I realize all of you back east are dealing with up to 2 feet of snow, but I mean these birds just won’t shut the hell up. So, you know… we all have our struggles. Just kidding, loves, stay warm and safe ❤️

I remember the day I walked into that orphanage in Chernobyl and adopted @unicornshawn.bsky.social like it was yesterday. They said he had just about zero chance of living past 5 and although he’s not at all right in the head, here he is still thriving. Think I could sue them? I mean, had I known…

I cracked myself up with this one 😂 Did y’all know I was on TikTok? @ TikTokGoBoom #TikTokSawItFirst

It’s a bit nipply outside today. Apparently inside as well 😜

In the 80s, my sis @unicornshawn.bsky.social and I worked as temps while pursuing our dream of being Rockettes. Our asses were already on the line as neither of us knew how to type, fax or take shorthand, but this incident really sealed the deal. In my defense, the room really did smell like vagina.

Me entering 2026

Me and my sis @unicornshawn.bsky.social out doing a bit of holiday shopping

@bobbyblowjob.bsky.social @unicornshawn.bsky.social youtu.be/c_t0Q4y77FU

Lois Griffin has read my posts.

This is the best demonstration I’ve seen of how incredible an accomplishment running the New York City Marathon is. I’ve done it twice now… and it still blows my mind. Congratulations to everyone who finished yesterday. You’re amazing.

Back to Palm Springs I go!

“His famous first attempt” 💀💀💀

Found this clip from when of my sis @unicornshawn.bsky.social and I were in an up and coming girl group called the Monthlies. We were just about to head out on a North American mall tour when we discovered malls don’t exist anymore. Another dream dashed. (how to delete and repost due to miss tag)

Just remembering that time back in high school when my sis @unicornshawn.bsky.social and I were interviewed by the local news station about what we saw as our futures. #TooFar?

Sitting next to a red hatter who returned his tray of food… that was described IN DETAIL… because he has a gluten allergy and “there’s nothing on here I can eat”. He then said they “need to be accommodating to people’s dietary restrictions.” Careful, buddy, you’re starting to sound a bit liberal

I’m at it again! What? I’ve been home almost two weeks. I need a vacation.

What does it mean if I saw Michael Myers? 😬

People after they follow my account for a few days

On the occasion of our seventh birthday, mother insisted @unicornshawn.bsky.social and I stand for our annual portrait despite the pain of rickets.

This is who runs this account

Wake me in Paris 🇫🇷

Post a kick ass woman:

The reboot we deserve #SabrinaTheMiddleAgedBitch

The face I'm submitting to Bluesky for verification

A little yard work ahead of the humidity #ButchDaddyRealness

I’ve made a list of what I consider to be the 60 worst songs of the 80s. Shall I start posting?

What a fantastic 2 weeks in Palm Springs. Thanks ❤️

Not the last one saying “congratulations” 🤦‍♂️ jfc #juneteenth

Taken seconds before having a finger in my ass

Me and @unicornshawn.bsky.social in the not so distant future

What I was making : What I was wearing

Me and my sis @unicornshawn.bsky.social giving the absolute minimum. 1s across the board

Me and my sis @unicornshawn.bsky.social in the not so distant future. Obviously I’m the one in pink.

Pretty damn good turnout for a such a small town. #NoKingsProtest #NoKings

Can anyone guess what’s driving me crazy about this?

😂😂😂

Who’s the goodest puppy? Happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

He aimed directly at her. Not a stray bullet. Not a misfire. Not confusion amid chaos. A deliberate and purposeful shot. Every person living in the United States should be very scared right now

I had to do it. A bit esoteric, but cheers to those who know it 😂😂😜

Apparently, she’s now a lady of (ath)leisure

Lady, I once sat on a plane for over six hours with no air conditioning or entertainment while a mechanic “tinkered” with a landing gear issue. Kindly STFU

Me as a parent

Back from another amazing trip to Palm Springs. At this rate, it would be cheaper to buy a place there. Hey… that’s not a bad idea.

Daddy’s off to dinner… alone 🙁

A definite vibe #palmsprings

If only it were this easy

It’s time for the annual posting of this gem again. 🤦‍♂️ Yup, that’s me in the middle enjoy the Easter Bunny‘s lap a little too much. Happy Easter everyone!

Category is: Palm Springs Daddy Realness