Happy Halloween, @krassenstein.bsky.social! 👻🎃💀🦇

BREAKING 🚨: President Trump declares cyanide is harmful to humans. Leftists: 👇🏻

BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Rand Paul wants to fish the Caribbean.

BREAKING 🚨: Temu Obama (@hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social) does not enjoy golf.

BUILD BACK BETTER!

BREAKING 🚨: Trump is now a pharaoh! Supreme one!

NO KINGS DAY LMAO! Cry harder, lìbtards!

I can smell the liberal riots already …

BREAKING 🚨: It’s “ALL KINGS WEEKEND” day starting Saturday. ALL HAIL THE KINGS! #ALLKINGSDAY crushing #NOKINGS

BREAKING 🚨: The National Federation of Federal Employees President Randy Erwin has a few eggs he would like to make with the president. 🤷‍♂️🤣 Filed Under: @randyerwin.bsky.social | @nffe.bsky.social

BREAKING 🚨: President Trump will be naming ANTIFA and TRANTIFA foreign terrorist organizations.

BREAKING 🚨: Governor Pritzker is going to prison!

BREAKING 🚨: Jonathan Rinderknecht, aka Jon Rinder on Facebook, a radical leftist Democrat, is allegedly the "Climate Changer" behind the Palisades fires.

JUST IN 🔔: Ed Krassenstein (@krassenstein.bsky.social) is having a meltdown over the NATIONAL GUARD arriving in Chicago.

Little Cryin’ @adamkinzinger.substack.com is clown fodder.

I figured I’d make a little, Cryin’ Kinzinger while I watch the TRANTIFA riots in garbage Portland.

BREAKING 🚨: Izzy Gardon (@igardon.bsky.social), the voice behind Gavin Newsom’s (@governor.ca.gov) social media accounts, is seen deeply kissing a co-worker at a party sponsored by Governor Newsom’s Social Media Office.

BREAKING 🚨: George Soros provided a new round of protestors to stand along the side of a major road in Portland and hold up random flags and signs from trans rights to the war in Ukraine. An investigation led to paychecks being received by a Soros owned company through leaked sources.

JUST IN 🔔: Harry Sisson (@harryjsisson.bsky.social), the liberal beta soy clown, is using a dildo on TikTok as a pointing stick during a video he posted about a fantastic Trump meme song. According to close friends, he used it for other purposes during the failed Biden administration.

BREAKING 🚨: The beta soys are out in Portland, OR again, showerless and jobless, rioting like a bunch of bridge trolls, attempting to prevent the authorities from doing their jobs. However, it’s nothing a can of pepper spray and sour balls won’t fix.

BREAKING 🚨: Pedo Diddy is receiving a significant sentence and will be put away for a very long time in a federal pound-me-in-asś prison.

BREAKING 🚨: Well known climatologist, Greta Thunberg, who instructed that three plastic jars of aid, enough to feed a family of one for an afternoon, tossed off the side of a floating dildo that burned 1,500 gallons of diesel fuel into the atmosphere, was saved by an Israeli armada.

FACTS 🧑‍🏭: @netflix.com is shit.

BREAKING 🚨: Chuck Schumer’s wife is not happy with her husband since her USAID payments were halted due to his government shutdown. She is threatening him to revive her role as Austin Powers in a fourth film “The Woman With The Golden Schlang”.

JUST IN 🔔: President Trump enjoys a walk with former President Biden after lunch at the nursing home.

This is such a lovely echo chamber of the Soylent left.

BREAKING 🚨: Miss Piggy Moos is posting death threats like he’s giving away candy. The FBI and DHS have been notified. Filed Under: @annabellemoos.bsky.social

JUST IN 🔔: Our country is currently suffering fatigue from a DINDU MUFFIN cultural collapse.

BREAKING 🚨: Eric Adams drops out of mayoral race in NYC to drive more votes towards Cuomo so we don’t have a communist, Islamist, terrorist sympathizer in office.

Self-declared ANTIFA member, Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein.bsky.social) has promoted ANTIFA to obstruct justice of law enforcement and ICE agents to prevent them from arresting criminal illegal aliens in Portland, OR. He has been reported to DHS and the FBI. SOURCE: x.com/krassenstein...

JUST IN 🔔: Trump trolls libtards and Panicans with the Amelia Earhart files. 🤣😎

BREAKING 🚨: Jimmy Kimmel’s contract expires May 2026 and ABC will not be renewing it as his program is being considered as unwatchable except for 130,000 liberals who are searching online for retail vendors that still sell Lite Brite replacement templates.

BREAKING 🚨: Liberals are melting down about Tylenol and Nintendo over two different narratives.

BREAKING 🚨: Liberals are popping Tylenol like candy and waking up in the hospital with liver failure so they can protest the NIH’s statement on the effects of autism.

JUST IN 🚨: President Trump releases statement that it is not safe to ingest rat poison. liberals:

BREAKING 🚨: The failed and fraudulent James Comey (@jamescomey.bsky.social) has been indicted by a grand jury. THE STORM HAS ARRIVED…

THOUGHT 💭: What kind of body type is this?

BREAKING 🚨: A radical leftist’s anonymous account issues threats for a Charlie Kirk vigil at @ucsantabarbara.bsky.social on “YikYak”.

BREAKING 🚨: YouTube reverses their effort on free speech and re-suspended all unbanned accounts. YouTube has reneged freedom of speech 24 hours after they were exposed for canceling conservative accounts by orders of the fraudulent and failed Biden administration.

🚨 BREAKING: Ryan Routh found guilty in assassination attempt against President Trump.

🚨 BREAKING: President Trump to announce cyanide and ricin are harmful.

I’d much rather see All In The Family reruns than Jimmy Kimmel.

The only thing better than a Big Mac is two Big Mac’s.

I never get the sauces I selected when I DoorDash McDonald’s.

🤷‍♂️

What the heck is Brian @krassenstein.bsky.social talking into? 🤣🤣🤣

RIP - Robert Redford