What do you mean your parents didn't passive-aggressively crush every little hope, wish, and dream you ever expressed?

Kameido, Hiroshi Yoshida. Woodblock print, 1927.

Windows solicitor: "We're giving your neighbours Michelle and Carlos a quote, can we give you one too?" Me, PJs at 2 pm on a Thursday, on a street with 60+ houses, who knows any neighbours names against my will: "I don't know them. Leave a card and go away." How hard is it to install a moat? 🤔

The unparalleled confidence that comes from dropping a pre-paid parcel into the box when the post office line is 6 deep 🤌🏻

my brain just blurted out "It's Saturday" as I was walking away from her. Then I heard the "oh shit!" from behind me and it killed me. 🤣

Me: "Gonna do a Sunday roast dinner like adults." @mrbevers.bsky.social : "It's Saturday." Me: "Oh shit, it is." Saturday roast dinner.

"Her voice is the front porch of a home with everyone you love waiting inside." -Clint Smith, on his grandmother

Lucifer has a point

False spring will be upon us soon. Do not be fooled.

Les Diablerets (The Oldenhorn and the Bécabesson), Paul Signac. 1903, oil on canvas.

It’s crazy that it’s basically just a combination of the single worst most disastrous parts of every administration in history

Shocking things my dad said this visit: he knows about "coming to the cottage". And that the cottage will be available to rent soon.

.... disparaging the gold winning women's team partying with kash Fucking losers.

Well the Americans will be truly insufferable now. 🏒

"Who wants to be around that many people anyways?" Proceeds to where there is more people instead.

Do stupid things, win punches.

Happiness isn’t happiness without a violin-playing goat. La Mariée, Marc Chagall. 1950, Gouache and pastel.

David Milne, Gray Hill, 1915-1916. Oil on canvas.

We took two group photos and @genomancer.bsky.social's phone mashed them together for us so everyone could be in the photo. Turned out great! What a crew. 💖

A bookish content creator walks into Medieval Times and has dinner with MTG folk. No joke. It's just what happened.

Be still my heart 😍 The destruction of your 'art' is more creative than you could ever be 😂

Thought I was a Dorothy then Blanche punched a doctor after reading a book and now I don't know anymore.

Them: "What's she doing?" @mrbevers.bsky.social : "I dunno, I just love her." ❤️

Today is the dot of the i in Jeremy Bearimy.

You mean I have to wrap the gifts now? I can't just toss them in a plastic bag on Christmas morning and throw them at the recipient like my uncle did to me when I was 12? That used VHS copy of Armageddon was like a meteor to my ribs.

😭

Mood.

Me: "People are amazed at Dick van Dyke's aged makeup back then being so accurate to him now." Steve: "It's just a big prank he's been doing since?" Me: "What's that movie? Magicians?" Steve: "The Prestige?" Me: "Yes. marry a man that gets you." Steve: "Marry a girl that's easy to understand." Wow😂

Starry Night, Edvard Munch. Oil on canvas, 1922-1924.

Can we all just agree nobody wants another family's stale holiday treats the week after Christmas?

Between November 1st and January 15th there are approximately 29 holidays observed by 7 of the world's major religions... Only an asshole would think theirs are the only ones that count. Happy Holidays!

Mhmm.

An American had the goddamn audacity to get fries and gravy (no curds) and call it poutine. FRIES AND GRAVY ARE NOT A POUTINE JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE DAIRY. Also compared a Dare Mallow Banana to a circus peanut and I'm ready to murder for that banana flavoured marshmallow.

*watching television* Me: "Those chicken nuggies look awful. They look like they're so devoid of personality that if I ate them, they'd make me homophobic." Steve: "Pardon?" You heard me.

Happy regular Thursday.

What do you mean you only follow accounts about finance, cheap recipes, and cleaning hacks? Where's your whimsy? Where's your girl making furby mirrors? Where's your man dressed as a mallard? Where's your person embroidering swear words? Life is meant to be enjoyed, not streamlined for optimization.

Capo di Noli, near Genoa. Paul Signac. 1898. Oil on canvas.

My dad never fails to say one surprising thing every time we visit. Today: He thinks Jon Stewart is hilarious when he rips into 🍊. "He's a very funny man." Like, who are you?!

Canadian niceness at its finest.

Nov 21, 2017: Me: *observes lifted pick-up truck* "Someone's over compensating." Steve: "I love you." Me: "What? Why?" Steve: "Because you make really random observations about stuff around us. It's like when the director's commentary starts talking about the extras in the background."

I did. If they tell you not to read it, read it twice.

Southern Ontario is so far from the rest of Canada that it's also far from Southern Ontario.

And me!

Just sharing a heat pad with a cat, like you do.

It is difficult to keep the whimsy and the rage proportional.

One of our town councilors claims our town was never on native land and my fucking fist would like a word.