Escaped from the backroom drenched in sweat and I'm not even sure how much of it is my own. Happy Pride!

What’s it like inside your head?

I had to run a few errands early this morning and all the shirtless joggers were OUT

Two of my friends just met for the first time out in the wild, and they're both texting me about how bad they want to fuck each other

I love looking at old vacation photos of myself because I obviously packed the best of my wardrobe at the time, and I'm just wearing shit like an H&M graphic tee

I never would have guessed that everybody would not only accept the "big brother" surveillance state, but gleefully spend their own money to expand the network against themselves and everyone around them

Even as a religious family, wouldn't you have an issue with your kid receiving religious lessons that may not be in line with the specifics of your church's teachings?

I spent all day driving wild on a test track, then I had to readapt back to my own car on public roads

Sometimes I like to guess the genre of car that a stranger drives. I saw a twink airline pilot with a rainbow lanyard while getting coffee. With gay taste and pilot money, I figured he would have a cool car, likely something German. He hopped into a Porsche Macan. Nailed it

Rise n' shine

B2K is so outmatched lmao They should have gone against Day26 or someone else

I left home for the office at 4am, worked late, and my phone ended the day at 81% charge. They were in there whooping my ass

Idk how to describe it but the Slate feels like the automotive equivalent of the "trad" cosplay movement. It's trying to be back-to-basics, but you don't really get anything for the penance of stripping out all the features. You can get a nice EV or truck with much more content around the same price

Chicago has enough tourists already, but it still would have been cool to host an actual match. I want to spread the gospel of Summertime Chi to a global audience rather than them having their first US experience in fucking Missouri (yes, shitting on my home state)

I talk nasty to these gays from all over the country, then everybody visits for Market Days and the bill comes due

A friend from Texas is in PV, Mexico and he met a hot guy from Chicago but they didn't exchange information. Turns out I know exactly who he's talking about, but the guy doesn't have social media. So now I'm texting the guy's husband to pass along a phone number like Craigslist Missed Connections

Leviticus was such a cute story of young queer love 🥰 despite the evil entity trying to violently kill them

Cardi, whack her again

There was a group in the movie theater chit chatting, not even in hushed times, just full volume mundane conversation. One of them started to say "omg you know what I really hate" and a man took the perfect opportunity to shout "everyone in here really hates that you won't shut the fuck up" 😭

My job made us add AI usage to our annual goals and of course people are just copy-pasting AI output even when the information is irrelevant, incorrect, or doesn't make sense. It's glaringly obvious when someone can't answer basic follow-up questions on something they created

Why do gay men act like playing porn at the bars will repel women like garlic against vampires. If anything, it will just increase the novelty of the experience

I honestly can't comprehend what people are afraid of. My husband will always be willing to accompany me if I really don't want to do something solo, but I still go to the movies or a restaurant alone at least once every single week

I got out of there at 16

I would like to apologize to my mother for feeling like she was overreacting. Whenever my husband buys new shampoo and conditioner, he starts using it before finishing the old bottles. We always have 4-6 open bottles in the shower

Bulldogs 😍

It’s Juneteenth. Post your favorite Black fictional character..

I hope that everyone's Juneteenth is filled with joy and niggatry 🥰

The Trump administration aren't the only people to prematurely declare that the water is clear

So many people just have their whole dick out on Close Friends nowadays

4 former presidents are in Chicago right now and I wonder how many are gonna show up for that Trump 250 bullshit in two weeks

Following a bunch of bears means that I constantly hear "Cute Face Chubby Waist" while swiping through stories

The concept of jewelry is kinda funny when you think about it. Our primitive little brains still love to decorate ourselves with shiny objects and pretty rocks

Yes. And he's gay and happens to live in my neighborhood, but he curved me on the apps lmao 🥲

I noticed I wasn't following someone who I used to, so I assumed it was an accident on my end since he's still following me. But now I realize that he probably posted some bullshit that made me unfollow, but I can't remember what it was, but also it couldn't have been that bad if I didn't block 🤔

I may not be able to last a minute in your butt, but at least I can survive Modelland

Random useless lore: the creator of Snapchat was in my group for my college capstone project. Unlike the Elon Musk type, he's actually a brilliant engineer and his personality is exactly what you would expect

Mr. Dua Lipa is starring in a romcom that takes place in NYC. It feels cliche to always be set in the same city, but I guess you lose some plot devices when not in a dense city. You're not going to serendipitously run into each other on the train or romantically walk someone home in most of the US

Whenever I like a song from a music artist I've never heard of, I have to do a quick search to make sure they're not AI

I needed an afternoon pick-me-up so I made a virgin espresso martini (just a latte shaken into a martini glass)

Has anyone checked Nicki's house for the Mold That Amplifies Evil

Mondays are extra homophobic during Pride Month #MonochromeMonday #MCM

While we're under a fascist regime that had been openly trying to create databases of trans people, we have queer "safe places" tracking our faces

This season can we move past the commentary on pool party photos of white muscle gays

I was casually chatting with a guy at a bar and he started asking me questions. I don't think I've ever been so turned on

I'm a bit disappointed that I haven't heard a DJ mix Modelland yet

I'm Anthony 👋🏽

My biggest issue with hooking up with a sex content creator is what if you label my video with one of those crazy ass titles

But why do we basically have the same body type six times then jump straight from an 8-pack to a potbelly 😂

I have a friend visiting for the weekend, so I gave him the spare keys to my place. He said that isn't really necessary since we'll be coming home together anyway. Night #1 and he went home with somebody (a friend who I introduced knowing that they are each other's type 👹)

Whenever people drive to my place, they talk about how impossible it is to find parking. Unfortunately limited parking is directly correlated to many of the things that make a neighborhood desirable and walkable