jordan ππ§
@jordo.bsky.social
π€ 729
π₯ 152
π 3915
i love frogs and girls' generation
https://jordanmallory.itch.io/instrument
pinned post!
okay here's the official post! my very first short story, INSTRUMENT, is out now on itch. π₯³ it's about a guy named Stanley who buys a rare guitar at an estate sale, and things go downhill. i hope you like it!!
jordanmallory.itch.io/instrument
3 months ago
0
17
8
love a tetris game that isn't afraid to give me four of the same piece in a row. hurt me! that's why i'm here!!
1 day ago
0
6
0
when trump does finally die, as we all will eventually, the lobster bucket of the GOP will be ripe for boiling. we do not need the squeamish in charge of prepping for dinner.
1 day ago
0
14
0
there's a shot at the end of cabaret, where someone drives by a crime scene where a nazi has murdered a jewish person in the street, and all the bystanders are just frozen, standing there looking at the corpse in the road. its both literally shocking on its face and symbolic of the entire situation;
1 day ago
1
7
0
i was hoping that this would be the year i sorta reintegrated into regular society, got back out into the world and made new IRL friends and worked on my anxiety disorder and stuff like that, but i think maybe i'll just stay indoors for another decade
1 day ago
0
8
0
reposted by
jordan ππ§
you would not believe what time i didnβt know it was
4 days ago
0
7
1
release amplitude 2016 on the epic store challenge
2 days ago
1
2
0
so is gandalf just like, cosplaying?
2 days ago
1
2
0
we can sell it in a bundle with Tues. Spider-Man
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
0
3
0
remember when biden was like "the supreme court has made the power of the presidency virtually unlimited" and then proceeded to just like, not do anything? i've been thinking about that a lot the last couple days
2 days ago
1
10
0
i guess i just expected more immediate and explosive outrage, but it just seems like everyone is scared? i wanted red-alert all hands on deck screaming from the rooftops about this being the beginning of the end of everything and all i'm getting is "we want a briefing" and "this is a distraction"
3 days ago
0
2
0
man i'm pretty mad that we had to start the year and go straight into this horseshit i'm gonna be honest
3 days ago
1
7
0
i have not seen a single journalist bring up the concept of extradition, why it exists and how it is deeply relevant to all of this
4 days ago
0
6
0
reposted by
jordan ππ§
Fang Guu ππ§ ENVtuber
4 days ago
π΄ NOW LIVE π΄ Let's play Snowboard Kids GUU (2)!!! πβ¨
twitch.tv/fangguu
0
31
6
you would not believe what time i didnβt know it was
4 days ago
0
7
1
one of those plug-in wax warmers but for crude oil
4 days ago
0
4
0
real?
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
0
3
0
i don't think
@billcorbett.bsky.social
et al got enough credit for inventing wikipedia during the first Space Mutiny host segment
4 days ago
0
2
0
it'll never happen, but can you imagine how good a studio ghibli klonoa movie would be
5 days ago
1
8
0
the faces in the oblivion remake are crazy why are everyone's eyebrows like that
5 days ago
0
2
0
i think it's interesting that retro indie aesthetics went from pixel art straight to low-poly and totally skipped the rasterized sprites era in the middle
5 days ago
0
8
0
In the morning, the human crawls from its sleeping pile and retreats to its den of shame maintenance, where it expels waste and other detritus from its many orifices. Afterwards itβs time for breakfast: 60 whole eggs, hastily gathered from rival nests the night before.
5 days ago
2
7
0
sometimes i wonder if maybe i just actually like controllers
5 days ago
2
14
1
the neo geo didn't have memory cards in my universe of origin
5 days ago
0
0
0
if you were a dragon or a t-rex or something and you just chomped a guy all in one go, what's that going to taste like? copper? can't imagine it would be good
5 days ago
3
8
0
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
0
2
0
interrupting someone's story with "and this is a dream you had?" is a great way to not only show them that you weren't listening but also that you don't care, and this can be deeply funny depending on the situation
5 days ago
1
72
3
Accountability can't come from the UN since the US has veto power, and it can't come from the courts because trump can pardon himself and everyone involved, even if congress were to pursue action, which it won't. So, where then does accountability come from?
6 days ago
1
5
0
if you wanna be twice as mad as you already are i highly recommend chuck's official statement
6 days ago
0
3
0
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
1
47
8
reposted by
jordan ππ§
Jack
6 days ago
what the fuck man
1
6
2
bloodthirsty lunatics beyond the reach of all accountability or consequence
6 days ago
0
10
0
you get to heaven and it's just huge plastic cups of orange triaminic for as far as the eye can see
6 days ago
0
1
0
i always feel bad putting a bug back outside, like yeah man i get it i don't want to be out there either
6 days ago
0
11
1
being sick alone sucks man you donβt get to have someone bring you water or pat your head or anything
7 days ago
2
8
0
my tamagotchi was like a son to me. when he died in that car accident i went to the bathroom and cried for hours
7 days ago
0
2
0
7 days ago
1
158
23
near-daily one or both of my parents send an AI-generated instagram reel to the group chat and us kids have to suss out whether they realize it's AI or not. they usually don't, and we've taught them how to check for the label instagram has but there are so many videos just not using it. i hate it!
7 days ago
2
10
0
reposted by
jordan ππ§
michael lutz
8 days ago
add a skeleton here at some point
13
591
176
let's never do that again ok?
8 days ago
0
9
0
2026's joke just dropped
add a skeleton here at some point
8 days ago
1
11
1
the ninja turtles are metropolitan cryptids
8 days ago
0
3
0
okay i think the sudafed is making me more congested somehow is that possible
8 days ago
2
1
0
reposted by
jordan ππ§
here's the official 2026 bingo card
9 days ago
3
34
12
it would solve a lot of problems if retailers had to disclose their markup at checkout
8 days ago
0
7
0
"at least i'm going into the new year with clean sheets" is the most 38 years old thought i've ever had
8 days ago
0
10
0
"this wasn't the worst year of my life but it was close," he wrote for the eighth year in a row
8 days ago
0
13
0
here's the official 2026 bingo card
9 days ago
3
34
12
i have never in my life had a decongestant actually clear me out, the most it ever does is make one nostril extremely dry and the other completely inoperable
9 days ago
1
11
0
gonna put a bowl of cereal in the air fryer and see what happens
11 days ago
4
10
0
today i learned that snap-on used to produce an analogue oscilloscope called the "anal-o-scope"
11 days ago
0
8
0
Load more
feeds!
log in