So he didn’t wear boxers.

@pelgranepress.bsky.social My halfling cousin? That’s Ginfoil Raspcrackle! He’s the town’s Wishing Well Architect. Always a good echo-y kerplunk on his designs. Not a great wishgranter though. #merryshire

“We’re like two peas in a pod” “Who are all these other peas?!” “Ignore them, honey.”

Shout-out to all the local businesses literally going to social media war on their Facebook pages Bakeries can't even make rainbow shaped cookies in June without coming face to face with the most hate filled person ever....and their 13 friends who all "won't ever come again" (have never been there)

Just in: Coffee blue now.

Making a jungle out of a mole tree.

Entering a new area of the survival horror game and finding this note on a corpse:

Dance clubs should just have one person dance and we all just watch them.

Fungres are like Funyuns

Cats are like horoscopes. You can just kind of make their personalities up.

I'm beginning to suspect that Modern Dog magazine is not entirely fastidious with marking their advertorial content

Early bird gets the worm? Denny’s serves worms all day and night.

When on a cruise, don’t eat the rat shit! Even at the chef’s recommendation, they’re probably just trying to push it before it expires.

I have hotels, Greg. Can you neutral milk me?

Thank god they stopped the guy creaming things before he got past corn.

Classic

Reposting because even though the show I originally became a Max Fun member for changed directions, I’m keeping my membership specifically to help out Dr Gameshow. I guess what I’m saying is that Manolo needs to pivot the show to rewatching Star Trek now.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve drained all the fluid from my ear into this mug

Check out a first look at Disney’s ASL re-animated songs from 'Encanto,' 'Frozen 2,' and 'Moana 2,' coming to Disney+ next week. The studio reworks key musical sequences using performance-driven signing. www.cartoonbrew.com/music-videos...

This is what my 5-year-old was making during @drgameshow.bsky.social just before calling me “the worst” live on mic

So far this movie is not living up to the grand promise the cover presents.

This is probably what Absolute Kite-Man is gonna look like.

“Put on your shorts and t-shirts and grab a hammer and play outside” My neighbors apparently

We can increase the popularity of manga by introducing a companion strobe light to be used while reading. It’s just like anime now.

Subscribed the the Wife With Ads edition of Marriage

Crouching Tie Guy Hidden Drag Queen

Here's Wario's audio from the PAL version

“I’d get away with it too, if it weren’t for you metaling kids!” says the villain before turning into solid gold in my new weekly crime-solving cartoon, The Mighty Midas Touchers.

My child created her own elf on the shelf out of desperation. This thing is this close 🤏 to being brought to life by a child’s wish.

My daughter asked me to draw a heart with girl things

We need to start measuring the size of parade balloons in Trojan soldiers.

Imagine the chitinous bone prison of Dwayne Johnson surrounding your body in an ever tightening grip. That’s why The Rock is harder to break out of than Alcatraz.

The game is afoot, and I’m selling feet pics.

Cork screw is invented: “This is going to save me a lot of stress” says wine guy who’s afraid of pig penises.

POV: you are cheese

THC gummies make you high THicC gummies make you wide

I got this ad on Reddit for AI slop that starts funny purely because the bandage doesn't cover his ear and a human needed to look through their promo images and pick one, but I digress. The hook here is *actual physical objects*!

Paint can make things look like things that are different Sometimes when you whiff them, you wish that you didn’t Two, maybe more of your braincells unlitted I wonder if this is how OJ, acquitted

Onions make us cry With strong pungent gases But if onions were movies They’d fill seats with asses

The Oregon Trail pioneered multiverse theory.

Why not build the whole plane out of burning rubble?

Witches! Hexes from the fairer sexes!

Gabby’s Dollhouse’s worst contribution to society is the idea that cupcakes can shit themselves, and that it stinks.

A public bathroom rating site called Litterboxd

Well, I think I can put this game down for a while

The hardest part of being #1 is seeing the faces of the other children as I leave the arena