Sometimes adding psychedelics is the wise choice.

We'd been planning a nexus flip as we haven't had a trip in ages, and it seemed like good timing before starting new meds. I've had a spanner thrown in the works and I don't know if I'm in the headspace now and that's just making me sadder and it's all just on a loop 😞

Alright, ADHD meds attempt #3. I've been very aware I've been off the old ones for a week, while it didn't feel like they were doing much, it's become very obvious they were doing more than I thought. It's been utterly dysfunctional.

Ok I've just discovered dark chocolate kinder buenos, and they're fucking amazing 🤩

Ok so I'm ridiculously excited for Pokopia. Cosy game where you're playing a Ditto? Hell yes please 😁

I wish my emotions worked like fucking normal people. I tried to exchange a bra that was a little too small in the cup and couldn't. I've put on so much weight because I've been so depressed and leaving the flat is so scary, and this bra was just bright pink and perfect and made me feel like me.

Alright, doctor is going to swap ADHD meds as concerned about low mood since starting, changing from methylphenidate to lisdexamfetamine. Hopefully this will be more effective too. Will be interesting to see over the next few days if discontinuing improves my mood any, or if it's just other factors.

My partner just adopted a baby in Stardew Valley and called it Doodoo Head. He's sat there giggling to himself about it so fucking proud. I roll my eyes but his childish side for some stupid reason is endearing. But don't tell him I said that.

I forgot how nice short tattoo sessions are and actually having a little energy and walking the 20 mins home. My last two sessions were six hours and I was so exhausted I had to get a cab back that embarrassingly short distance back.

I'm still so shocked every time I get IDed. I was born in the 80s guys, I have to start looking my age at some point surely.

I am wildly intolerant to onions, which makes my life a fucking misery. I recently read that digestive enzyme complex couple potentially help this, so I'm having my first onion rings since a particularly brutal incident a couple of years ago. Should be interesting to see if it works.

I'm feeling like more of an alien than a human. I don't really know how to navigate existing anymore. I feel like I haven't withdrawn enough and I'm still too much. And even saying all this I realise how fucking self centred I am and I do make everything about myself. I just wish I didn't feel.

Had my first interview in over a year, just supposed to be a casual chat but jesus wept, I can't sell myself anymore, I kind of have no idea what my skill set even is or what I've done or can do. Like it's to be expected, my confidence is kind of more shot than ever, but I used to be good at this.

Obviously I take internet tests that are trying to get you to download their app with a pinch of salt, but this isn't great 😞 fuck my life. I miss when things felt like they were getting better.

Increasing my mood stabilizers since my mental health has completely plummeted the last month. I don't know how much more of life I can actually fucking take if things don't get better.

Was supposed to be upping the dose of ADHD meds today, but last night my heart spent about an hour feeling fluttery. Messaged the doctor who said reduce the dose today, I've just had a couple of palpitations 😞 this is going to be another saga like trying to find an antidepressant all over again.

Just remembered I had a stranger compliment my outfit earlier, and it was nothing special, just my everyday clothes, which kind of makes it even nicer 🥰

Watching Temptation Island and one of the participants is called Alexa. Her partner just said "Alexa I love you" which triggered my actual Alexa and she sang a little I Love You song 🤣 funnier than it should have been.

> plays Spiritfarer > falls in love with the characters and the story and the music > finds out there's an orchestra that tours the music > orchestra is playing London in a few days and mostly expensive seating left > realise you have plans anyway and feel minor relief but also FOMO

Just started Spiritfarer, it's a visually stunning game with a lovely premise, but my god it's just another game to despise fishing in.

I had a brutal and necessary therapy session earlier and now I just can't move. I need to put on laundry, I need to get some washing up done, I really should have gone to my volunteer job since I didn't go yesterday. I'm just screaming at myself to just get the fuck up and I can't move at all.

Hold The Line is definitely my new karaoke song.

