No World Cup games today. This blows.

Christiano Ronaldo is the white Drake

I want to get the Lionel Messi haircut. He's my style icon.

the USSR never won a World Cup

SEND MATT FREESE TO IRAN

Christian Pulisic is the modern Jozzy Altidore. So Washed.

They're playing a club version remix of Freebird in the stadium. America has made invaluable cultural & material contributions to the world.

Excuse me, did just see a 10 man United States score straight off a free kick in a World Cup knockout match?

MANAGER YELLOW CARD MANAGER YELLOW CARD MANAGER YELLOW CARD MANAGER YELLOW CARD

dawg, wtf is a world cup hydration break?

Balogun did nothing wrong

that's high speed, brother

you're allowed to smoke in Wegmans

the ladies call me Gilgamesh the way my tale so epic

like millions of Americans, I am a victim of Small Business

bro wtf is a hydration break

can you catch legionnaires by smoking from a warm bong left in the sun ?

real cowboys aren't afraid to get their jeans a little wet

a highly ornate cloth made out of fine fabrics & traditional embroidery for the soul purpose of draping over your phone screen to protect you from in-app advertisements

fuck Ashton Kutcher

I wanna be the FIFA camera operator whose job is to pick out the hot chicks

look I'm just gonna say it the USMNT coach looks like he belongs in SlipKnot

just look at that VAR team. Microsoft Teams ass bitches

Fibonacci Sequins

wearing a hat with no shirt is the same amount of clothing as wearing a shirt with no hat

plumbing in a second line just for draino

sports drink

that Columbia goal would make me quit the video game

who the fuck put TV ads in soccer? Kill them.

ita bizarre to me how much easier it is to lose stuff in a tiny apartment compared to a normal sized one

bro wtf is a hydration break

calling my friends to remind them strawberries exist in the Firefly / Serenity universe

it pisses me off when I see big clouds in the sky and they don't show up on doplar radar. WTF you mean?? they're there bro look up

bro wtf is a hydration break

you're gonna have to bend it into the back of the net, playboy

this morning I am pleasantly surprised to discover that I rearranged my pedalboard when I came home drunk the other night

sunscreen is based & goated when not getting sunburn is the vibe

primetime world cup goes crazy. this shit is supposed to be on at like 8am or some bs

It's killing me that this is goes like big number Big number Biiiig number HALF of our student loan debt 😀

I have a dream of one day attaining the status of multi-thousandaire

opening lots of wikipedia tabs is a defence mechanism

five hundred cigarettes

I'd still love to know what the whole Titan Submersible Episode was intended to distract us from

personal injury attorney but for bad sex

I'm drinking a #beer

dodgeball tournament

if GIF has a hard G, then JPG is pronounced "Jfeg" because the P stands for "photo".

it's hard to care about looking good when 2020s fashion is so so god awful

gas fueled two stroke residential AC window unit

I have to go to the store tomorrow to buy some fabric glue