lady gaga performing brown eyes for the first time in 15 years while on tour in japan is a very specific punishment meant just for me

finding out that i’ve been calculating my weights wrong for months lol

ok i’m going to bed but before i do i just think collectively we’d all be better off if we could just all agree that jameela jamil is the hottest woman alive

not my mom having a hand quilted Rush blanket

i do it for the buttered toast

MONEY HOMOSEX BUTTER i can work with this

and we’re back

all this for an extra big mac

ok but can we please have another band like no doubt i 2026??

thank you fitting room lighting 🫰🏻

“You’ll be visited by three spirits” The three spirits:

cooking means eventually making something you think will be good and instead it’s gross AND you wasted time and ingredients and tonight was my turn. I better not see another god damned green lentil for a good long while

visiting my parents and playing a game of which will drive me to the edge first: the temperature inside the house or the wifi speeds literally being 9Mbps

i love having a little uniform that you’ll always find me in

coming out as a white chocolate enjoyer

marry the night playing at 7am at the gym?? if you asked me before i would say i didnt believe in signs but this feels like i should rethink that

putting frozen veggies in my freezer and finding the flavor ice i’d forgotten that i squirreled away for myself

anyway go stream sympathy is a knife lol

lift heavy weights 🙂‍↕️ lift heavy donuts 🙂‍↕️

i moved to philly and so far have spent more time away for work than i have in the city and probably won’t have a contiguous weekend there until october??

imagine hating me and i’m just over here squeezing my titties in my new big boy social club tee @ohheydj.bsky.social

every queen who hopes to win snatch game in the future should be paying attention

started going to the gym exactly 6 weeks ago and in the past 42 days i’ve worked out 35 times. i may still look like the stay puft marshmallow man but i definitely don’t feel like him and i just think that’s neat

me when i’m a cunty chess pawn

sorry to be repetitive but strange new worlds is the best thing to happen to star trek in decades

dc being under martial law and realizing how close we are to a complete takeover is genuinely so insane meanwhile all of our collective republican families are like lalala haha wow monday again, totally normal, he’s cleaning up the streets, god is so good wow

got into the hotel room and it’s already set for 65??? FUCK 🗣️

no one loves a tuna melt like i do. you might like them but i like them in a different, better way

fuck ICE and every coward “just following orders”

people died

found him!

no ts madison for the finale??? oh this is about to be sideways judging

waking up this morning to find out republicans voted in the middle of the night to defund public broadcasting, rural radio, and EMERGENCY ALERTS

Important update for those of you that backed the kickstarter campaign for the Big Boy Social Club cropped mesh jersey! TL;DR: FILL OUT YOUR BACKER SURVEY! 🙏🏾💖😘

Gaga played summerboy AND aura last night??? 😭😭😭

finding out rufus wainwright’s daughter is a swifty is a special kind of injustice. your dad being a lyrical genius and then succumbing to taylor’s lyrics genuinely makes me sad!!! lol

suddenly my childhood all makes sense

i’m just not meant for the heat, truly

what’s happening on my uber driver’s dashboard is none of my business

close enough, happy pride!

this is who runs this account

authors love to be like, OoOooh what if a murder-mystery author was IN a murder mystery and then they have to solve on in real life, isn’t that crazy??

to absolutely no one’s surprise, i’m headed to a farmer’s market

moving to chicago in the morning, packed (and will absolutely forget something), so i took myself to dinner

tolkien was a freak!! i didn’t know the hobbit was actually smut

i guess i need to catch up on all stars, i haven’t even finished the first bracket lol

coming home after 3 days of travel hell and finding not one but TWO ice cold tepaches that i’d squirreled away for myself in the fridge for when i got home

there are zendaya hats everywhere for those with the eyes to see

straight people and mosh pits what is the attraction??

so not be like 🫨 but the MAYOR of Newark was just arrested by ICE