupted by a giant sack. Try not to be too on the nose, Cleveland writers

I agree that books from 1890-1930 are so fucking Alpha. Red Badge of Courage? Fucking MANLY war shit. The Jungle? Guys fucking falling into industrial vats, real Joker stuff. Orlando? Haven’t read it, but the author’s last name is Woolf so you know it’s as Alpha as it gets

Today, I once again honor those who continue to embody what it means to be crafty: Mercedes Lewis, Al Horford, and Rich Hill among others.

It’s the same list as Pope Leo XIII (1878-1903), except “TRAIN IS COMING RIGHT AT US!!” has climbed to #1

Elon was the one who bought a signed first edition of The Iliad for Jennifer Lopez

Heh heh, I’d hate to be the guy playing against Johnathan Taylor in fantasy youtu.be/FQu0dxbTUHc?...

Continuing to project competency and 21st century winning

With his last breath, Dick Cheney whispers “Babylon.” A snowglobe depicting nuclear winter in a desert landscape rolls out of his hand, shattering. But what appeared to be sand is actually yellowcake uranium. Everyone around him dies needlessly.

Oh no, Blue Jays have Brad Paisley warming up in the bullpen

Should never have lied about Reagan’s tariffs

Dodgers should cut Ohtani

Stay after the Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere Credits to see Harry Belafonte approach Bruce to form the We Are the World initiative

I think bad NFL reffing luck is like the movie It Follows. You gotta pass it on to the next team before it really gets you. Lions and it, handed it to Tampa. Next week the Saints are about to contract a bad case of yellow flag

Exit, pursued by a claims adjuster

Looks like you want me to degrade you—fantastic! Would you like me to call you a dirty name? I can create a spreadsheet of moderately cruel insults—perhaps something related to current events of 2023?

Vardaman’s mother is not a fish. I mean, come on—she’s clearly a woman.

Naylor’s baserunning reminds me of my favorite mashup videos youtu.be/hvgeDTVJpx0?...

Tigers playoff MVP is E3

The Tigers were serving these Green Goblin projectiles tonight so let’s hope they don’t get 0-17 with RISP

Who put Nelson Cruz’ soul in Julio Rodriguez

I do like the Mariners trident thing. I think a team should have a series of larger and larger containers and at the end of the season they open the final mammoth container and it’s just the first one all over again

FS1 seemingly having budget problems with their strike zone shading account

New Lewis and Clark epic faces backlash as Tilly Norwood is cast as Sacajawea

Parker Meadows should only be allowed to bunt. His position should be CenterBunter. His name should be Bunter Meadows.

James Bond returns in “From Cheboygan With Love”

The best offensive play in the NFL is now the blocked FG

“Brotherhood, it’s actually pronounced Mag-NET-oh.”

Looking for an AirBnB in Riyadh in April 2027 if anyone has recs or knows of a good taco place

Does the left need its own AI AI Joe Rogan?

Did Jim Nantz make a 6-7 joke

Doctors I trust more than RFK Jr

Watching football and a Keith Hernandez Seinfeld episode broke out

2029 Inauguration Preview

I considered writing a long carefully constructed argument laying out the harms and limitations of AI, but instead I wrote about being a hater. Only humans can be haters.

Cowboys jealous of the Mavericks #1 overall pick. “We don’t need no daggum lottery,” Jerry Jones crows to his morning bowl of cottage cheese

Tom Clancy’s Just Give Me the Damn Ball!

They changed the logo so no one would notice they replaced the peg game with a slightly different and cheaper peg game and now they’re calling it “Cracker Barrel Classic”