Them: "What's she doing?" @mrbevers.bsky.social : "I dunno, I just love her." ❤️

Today is the dot of the i in Jeremy Bearimy.

You mean I have to wrap the gifts now? I can't just toss them in a plastic bag on Christmas morning and throw them at the recipient like my uncle did to me when I was 12? That used VHS copy of Armageddon was like a meteor to my ribs.

😭

Mood.

Me: "People are amazed at Dick van Dyke's aged makeup back then being so accurate to him now." Steve: "It's just a big prank he's been doing since?" Me: "What's that movie? Magicians?" Steve: "The Prestige?" Me: "Yes. marry a man that gets you." Steve: "Marry a girl that's easy to understand." Wow😂

Starry Night, Edvard Munch. Oil on canvas, 1922-1924.

Can we all just agree nobody wants another family's stale holiday treats the week after Christmas?

Between November 1st and January 15th there are approximately 29 holidays observed by 7 of the world's major religions... Only an asshole would think theirs are the only ones that count. Happy Holidays!

Mhmm.

An American had the goddamn audacity to get fries and gravy (no curds) and call it poutine. FRIES AND GRAVY ARE NOT A POUTINE JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE DAIRY. Also compared a Dare Mallow Banana to a circus peanut and I'm ready to murder for that banana flavoured marshmallow.

*watching television* Me: "Those chicken nuggies look awful. They look like they're so devoid of personality that if I ate them, they'd make me homophobic." Steve: "Pardon?" You heard me.

Happy regular Thursday.

What do you mean you only follow accounts about finance, cheap recipes, and cleaning hacks? Where's your whimsy? Where's your girl making furby mirrors? Where's your man dressed as a mallard? Where's your person embroidering swear words? Life is meant to be enjoyed, not streamlined for optimization.

Capo di Noli, near Genoa. Paul Signac. 1898. Oil on canvas.

My dad never fails to say one surprising thing every time we visit. Today: He thinks Jon Stewart is hilarious when he rips into 🍊. "He's a very funny man." Like, who are you?!

Canadian niceness at its finest.

Nov 21, 2017: Me: *observes lifted pick-up truck* "Someone's over compensating." Steve: "I love you." Me: "What? Why?" Steve: "Because you make really random observations about stuff around us. It's like when the director's commentary starts talking about the extras in the background."

I did. If they tell you not to read it, read it twice.

Southern Ontario is so far from the rest of Canada that it's also far from Southern Ontario.

And me!

Just sharing a heat pad with a cat, like you do.

It is difficult to keep the whimsy and the rage proportional.

One of our town councilors claims our town was never on native land and my fucking fist would like a word.

We (🇨🇦) stopped producing pennies in 2012. You'll (🇺🇸) be fine.

Them: "They should shut our government down too, that'll show them Libs!" Me: "Our government literally can't 'shut down'. The governor general would step in." Them: "I don't think that's right." Well gee, I've only got dual university degrees and you're a high school dropout but, okay.

Still riding the high of being the best backpack packer in my tenth grade gym class when we went on a camping trip to a local conservation area.

Me: "I think my Irish lessons are going well." Gaeilgeoir: "jiujgvdyaecyklamfhbimkkhbccswrgv." Me: "Um, nope, no. Okay." I can read a fair bit. Not so much on the spoken word.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT THE FARMER'S ALMANAC?! 😭

Me: "I'm trying to learn a little Irish, motherland and all." Them: "So you're learning Gaelic?" Me: "Irish." Them: "They're the same thing." Me: "Ní maith liom tú." No.

Steve: "Don't worry, I hear that you're angry." Sharla: "Are you talking to me or the air fryer?" Steve: "Both." @mrbevers.bsky.social sees me. And the air fryer.

Landscape with Wheat Sheaves and Rising Moon, Vincent van Gogh. Oil on canvas, 1889.

Just a girl and her favourite lake.

VP Cheney will be honoured with a 21 gun salute accidentally aimed directly at 21 of his friends

*buys a piece of merch for every Toronto team "just in case"*

Just a lighthouse on a cliff.

All "small" bags of chips should be this size. More than 6 chips inside and you get the pleasure of eating chips straight from the bag unbothered without exceeding the amount you would get if you poured them into a bowl from a bigger bag. You can eat all of me, baby.

My favourite 🥰

News orgs: *follows rules of language and common sense when using 'retain' vs 'reclaim'* L.A. Dodgers fans: *big mad* Seems pretty on brand for a country where 54% of its adult population is below a fifth grade reading level.

Well, fuck.

Butts are where the friendship is stored. ⚾

I like when they cover their mouths to whisper with each other, like they’re talking about boys that they like

R.I.P. all the other sports being played tonight.