The goods have been received - I am being stabbed in the ass tomorrow 🫡

Thank fuck I'm a morning person in this heat because I've naturally woken up at 6am for the last few days and managed to get things done before everything becomes too much

Marry a trans guy so he will wash your car for you in 1000 degrees heat because it gives him gender euphoria

Being the youngest on my dad's side of the family has somehow meant I am taking responsibility of my dad's and my grandparents graves which is very epic /s

its still so freeing being able to lay shirtless in the sun 🙂‍↕️ I cannot wait to get my scars tatted so I can be shirtless in public without being scared of being hate crimed 🤠

I lied, they fucked it up lol

it's Nebido day lads 🫡

chat by the end of this year I might have no job and no rights as a trans person in the UK so what..do i do? 🤠

GTA RP making me tear up multiple times this week was not on my bingo card

Just said "Coolio" actually take me out the back and 🔫 me

FINALLY going on nebido, I've never been so excited to be stabbed in the butt

actually losing my motherfucking miiiind today HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THINGS WHEN YOU GIVE ME LIKE 1/4 OF THE INFO I ACTUALLY NEED

2 tattoo sessions booked in on consecutive days 🤠 First one is my Dan and Phil tattoos being done by a phannie tattoo artist Second one is the start of my big chest piece that's gonna be done by a trans guy I can't wait to have queer art on my body forever 😌

Gary's balding

"what the fuck are you on about?" "9/11, when am I not?"

i have a coworker that i was absolutely terrified of when i first joined the company and now we spend most of our day bitching about other people and chatting shit 🤠 we stan growth

MCR movement??? That isn't just tour things???

forever showing up to my big boy office job in a band shirt and the same pair of jeans that don't make me dysphoric

Dan assuming "Tofu" was a non-binary listener is fucking hilarious tho

I've messaged a tattoo artist that's a phannie to do my dnp tattoo finally 🥺🥺🥺

back to work after a week off, forgot my work password, called support, got my laptop unlocked, instantly overwhelmed with emails I love capitalism

I have not watched the phupload yet because I was at a tøp club night - I am scared to watch it 😃😃

why did the tøp appreciation night DJ give me gym motivation tho

one of my besties just had a realisation that danisnotonfire is in fact Dan Howell.. I fear I have failed as a phannie

in my house wife era (I've had the week off work and all I've done is deep clean the house and embroider)

reminder for UK oomfs to vote :)

Having the steam set up 5 mins early knowing full well these gays are not going to be on time

Officially hit the age of "the weather is nice, time to deweed the patio and go to the tip" 🥴

Tomodatchi being accurate once again

Update: "inevitably" became "by the end of the year" today 🤠 "Not a single person will write a line of code by the end of the year" 🤠

Lore accurate Dan

Hard Launch moment

accidently made Dan Howell straight in tomodatchi life

Just watched my wife put ice cream, cheese, maple syrup and paprika on an ice cream and now im questioning my life choices

Accidently said an idea out loud at work and now I've been given more responsibility 🫡

Work drama is so fun like I can listen to the tea and not deal with any consequences

Whether or not a production issue is specifically caused by LLM-generated code, vibe-coding is going to be the casual synecdoche for the end-stage result of the "move fast and break things" philosophy that has eroded technology for the past decade.

I don't know how I ended up taking responsibility at work and I would like to give some back

On a related note, I finally went to Temple of Fun last weekend (the vegan restaurant owned by Oli Sykes) and it was very epic

Luke warm take of the day: From someone with 0 knowledge about vocal shit, I genuinely don't think Oli Sykes is going to be able to get through a whole show doing Count Your Blessings let alone 2 in a row

Was touching grass this weekend, finally got around to watching the phupload and honestly 10/10 video watching them get progressively more drunk

Slowly watching all of my coworkers care a lot less about work is epic People who used to work until stupid o'clock in the morning are suddenly deciding they don't want to do overtime People generally just not putting in as much effort as they used to and finally stand up for themselves

Bro I'm so fucking tired of getting ill ALL THE FUCKING TIME and the doctors will not do anything to help It's making me so miserable

Bit the bullet and I have enquired about getting a tattoo to cover up my top surgery scars :))

It's almost impressive how useless some people are at their jobs 😭

My body is not made for being busy all weekend and then doing a 9-5, I need at least 3 business days to recover

Con haul is very Phil core

Con day 3 - my legs MIGHT fall off today

I have not watched the amazingphil upload and I will be missing stream tonight I hate touching grass

Con weekend day 2 🫡