Thank you internet for calling me the fuck out 😞

Tw: suicide I haven't wanted to kill myself this much in years. I haven't actively hurt myself in years until today. I literally shouldn't exist. I'm literally a fucking burden who thought they were getting better but apparently is getting worse and just needs to not be in anyone's lives.

Are you even on holiday if you don't manage to accidentally take public transport in the wrong direction at least once?

This might just be the Tylenol talking but I’m pretty sure the world would be a better place if more people were autistic

The last reel I watched before bed had Blink-182 in the background. I don't know if you've ever tried to sleep with All The Small Things furiously stuck in your head, but it doesn't work. There will be no rest tonight.

I entirely forgot it was Bisexual day of Visibility today. I just happened to be wearing a pink, purple and blue dress today 🩷💜🩵 clearly my subconscious knew when I got dressed. The real giveaway should have been when I looked in the mirror and actually saw my reflection.

I just got tickets for Stardew Valley: Symphony of Seasons in London 😁 it's been a while since I've seen a live orchestra, so seeing one play music from my favourite game should be pretty magical 🥰

AHHHH I HATE NOT SMOKING 😭 I mean, only really after meals. Today is day 4 and cravings are kicking my ass 😔

Since having a terrifying 6ish hour long allergy induced asthma attack on Sunday, I decided now is the kick in the teeth I need to finally quit smoking. It's day 3 and I've been suspicious about how few cravings I've had... Until my partner pointed out my antidepressant is also a stop smoking drug 🤣

I love the NHS, I really do, but 111 saying I'll get a call within an hour, then getting it over six hours later kind of takes the piss.

Yaaaaay look what just arrived!

There's nothing like eating a whole tub of Ben & Jerry's after hysterically crying... To just not feel better at all 😞

Our choice of film after day one of three of the Brighton burlesque festival is the Full Monty. Obvious entertainment for drunk junk food.

My autism assessment is booked for next month! It'll be nice to finally have an answer one way or another.

The dress I ordered for an event Thursday turned up today, so just in time. I just tried it on and genuinely was so happy at how amazing it looked on me I actually cried a little - I haven't had that reaction to my reflection in a really long time.

Have an old friend down for the weekend who I literally haven't seen since my wedding 13 years ago, and it's like no time has passed at all. I'm so glad she's here, it's wonderful to finally get to catch up 🥰

ADHD meds are so close 😁

Thankfully it's been a long time since someone said I'll change my mind, or I'm selfish for being child free, or any of the other bingo phrases. But if they try, I shall remember this.

Jesus Christ I'm too much of a wimp to exist. Went into a cafe to grab a coffee before going to a career fair, a person in a power chair reversed and the beep was SO LOUD I jumped out of my skin, shrieked and accidentally threw my phone across the room. I was so embarrassed I just ran out crying.

"Peace over penis" - surprising wisdom from Too Hot To Handle.

I cannot get over these photos that someone posted of the rainbow covering the moon it is gorgeous

If you see this post, repost with a Pokémon, an Animal Crossing villager, a flower and a colour you like 💙🌈

You know when the content warnings are all your favourite things, the show will probably be good.

I've booked tickets for a poly speed dating night. I've never been speed dating before, the concept has always sounded kind of contrived to me, but I feel with a poly one, people are more likely looking for general connections rather than "the one" or whatever. It'll just be nice to meet people 🙂

I am just so in love with most of the Final Fantasy IX characters it's ridiculous. I want to cry every time Vivi is sad (which is ALL THE TIME 😭). I love Quina and their inability to think of anything other than food. I love Freya because she's a total fucking badass. This game is great.

I wonder what it's like to be that person who wows people. To be that person people refer to as "your hot/pretty/gorgeous friend". To actually be interesting, or funny, or have interests that interest people, or intelligent or anything. It must be really nice.

Almost every memoir I've read by an English musician worth anything has a section about them being on the dole. This alone should be enough to support UBI.

"Your child will not grow out of their autism, but they will grow into it". I thought this quote was amazing, the idea that you learn to accommodate your needs and advocate for yourself. Which is something those of us who are late diagnosed/on waitlists/etc don't get to start learning until later.