Finally decided on my bday gift to myself, new cookware! (Stainless steel)

One of my dreams last night was of the fucking sims and completing the imaginary friend quest things, which I DO NOT want to to ever do in that game 🤣

Have a bun on top of my head and I knew I went to bed with it in, but I just woke up and gasped when I saw myself in the mirror because the way the hair is popping out of it, I look like a Who 😂😂😂

Nothing like shooting fall family photos and it’s 85° outside 😭

Accidentally put way too much matcha in my crunch berries smoothie this morning 😬

Nothing beats some good gentle piano music on a beautiful fall morning 🍂

Maximum comfortable work hours for me is 6 with a lunch in there

Me sending a work email “I’m not sure if these are dupes, but I have strong suspicions” lol

My god I attempted to post about my smoothie tasting like Crunch Berries but there were so many typos when I looked at it again I had to delete lmao

I love how smoking is included in parental warnings now lol

One of the reasons I hate phone calls at work is because it’s 90% of the time a variation of “my son in law was attacked by Bigfoot and I can’t attend in two hours” lmao

I truly can’t believe I did this much work all day every day before vacation. I have loudly said OMG several times today 😭 legit dizzy from all the screens lol

I did a good job with my time off work because holy wow I am like “wtf do I do next again?” 😅

One of peanuts classmates dads looks exactly like Pauly D lmao

Ofc they did layoffs when I was out on vacation

Recent readings on gastrointestinal migraines popped into my head while I was laying down with a headache migraine that nothing would touch for more than an hour. So I took pepto at the recommendation of my untrimmed brain synapses and it’s helping!

Replacing the Sunday Scaries with the Sunday Wanting to Fire Myself into the Heart of the Sun.

Totally forgot that I found Titanic two vhs set at an estate sale last weekend for $2 and had to get it lol it was an iconic part of my childhood. Specifically the two vhs tapes 🤣 it was so suspenseful to have to change tapes

What if all the men in charge resigned and were replaced with not men?

I’m considering setting a thing of cat litter outside their door lol

Peanut and I went and saw the Gabbys Dollhouse movie in the theater 10/10 loved it!! Also good for adults lollllll

Since I only have the cat to practice German with, tonight is “wer hat Puffschwanz” And “wer hat Streifen” and then “gesundheit” when she sneezed lmao

I was brushing my teeth and peanut popped up out of nowhere playing the sailor moon music box, and it instantly transported me back to her age in a museum gift shop looking at all the music boxes 🥹

Corn on the cob in the air fryer was a success

It’s really hard to cook in my kitchen on the days the neighbors cat piss smell is wafting thru 😭

I was so far off lol it was Gosford Park. Me: “I've probably seen this movie if it came out in 2001 and has Ryan Phillipe in it “ 😂😅

When you’ve been recommended a movie but forgot the name again and all your brain can think of is “Foghorn Landing” 😂😂🤣🤣

Teaching peanut how to write cursive (she requested!)

One of the cutest things ever is when Nova knows peanut is going to give her treats and she either springs off my bed or follows her out hahaha

They should have mandatory “how to speak into a microphone” classes in school lmao

School bingo night was a success!

Season 1 episode 3 of downton abbey is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen lmao I finished the series and two movies but I had to rewatch this episode 😂

My friends sent me a video of them singing happy bday and all of a sudden their dog’s giant shark jaw appeared and looked like he was singing too 💜🤣🙌🏻

Took a shower at the crack of dawn which never happens, so the bathroom spider was like “wtf man!” And I had to apologize 😂😅

I just moved 700 emails to the wrong folder lollllllll

Technologically fluent and yet I can’t figure out how to purchase one song lmao

We officially have a fleet of paper airplanes in this house 😂

I did not realize the pre roll was infused until it was lit lolllllll

I love how music from 1986 always sounds like it’s from 1986 lol

The correct word we are looking for here is “migraine”

Idk if it’s the lack of sleep or what but I’m having a full on Here Lies Squidward’s Hopes and Dreams moment about not using my artistic talents at my day job

I love backup cameras but now people are parallel parking within an inch of your front bumper and how tf does anyone expect to get out?!!!

I hope whoever grabbed the ol’ table and chairs from near the dumpster is going to get a good use out of them!!

Starting the day with a shot (of pepto lol)

Remembering how the apt people put a square of carpet in the linen closet directly over a whole layer of used cat litter from the last tenant

Table and one chair built yesterday. Might assembly line the last three chairs

The neurodivergent need to clean a secret mess because a friend perceived it on accident or in an emergency

Tub Nova, showing off her crown tummy

Instead of being normal dudes love to be like

Adding “fugly” back into my regular vocabulary