Fucking Briony

Oh, any mention of a skeksis obligates me to rewatch and highlight Chamberlain, the gay skeksis.... ICON www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpIo...

Dear officemate, yes it is chilly out, but this space heater has me all

Once again, taught all of first period where no one would do me a solid and say, "Hey, teach! You should just run your hand through your hair!"

“Overture” is one of my favorite words. And “luncheon”

Oh, Jane. Oh, Mary!

🎶You really can’t stay Cuz, baby, I’m cold inside🎶

Yasssssss, Krystle

What if I went somewhere early December and people sang/pondered if I'd be back by Christmastime? www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEyG...

"I always pick a gorgeous time to fall over a suitcase or something." (Quote, Holden Caulfield and.... wait for it.... ME!)

You bring the sound and I'll bring the fury?

Maybe some people post thirsty things for validation and maybe some blast Young Galaxy's "Pretty Boy" in their kitchen. Each entirely is what it is. www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiXi...

What if I wrote a screenplay about the gay elf from Rudolph titled Hermey, Say What? and was, I don’t know, nominated for an Oscar?

Do any of your students have a crush on you, or the rather special flipside, do you have a crush on any of your students?

Someone just lamented how Thanksgiving break "coulda been a little longer," and I very nearly responded....

Sometimes I think about Elaine's failed business venture, Top of the Muffin to You.

To my colleague who is such a comrade in winter weather (snow days): Please understand the concept of flurries. (Flurries = 1000% not a snow day, but otherwise you really are on the pulse!)

Just arrived at the grocery store where I quickly learned I left my wallet at home and left my keys in the ignition and tis the season for such a classic of a refrain: Way to go, Paul, you impossible fool.

Janet Leigh: I’ve told you there’s nothing wrong… except I’m in a hurry and you’re taking up my time. Fuck yasss Janet Leigh? Is that something? And everyone make Psycho a thanksgiving movie?

Gross dude: Are you unhappy? Janet Leigh in Psycho: Not inordinately.

Don’t underestimate a good storm out?

My humble family home but it’s Howards End

My Blue Heaven is a Thanksgiving movie

May you all here from a sibling: You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to…. It just seems like you don’t want to be here

This Thanksgiving an aunt told me I’m entirely extinct

Looks like another cracky Thanksgiving

You know what I’m most unthankful for? That colleague who unironically wanted to give me an inspirational sticker for my laptop.

Well I guess I have to make a cheesecake and save Thanksgiving

Parade banter!

A relative just asked to see a picture of me and I was all “Did you see me there? That’s me in the corner… that’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion, and I’m trying to keep up with you, but I don’t know if I can do it”

Oh, just the stand alone Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman film!!

Was worried Jane Krakowski would pull a diva move and bail on a matinee, the day before thanksgiving, but then I remembered that (pivotal) phone call I made……. “You’ve reached Broadway Professionalism… Jane speaking”

Off to see Jane Krakowski in Oh, Mary! where I will gently remind those sitting around me in the Left Mezzanine that she gave the most haunting performance in Bojack Horseman.

All Her Fault: the trash show savior you didn’t know you needed, Paul

Live footage of me qualifying for my free turkey

Tis the season when everyone should morph into Julia Roberts in August: Osage County!! (Remember, for the second half, she’s mostly in pajamas!) youtu.be/eHPsIbfNcLQ

The only three spirits

Lyric change: 🎶If they can see me now, What would they even know, Doing some things, Having some blow🎶

Half day of stupid meetings before the most necessary break ever. This is how I shall enter the room

This bathroom mirror is the most homophobic thing I’ve ever seen

What if I drive to work and just interpretatively sing along to Liz Phair’s “Chopsticks” on repeat? youtu.be/BjN4CNMxKP4

Laurie Metcalf for a third Tony, plus 4 Emmys, and Janney really needs to give her her Oscar back.

I guess I’ll just see Laurie Metcalf kill it today?

To my next door neighbor in our very residential neighborhood with his very industrial leaf blower…

It was just bizarre when, one time in the early 2000s, I said I was from New Jersey and instead of The Sopranos or Jersey Shore, some random non-New Jerseyan said, “I’ve seen Copland.”

Oh, Marjorie This has been your Sunday morning POLITICS WITH PAUL news hour. Have a relaxing day, everybody!

Wait. Holden Caulfield.... the first quiet quitter? We'll see what 2nd Period thinks.

Attention! Attention!! My life goal is to be this bitchy.

I love when Claire Danes is all, “I guess I’ll just take another Emmy award… bc none of you fuckers nominated me for a Little Women Oscar.”